Where have all the babies gone....

?
In one week, just one, from today...Tank will be 1 year old. ONE. He will officially cross over to the not-so-snuggly, don't need you as much, too busy to hug you, too busy to sit in your lap, almost toddling stage. And that's it. 8 years of babies, 3 in 2 years and I'm finally a woman with no babies.
WHAT?
I am not so sure about this. I mean I'm SURE I am NOT EVER going to want to give birth again, have big leaky boobs again, be big and unwieldy again and be up half the night again. But, I'm not sure how to be a Mama with no snuggly little blobs of love.
Oh, I know. I can sleep all night. I can occasionally venture out with all 5. If I want a real treat, I try to hit Sam's Club and Walmart on the same shopping day with the Fire Team and Spare (Tank.) It's always an adventure...punctuated by "are those all YOUR children?" "Wow, you are blessed!" "Um, do you know how this happens?" Yup, to all of the above. Oh, and lest I forget..."wow, you sure are brave." Nope, just a glutton for lots of love.
I realized something lately. I haven't been a whole lot of fun for a really long time. Instead of embracing this life God has chosen for me, I've been fighting it. TOOTH AND NAIL. Mostly just like an irritated horse surrounded by buzzing flies, I've been randomly swiping at my life. I'd venture to say I was a Hostile Homeschooling Harpie.
Well, in the words of my esteemed pal Sara, God has had a little convo with me, during which He informed me He is not pleased with my hostility. And, well, He's right. SO. In her footsteps I follow, telling the Hostile Homeschooling Harpie to take a Hike, to be replaced by Zen Master Cool Homeschooler Extroardinaire.
As I embark on this journey of calm in the face of all things Crazy Clan Mac, wish me peace and a quiet voice... I find that the little dervishes actually listen a little better when I whisper their proposed exile/punishment. Well, that and I'm just tired of yelling over the din. Chaos be gone. Or if it insists on staying, stay out of my way! I'm on a Zen mission.

Breathing deeply and surrounded by zen-ness,
Clan Mac Mama
p.s. No, my blog was not hijacked by Angi. :-)