Thursday, February 25, 2010

Binkie Wars...


and silly faces!
Having 4 kids is like having your own stand up comedy show troupe. Yesterday was particularly entertaining as I got to watch Mercy repeatedly steal Charley's binky, which Charley promptly stole back. In the midst of this, my frighteningly smart 3 year old is spelling out my name (not Mom, Tiffany...) on her leapster while Mercy attempts to put in her own letters and eat the leapster pen. All accompanied by Max's maniacal laugh once he got involved and got Charley going on the "spit out binkie with projectile force to make Max giggle" project. This was later followed by the "push and shove" contest to see which mini mac could attack Mommy first. I must say, Max is no longer taking Mercy' crap. He plows right over her if the mood strikes. Ah, the complexities of twindom. Things are getting very interesting...

Here's some cutie patootie pics to prove my kids are adorable...

Mercy...making a "can I make it to open this cabinet before she catches me" face. Either that or it's the poop face.

Mercy...making the "look, I'm smiling for the camera" sploosh face. THIS is why I have no smiling pics of that little terd.

Eva & Charley making the "it snowed, we're cold and we conned Mom into hot cocoa, marshmallows and cookies...what can we get out of her next..." faces. :-)

Max...the "seriously, you are going to take a picture of this?" face.

Proof that these little terds NEVER let me take a pic with 2 smiling babies.


ah... "self portrait with favored stuffed animal of the moment..." by Eva

What happens when your kids steal your camera. :-)

well...that's it for now. Gotta post on the mini mac birthday and all the latest for our clan. I'll get there....
love,
clan mac mama + 1


Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Febrile Seizures are horrible.


As Charles and I now know firsthand. Yesterday afternoon, our little man suffered one when he spiked a high fever. Charles was home alone with the minis and Charley when Max had the seizure. Thank the Lord he had the presence of mind to stay calm, dial 911, keep Mercy from heading downstairs alone and follow the 911 operators instructions while waiting for the paramedics. I can't honestly say I'd have been as calm.

Praise God that he seems to be fine. They ran some tests yesterday at the hospital and sent him home in the early evening. After an hour or 2 of lethargic crankiness, he seemed to perk up and be back to his usual happy, hungry and silly self. I never thought seeing the smile of one of my children could make me get down on my knees and Praise God for His goodness while I sobbed.

To my friends Michelle and Brian: I am in awe of you both. How you have stayed strong and faithful while each of your children have dealt with 22Q and cancer, respectively, I will never know. What amazing parents you are. Yesterday opened my eyes in a totally new way to a world of parents who have to dig to the depths of their souls to stay strong enough to raise sick children. One febrile seizure and I was ready to fall apart. And I'm still a little shaky. Fell asleep thanking God and woke up tearful this morning, still thanking God. Charles looked at me last night and said, "I think it's going to be a while before I can get that image of Max out of my head." I feel so horrible that he went through that alone. Just another testament to the strength and grace of my husband as a father. You are amazing, Love.

My children are my life. It's not always an easy life, but it is one I wouldn't trade for anything. Nothing. Not one single solitary thing could change my love and desire to be their mother. Thank you Lord, for keeping my baby safe. Thank you for my husband. Thank you for every amazing person who has walked through my life because of these beautiful souls you have given me.
Thank you God. For keeping my Max safe.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Honing in on the beacon...

that locates me. Hoping that regular blogging will return me to myself. Might try to sew a seam or two, turn off the tv, call a friend...
I used to think that I'd always find the time for the things that define me, the things I enjoy. I read some of my friends blogs and they are filled with wonderful crafts, family adventures, traditions, books to read, you name it. And I wonder if they have clones I'm unaware of, nannies hidden in the rafters? Hmmmmm.
But really, I think I'm just pregnant (AGAIN) and really really really really tired. And being so sick certainly didn't help.
Is it sad that I count the years until the younger 4 are like Eva? Self sufficient, willing to eat what I make, able to dress, wash, wipe, brush, fix food, use the remote, find stuff for me? I do appreciate the wonders of the little years, but sometimes I think they just get lost in all the crazies of many children under 4.
Ah, the day has flown by in a whirlwind of activity and this blog has sat...lonely and neglected, until it's owner has returned. Too tired to write anything else and ready to stare at the tv in mindless wonder.
send me home when you find me. :-)

love,
clan mac mama + 1

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Down the rabbit hole...

I have gone. Sometimes I think that I've completely lost myself in this crazy busy life. I don't write, I don't sew, I don't sing, I don't teach. Where Have I Gone? If you find me, can you send me back? I miss Me.
Me has been replaced by a short order cook, chauffer, maid, incubator, maid...etc...
I wear the same clothes all the time because I am pregnant AGAIN and nothing is comfortable.
I am too tired to do anything but stare at the tv when I am not fulfilling previously aforementioned roles.
I forget birthdays.
I don't answer emails.
I don't buy cards for people.
I don't remember to call people back.
I don't remember to be nice as much as I would like to be.
I don't have any idea how I am going to function after June.
Ugh.
I'm going to stare at the tv.

Sunday, February 07, 2010

Women's Healthcare Associates of Jacksonville...

is irresponsible and incompetent. Following are the details of my letter to the head of the practice.

Mrs. Tiffany McCawley
303 Trappers Rd
Hubert, NC 28539
Phone (910) 333-0461


February 8, 2010


Dr. Timothy Edwards
Women’s Health Associates
…..
Jacksonville, NC 28540


Dear Dr. Edwards,

Today I received a registered form letter from your office, terminating my care. To say that I was taken aback by such action would be an understatement. Frankly, I am utterly shocked that as a physician you would take such action with consulting with me first. I feel that the events that occurred this week in connection with my medical care have been extremely distressing, to say the least.

