18 years ago today...

in a corner booth at a noisy honky-tonk in Jacksonville, NC...Collin Raye was blaring over the speakers, singing "If You Get There Before I Do..." and my future husband turned to me with tears in his eyes and told me..."I Love You. I really do."

And it was funny, I had been there for so long. I knew the instant we went on our first date, where he two-stepped with me to Garth Brooks in a dive bar in Havelock, whispering in my ear..."how could a man like me get so lucky to go on a date with a woman like you?" that he was the man I would marry. I woke up the very next day to the sound of ringing phone. Auntie Re was on the other line, calling from a visit with my Mom & family and I told her, I said, "I just went on a date with the man I'm going to marry." I just knew it. It took him a while to "get there," but I thank God every day that he did.

I left once. I walked away, sure I wanted to be free. I wasn't there anymore. But he was. He "got there" before I did and he waited. He was patient, kind, forgiving, and most of all, he loved me unconditionally, with his whole heart. He waited. And I came back.

11 years ago today, we stood with my family in Solana Beach and got "married" all over again, starting new, starting fresh.

And today, 18 years later, here we are, separated by 7000 miles...closer than ever, bonded for life and blessed with the 5 most amazing children any parents could ever ask for.

Charles, I miss you more than I could ever express with written words. My heart hurts when you are not here and I don't feel whole. I can't wait to see you again and whisper in your ear..."how could a woman like me get so lucky to have a man like you?"

Happy "I Love You" Anniversary, my love.

I'll be waiting.

Me.

The reason for the season...

was beautiful tonight.

My little blessings and I attended the live nativity at Emmanuel Baptist Church in Cedar Point tonight. Yep, I decided taking 5 small children to a place with fire, live animals, cookies, donuts and hot cider was a smashing idea.

WELL, ha. I was right.

It was just lovely. Of course, I got all teary eyed at the end when I took a pic of my minis to send to their Daddy. But...I'm quite pleased that I didn't cave to my overwhelming desire to stay home in my jammies and do a lot of cleaning (OR nothing...)

What a gift to my littles to have a little bit of an understanding of what it must have been like so many years ago for Mary & Joseph to travel to a strange place to do God's work. What faith they must have possessed! And how overwhelming, pregnant with no place to go and no warm bed to lie upon. It gave me much pause to realize how truly gifted we are in our time.

Charley, that sweet bean, says as she is getting tucked in tonight..."Mommy, was that the real Bethlehem?"

Mercy, light of this little family, was quite the lady this eve. Asked by our "shepperd" if she knew who was born on Christmas day, she piped back with "Baby Jesus was!"

Max, my man, was a little overwhelmed with all the business about, so he stuck to me like glue but watched with great interest.

Eva was quite impressed and made me promise to take her back again next year. :-)

Sam...well he was Sam. Tried to rip the stroller apart to escape, tore his cookie in half before he ate it and entertained the masses with his antics.

As for me?

Just too blessed to be stressed. I'm going to bed with a messy house. And when I say messy...I mean it.

Oy.

Merry CHRISTmas, my friends.

love,

clan mac mama