Love notes from God-

My mailbox is a little like a heavenly jack-in-the-box.  Every so often, I pop the handle open and out falls out a card, a letter, a little package...
always when my heart seems to be bleak and barren, my soul dry, sorrow spilling and bubbling over...
I get a love note.  
A little blessing. 
A whisper in the wind of sadness that reminds me they are not forgotten.  That I am not forgotten.  That we, The Clan McCawley as we once were, we are not forgotten.  

I'm going to let you in on my secret and share them with you.  

Because in the agonizing absence of my ability to share my heart with you, the only thing I know, with absolute certainty, is that I must do THIS-
-share the hearts of those who have listened to the whispers of that still small voice...
and, once again, blessed our broken hearts.

My childhood friend shared these words from her spirit to mine, piercing right into the heart of my pain-reminding me of the bonds Our Lord created in our family, linking our souls and spirits forever-

those bonds can never be broken. 

And so I will speak their names. 

Always.

Remembering, waiting, hoping. 

Because it does, 

too often-almost always, really-

feel as though they are fading like a weathered photograph:  

~clarity blurring, lines softening, shadows growing~

until all you see is the shadow of what once was.  And although I will never again laugh or smile with the freedom of an unbroken heart; if I am still. quiet.  at rest.  in my soul...

I do still see them.  

Tugging on my hand.

Breathing kisses into my cheek.

Spinning, spinning, spinning

.................love, unconditional and God breathed love, into our hearts and our home........................  

Because He gave them to us anyway.  Knowing and seeing the end from the beginning;

He blessed us with them anyway. 

Because I know that His love is poured out onto our fractured souls through the love notes He prompts others to send.  And by that love, our wounds are bound when they need it most, when the scab has been torn away and the bleeding is profuse, by that love, we are held.

I'm sharing my secret with you because it's NOT meant to be a secret-
it's the swan song of a loving forever, loving always, loving perfect, gracious and eternal source of all the love in the world.  

Who gave them to us and let us love them...anyway.

I have loved you with an everlasting love, 

I have drawn you with unfailing kindness

I will build you up again...

Jeremiah 31:3-4a

I love you every day, always and forever~
Eva
Charley
Mercy 
Max 
and Sammy.  
All of you, with all that I am.  

Love, 
Clan Mac Mama