If you have reviewed my chart, which I doubt, you would have learned that I am pregnant with my 5th child, and that my other children are aged 7, 3 and 1 year old (my twins.) I have been ill for over a month and have done everything in my power to get well. I have rested, I have taken approved medications, I have consulted doctors. You would have also learned that I have a history of HELLP syndrome, which I experienced with my second child. In my previous pregnancy with the twins and with this pregnancy, I was warned by my maternal fetal medicine specialists to be especially aware of any time I was ill, since bacterial infections and illness can increase the risk of an occurrence or reccurence of HELLP. At my most recent appointment with Dr. Middleton, I was prescribed Augmentin (my second course of antiobiotics, the first was Zithromax just 2 ½ weeks earlier) for a sinus infection. By the time of my visit with Dr. Wright 12 days later, I was still not well and had finished my course of Augmentin. Dr. Wright told me that I needed to get my sinus issues under control and recommended I get a referral for ENT. He also told me that I should be vigilant for signs of HELLP. While I had a few days where I thought I was on the road to recovery, by Saturday of last week, I was back to feeling terrible again. I spent all day Sunday and most of Monday sick in bed. On Tuesday my husband put in for leave so that I could see the doctor and hopefully find a solution to put me on the road to recovery. I called your office to make an appointment and was told that I could not be seen in the office because I might “contaminate” it. I explained to both the receptionist and the nurse that I did not think I had the flu, but that I was continuing to have issues with my sinuses. I was told again that I could not be seen in the office and that I was to go to either the urgent care clinic or the ER/L&D. I finally just gave up and said I would go to the ER/L&D. I wished to be seen by my OB to ensure that everything was still ok with the baby and that my body was not having any adverse reactions to my extended illness. Due to my history of HELLP and my 3 miscarriages, I tend to be a bit on the skittish side. If you had made any effort to communicate with me prior to the letter you sent, you would have been aware of this.

As this is my 5th child and 7th pregnancy (in 3 different states and 1 foreign country), I have seen several different Obstetricians both on and off base. Each of those physicians has been caring, concerned, thorough and patient. After my first visit to your office and with Dr. Middleton, I was under the impression that I had again found a good fit for my situation. I came to your office from the Crist Clinic, which I left for 2 reasons. They are not child friendly and abortions are performed in office, which I am uncomfortable with. I did not leave due to any conflict or lack of acceptable medical care. Especially with my limited options here in Jacksonville, I am distressed that you would take this action without having spoken with me or researched this matter any further. If Tanya or Peggy was offended that I was so upset, I apologize. However, I think you have to understand that I have been extremely ill and by now, quite concerned about my health. I was very sick in much this same fashion during my pregnancy with Charley and that was when I developed the HELLP syndrome. To add to my stress and concern, I was refused an appointment because your staff was told they could be fired for allowing a patient with flu symptoms to come into the office (which I tried to tell them I did NOT have), I was sent to L/D where I was told to go home, rest and “get a babysitter,” then given misinformation regarding follow up care. (I was told that Hazel would try to get my referral pushed through and that she would try to see if she could help me get an ENT appointment right away.) In addition, during my visit to L/D Peggy told me she didn’t understand why I was even refused the appointment and that if I was not better by Friday, I should come back in to the office. I called your office on Friday to find out that status of the referral request and ENT appointment, as I was told when I spoke with TriCare that they had no record of a request. When I called I was informed that Hazel was not there, that there was no record of any of this in my chart and that there was nothing that could be done to help me. I asked why I was not called and told that they could not help me with the referral or ENT and was told that no one in the office knew what the situation was and that they could not help me as they were just “stuck in the middle.”
I am sure that I could continue to address this issue further, as I am quite upset with this situation, but I feel that I have made my point. Your actions and the actions of your office were irresponsible and unacceptable. I will be sending a copy of this letter to TriCare, Onslow County Memorial, the State Board and to the Naval Hospital. At the very least, I feel that I deserve an apology for your unwillingness to research this issue before you took it upon yourself to terminate my care. As my chart should have told you, I am high risk for several reasons and your actions only served to exacerbate my stress. Although pregnancy is a wonderful and joyous celebration, there are times when it can cause or increase levels of stress. As a physician, you and your staff should be aware of and understanding of situations that increase or contribute to those factors. As a physician, I thought you took an oath to “first do no harm.” You may want to reread that oath when dealing with patients already under great stress.
And just in case you were wondering, I got rest and a babysitter, as well as my husband taking almost a week off of work. And I am still sick. Do you suppose an ENT referral and a visit with a doctor who actually addressed my symptoms might have been helpful had I been afforded that opportunity? And just for your information, my OB in previous pregnancies addressed any and all illnesses that arose that might lead to an issue with myself or my unborn child.

Sincerely,



Tiffany M. McCawley

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Riddlelove and a free ergo baby carrier...

are on this great blog: riddlelove
I subscribe to the newsletter for the homegrown family, and received a blurb about an ergo baby carrier giveway. SO, I decided to pass the word on (welul, it was my way of entering the contest AND passing the word about 2 great blogs) to those of you who might be in need of a baby carrier. Which, based on the fact that I am one of the only people left still having children, is probably about 3 of you. :-) But, hey, 3 peeps is better than none!
SO, check them out for great recipes, great baby gear and great blogging.
Enjoy!
Clan Mac Mama