I promised-

and man, this is hard.
Writing every day is no joke.
And, for the love of pete, I'm ONLY ON DAY ONE.

Granted, day one of said writing challenge happened to coincide with the final day of Nutcracker chaos.  For any of you who have been alongside or been through the "Nutcracker Years..."
You TOTALLY get it.
For the rest of you, suffice it to say that it's 90 miles an hour with your hair on fire, while you're juggling flaming bottles of hairspray, glitter and hot glue, smelly costumes, multiple pairs of rancid dance shoes, crowns and crazy headpieces...
I was wearing a TOOLBELT, for crying out loud.  It might have been loaded with bobby pins, hairspray, red lipstick, safety pins, bandaids, headpieces and a headlamp, but a TOOLBELT always makes a mama feel like a rocking superhero.  
And I really needed to feel like a superhero.
Because when you spend copious amounts of mental energy feeling like you've somehow failed because you have dead kids and your living ones are heartbroken, you NEED to feel like you aren't failing sometimes.
And I didn't feel like I failed this time.
I felt...
Good.
Like maybe, just maybe, I AM a good mama.
And, Jesus knows, I NEEDED to feel that way.  I NEEDED to know that I'm doing all I can for my babies, to help them heal, help them grow and lead them-
every single day-
right back to Him.
I pray that who I am and how I love them shows them what Christlike love truly is.  What it means to set all your own crap aside and love your kids-
FIRST.
ALWAYS.
UNCONDITIONALLY.

Christlike love was all over the place this weekend in our little world.
Precious and thoughtful gifts to remember my sweet Mercy from other mamas.
Hugs and whispered words of encouragement.
Unexpected Sammy memories shared-and, I really needed that!
The gift of friends who aren't simply friends, but family, who took the time to come out and love on my sweet girl and all of us with their presence.  

This mama is once again-
so. very. blessed.

love,
clan mac mama