Mondays just suck.

Well...mostly.  I would venture to say that I am waxing a bit pessimistic at the moment.  Having to replace the head of your oldest child's American Girl doll to the tune of FORTY dollars, plus shipping, because your middle child just has NO boundaries...
I did not yell.
I did not berate.
I did have to send said middle child to the spare room ALONE for about an hour so I wouldn't yell, berate or otherwise act like a really p*ssed off mama.
I did have to realize that this was probably my fault.  I was just stupid enough to believe that she would actually rest when I told her to and NOT get out of bed and wreak havoc on her older sister's room.  Mind you, she is in Eva's room because I can't let her & Max rest together anymore because THE WONDER TWINS just cannot SHUT UP during quiet time.  So separate them, I must.
Now, the optimist is just screaming that I must post the following...

We finished school today... for all 4 schooled children.  We painted, dot to dot marked, read, made letters, advertised a dog walking business, diagrammed sentences, parsed sentences, learned spelling rules, discussed peacemaking, laced beads, matched numbers, rhymed pictures, reviewed memory work,
My preschool child also made it to school on time, dressed, with a snack and with his picture form.  In the interim, I actually picked up and dropped off 2 MORE children to preschool, ON TIME.  (buy your lottery ticket now... this is a miracle moment...)
I sat in the grass and sucked down half a bottle of wine with my friends while my kids got filthy and my husband had some quiet time.
I wrapped up a fundraiser that raised a good chunk of change for our homeschool group.
My kids were ON TIME for all activities today.

Finally...I just woke up and realized I was in the TWILIGHT ZONE...

Seriously, when your pastor asks you to give him 2 day advance notice for when you plan to be on time for both life group and service, so as not to unduly surprise him during a busy sunday...I AM NOT KIDDING...you know you are epically late...

Well, maybe Mondays don't suck...

That is all.

clan mac mama

Sam's soft little hand...

caresses the side of my face...
His sweet voice declares, "I love you too!"
His gentle little fingers run through my hair...
We rock, to and fro, to and fro...
And I cry.

Mercy's quiet whisper..."Mommy, I'm never ever gonna wipe your kisses off..."
A soft whimper as she cries that she never wants to grow up...
"Mommy, I want to stay with you forever..."
We rock, to and fro, to and fro...
And I cry.

Softly falling grains of sand, slipping through my fingers.
Every moment, every thought, I beg of it to linger.
The sweetness of the end of day,
to recall it all, I pray and pray.
Early morning sleepy boys,
Quietly playing with their toys.
Morning light surrounding each,
For my hand I wish they'd reach.
To feel their velvet baby skin,
And snuggle them gently once again.

"Mommy, you sing to me?"
"Mommy, you rock?"

Tick, tock, tick, tock speeds that clock.

Hold me tight and don't let go,
far too quick, too soon you'll grow.

Softly falling grains of sand, you are slipping through my fingers...
the imprints of my five sweet loves on my heart will linger.

And I cry.

love,
clan mac mama

 

Homeschool Mondays are like a box of chocolates...

you just never know what you're gonna get.  (Picture me, half a bubble off, slowly drawling this out while sucking wine out of my sippy cup with a straw, shoveling in said chocolate and covered in dry erase marker...)

So, the day started innocently enough...  Up at 5 to work out, (mid workout, my little men decide to visit with me and question me EVERY FIVE SECONDS while I am STANDING ON A 14 INCH STEP HOLDING WEIGHTS...) devotions with the hubby & kids, off to pre-school with the little man, patting myself on the back as I pull into the church parking lot an entire FIVE MINUTES EARLY.   (And I haven't forgotten any of the kids today.)  Anyone who has known me for even 5 minutes is aware that FIVE MINUTES EARLY for me is the equivalent of some people achieving the goal of writing a dissertation and receiving a Ph.D.  Seriously.
The many mini Macs unbuckle and begin popping out of the rockin' mom van I drive...(just making sure you understand how NOT COOL I am...) to walk Sammy into school.  As he pops out and lands squarely in the parking lot, I am suddenly aware that he is wearing, *gasp,* FLIP FLOPS!  This is a serious pre-school NO NO.  In addition, I am fully aware that if he does not wear himself out on the playground during school, my big beans will not have math during nap time, as there will be no nap time...thereby causing a loss of essential math skills/mommy sanity, and exponentially increasing my wine intake for the later part of the day, which is NOT in the budget and for which I am NOT prepared.  (I've had a few too many napless days lately, so my wine stores are depleted and my kids are getting stupider.  Yep, that's a word.  I said so and I'm the teacher.)

