Manna-

the Word.  The Holy, precious, life-giving and soul healing Word of God. 

It's my manna.
It's the blood pumping through my veins, the air I breathe, the song in my heart.

I answered a question today.
Why do we Praise & Worship Him?  Him who sits on the throne, our great Redeemer, our sovereign Lord, our precious Prince of Peace?
For me, the answer was simple.
Because I have to.
Not to get to Heaven, or simply avoid the hot seat fires of Hades, but because deep in the pit of my soul, I HAVE TO.

It started when I was about 8.  Life was not an easy road for Sam & me back then, our family was taking a heartbreaking journey.  And I was scared, sad and I felt so alone.
And then I didn't.  From some hollow buried deep in my heart, I felt a presence fill me and gently nudge me.
Pray.
Ask.
GIVE. IT. UP.

So I did.
And that GREAT BIG GOD answered a little girl's prayer.
A prayer she prayed every night, without fail for 2 years.
And that heartbreaking journey?
It ended with a new home, a new brother and a little girl convinced.

I wish it ended there.  I wish the heartbreak never came back.
But it did.
Over and over and over again...in lost innocence, shattered relationships, broken dreams and, finally- the soul shattering screams of an anguished mother clutched in the agony of grief.

In it all, the manna has always been there.  Precious words that have the ability to fill my soul and nourish me just when I'm nearly dying in the throes of spiritual starvation.  

I've been starving, my friends.  STARVING.  

Nothing, it seemed, could penetrate the fog filling my heart, my soul and my mind.
Until today.
Witnessing the love of Christ in a room full of broken hearts, love that came together and multiplied HIS manna into enough to feed us all.

And a precious reminder of my own need to Just Be Held...
For my broken heart to be covered with an oil of gladness that only His Word and Holy Presence can provide.
Folks-it's a journey.  Life...A roller coaster ride through the heights of Heaven and the depths of Hades.   For me-as my husband loves to say, I'm like a ping-pong ball on a bungee cord.  And it's not going to get any easier any time soon.  I will miss my children with every fiber of my mommy heart until the day I am blessed to be called into the radiant and glorious presence of my Savior.

So until then, til all is made new and the shards of my heart are mended...

I will sustain myself with His manna-

Then he said to me, "Son of man, eat this scroll I am giving you and fill your stomach with it."  So I ate it, and it tasted as sweet as honey in my mouth.
                                                   Ezekiel 3:3

Honor Him with my life- 

...choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him.  For the Lord is your life...
                                                   Deuteronomy 30:20


Will you?
As a wise woman I know and love would say-
The choice is yours and the choice is mine.  
love,
clan mac mama