Friday, September 22, 2006

Coloring inside the lines...


squashes my punkin's exploration of what she thinks is art!! I've always had a bit of an issue with "pre-determined" art for kids. Yeah, those little craft thingys they make in school are cute, but it's not thier idea, thier interpretation. It's not THEM. Today, Evie came home with this cute little worksheet with an outline of a little girl. The title was "Only 1 Me." She was supposed to color it & fill it in with whatever she wanted. YES, she did an amazing job of coloring in the lines & used lots of fun colors & even made her hair blond, but I did wish that she had just drawn her very own self portrait. It's funny, though. I actually felt guilty for feeling that way & not just being bowled over by how great she was coloring inside the lines. I know you're all rolling your eyes and thinking I've gotten way too crunchy granola (except you, Angie :-), but I really do think that sometimes our society is so obsessed with labels, commercialism & keeping up with the "Joneses" because we've lost our ability to be "free" thinkers. We're born into a society that doesn't always value the whimsy & magic of our children. I believe that there are still way too many people out there who think children are meant to be controlled, told what to think & should be seen/not heard and that it has an enormously negative impact on both our children and ourselves. Don't get me wrong, I like nice things as much as the next person, but I've found over the last 2 years that not having what I thought was so important & that I could live somewhat "without" that it's really changed what I think is important. I no longer believe that money is the marker for success in life. My marker is my family, my children & my self-image. I get a much bigger reward at the end of day when I look at my children sleeping, peaceful- happy- healthy, and I know that they are that way because of Me, of Charles.
I haven't turned into "simple living" poster child. I haven't stopped buying things just because I like them. What I have done is learn I should want things because they make me happy, not because they show others what I have.
SO, how did I get to what I want/have/believe from "coloring inside the lines?" Simple. I want to live my life without conforming to societal norms just to fit in. I want my children to learn how to learn, NOT just learn to recite, regurgitate, pass the standardized test or color in the lines. I want to sing every day for the rest of my life, just because I finally love my voice. The way it sounds, the smile it brings to the faces of my children, my family, my students, my friends. I want to write for ME. I want to write for my children. I want to write for all of you. But most of all, I want to live each day like it's my last and regret nothing else. Because honestly, I have no regrets anymore. Each piece, part, event, has made me who I am today. And you know what? I like me, I really like me.
I really was so proud of Eva's coloring today. It means her fine motor is totally ROCKIN' and that she is beginning pre-writing. And that is awesome. Any new thing she accomplishes makes me smile & fills me with joy. BUT, I can still wish for better experiences for her & make it my mission to find them for her.
Hmm. I must be feeling introspective today. Ya think?
luv to you and miss you all!
Pay
IT
Forward,
tiffers

1 comment:

The Solley Six said...

oh you are too great. i HADN'T read this yet and just got off the phone with you and this is SO TRUE ... all these mixed emotions of momhood!!! i could analyze everything if i really tried. you do have a super philosophy and all your experiences have made you a super mom to those lucky girls!
i miss you! and i don't think you're too crunchy- just the right amount. if you were any more granola who would balance me out when i want to stop washing my hair and grow dreads?