LORI VINSKUS...are you dying from my ridiculously ranting run on sentence yet??????? bahahaha!

SO.  I determine that I am going to run home to get his shoes and drop them at school.  Meanwhile, I've somehow blamed Eva for the fact that Sam is wearing the wrong shoes, so she is ticked and pouting, I'm fuming and muttering, the littles are in the back YELLING at full volume, and Charley is attempting to discuss her playdate with the other Charlie and is asking me every bloody question under the sun in relation to said playdate.  ARGH!
Ah, but ding, ding!!!!!!  I realize that Sam actually has shoes in his backpack because his GENIUS MOTHER put them there last thursday in case his new shoes were too big.   Wow, I am just so awesome.  NOT.  If I had stopped being a terd to Eva long enough to take a breath, I might have realized this BEFORE I made my oldest feel like poo.    SO, needless to say, I called the school and informed them he actually did have shoes, they just had to switch them out.  Should be smooth sailing from here, huh?
Not.
Wondering what could possibly make my day go awry now???????
Well, just let me tell you.
NAPTIME.  Stupid NAPTIME.  Stupid, stupid, stupid naptime.
Actually, it's really my fault naptime is stupid.
I had the audacity to think that my youngest child should move into a toddler bed because he FINALLY uses the TOY-let and, well, he IS 3.  
This was a really stupid thought.  (No thesaurus used here.  Stupid is just the perfect word for this tale...)
It took all of about 3 days for him to figure out that he didn't HAVE to stay in the bloody bed when I put him down.  This has resulted in the now removed crib side being firmly BUNGEE corded to the toddler bed, thereby preventing the little terd from escaping.  Thereby also keeping me from going insane.
Well, the bungee process did not go well today.  I snapped the stupid cord, scratched the bed and couldn't remember for the life of me how to get the stinking thing done.  Once I finally did jury rig it, I got the other 2 laid down.  WELL, Miss Mercy doesn't really DO nap time.  She just tortures the crap out of me by getting up every 10 minutes or so, which is the equivalent of nails on a chalkboard to me...
Finally, little people decided to rest.  Ahhhh, this MUST be what heaven feels like!  Math gets *almost* done, so off we go to dance.
I have sent Charles to the commissary...so in the midst of all this, my phone is BLOWING UP with texts that query the location of the weird food items I must now eat on my annoying and weird diet of gluten and dairy free food...(this is NOT a choice, I mean, seriously, who chooses to NOT eat fried mushrooms or ice cream?????)
Dance goes well, I pick up Eva and we motor back home to have some outdoor play.  The littles commence fighting over the blue jeep, Charley checks out and starts riding her bike and Eva hops on her scooter....
Fast forward approximately 5 minutes...one scooter mishap later, my oldest bean is whimpering on the grass, holding her wrist, exclaiming, "Mommy, it hurts, it hurts!"
Mind you, my children scream at EVERYTHING.  It doesn't matter if it's a paper cut or a bat over the head (NERF BAT...,)  they are screamers.  Just a few days ago I had given the typical Mom lecture, you know the one.  It's when you tell them that one of these days they'll really be hurt and you won't be sure if you buy it...Well, I'm here to tell ya, when they are really hurt, you just know it.  My screamer was whimpering and I just knew that little wrist of hers had sustained some damage.
A flurry of phone calls to my fantastic friend and pediatrician later and we had come to the conclusion it was most likely broken.  Since we live in the midst of a huge marine base with an overabundance of people who use the ER as regular medical care *ugh,* we conclude that we are splinting and waiting for morning for x-rays and an ortho visit.
One set of x-rays, one buckle fracture, and one Carolina blue cast later....

 SO.  Like I said, homeschooling mondays are like a box of chocolates...you never know what you're gonna get!

love,
me (yep, stuffing my face with chocolate and sippin' my wine...)

A Beautiful Legacy...

3 weeks ago today, on what I though was just an ordinary day, I stood in Cathy's driveway.  Shaken to my core.  Shocked. Sick. Heartbroken.  The unthinkable had happened.  2 of my oldest friends, people who knew me "when...," one of whom stood with Charles and I as we swore our love forever, had just lost their sweet son.  Inexplicably, without warning.  The shockwave that tore through our tiny community was palpable and heavy.

Although the funeral weekend that followed was a blur, one thing stood out in my memory as I prayed for the Hansill family in the ensuing weeks...a video of Kyle teaching a class full of our SBA students about the Salvation we can find ONLY in the sacrifice that Christ made for us.   He had educated the kiddos in the most simple of terms, using stick people, a bridge and the cross.  That was the beauty of it.  Salvation in Christ is just, well, SO SIMPLE.  It doesn't require anything more than faith and acceptance of the ultimate sacrifice that was made so long ago.  

Today, on what I thought again was yet another completely normal, simply ordinary day... I sat in Eva's homeschool co-op class, absentmindedly watching presentations & whispering with the other moms.  As Jacob Caldwell was up for his turn at presentation, Kerry & I stopped chatting to watch.  My heart skipped a beat and we stared at one other in astonishment as it dawned upon us both what Jacob had chosen to share.

He was standing at the board, giving the lesson he had learned from Kyle.  He remembered it, word for word, picture for picture.  His sweet voice was clear, strong, and convicted.  When he finished, he turned, pointed to the 3 people (one fleeing God, one who knows God but doesn't pursue His love and one who accepts His gift of salvation) above the bridge that signifies Christ and said, "I only have one question for you? 

Which one are you?"  

Once Kerry had picked her jaw up off the floor and dried her tears...she exclaimed, "That was NOT what he had practiced!  It was not the story he was going to tell.  I had NO IDEA he was going to get up there and do that!"  (I think she repeated this at least 3 times...)  I was too busy sniffling and staring to even respond...

Today, that boy that loved the Lord with every ounce of his heart spoke through the heart of another boy.  His inspired actions proving once again, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the love of Our Lord is forever, eternal, and omnipotent.

That, my friends, is more than a beautiful legacy.  It's divine.

            love,

            me.

the death of me...

I swear, it's going to be Mercy.  There is a compelling reason God gave me that name for her.  It is because I need an arsenal of HIS GRACE & MERCY to keep her alive until she turns 18.  

That child.  

Seriously.  I could say just that and it should suffice.  All of you have raised/are raising/are related to (have disowned...) a sweet little thing like Miss Mercy.  

"Liar, liar, pants on fire."  Is it bad that I want to yell that at her at least 10x daily?  Probably.  If I was still Catholic, I'd probably hit confession for that one.  (Shoot, I was for 36 years, I can still confess, right?)   

"MERCY ELAINE MCCAWLEY..." followed by a barrage of questions in regards to the latest adventure she has embarked on that results in the demolition of my MAC make-up, the destruction of my beloved school whiteboard, the flurry of salt on the school room floor (mixed with glue...), the PERMANENT stamp ink on the floor/wall/her clothes, the defacement of my walls..furniture...schoolroom...YOU GET THE POINT.  

Oops, I should have named her IVY MARIE WETHERILL!!!!

Ha.  

2 peas in a pod.  

But, stink.  She is so sweet, precious, loving, complimentary, gracious and cute.  I just can't stay mad for longer than, say, 23 out of 24 hours.  So, that ONE hour that I'm not ready to jettison her to boarding school?  IT more than makes up for all the crazy that is my Mercy.  

Occasionally, I'll be so up to my eyeballs that I'll actually make her lie down for a nap.  (I do this knowing full well that she will be a pest when I put her to bed for the night, but I do it to SAVE HER LIFE.)  The other night, after she had napped, I was innocently watching brainless TV.  I hopped up to go borrow some milk from my neighbor and, as I turned to leave my room, I just about died.  There she was...a little statue, silent as stone, sitting in my doorway.  SCARED the stink out of me!!  

"MERCY ELAINE!," I hollered.  Then I picked that sweet little bean up, tucked her back in bed and changed my drawers, since I think I might have peed my pants...

I love that child.  

love, 

me

"Charley, Charley, Charley, CHARLEY...

look at that big, big cloud. It's SO BIG!  Charley, Charley, Charley....LOOK!" hollers Sam from his seat as we're backing in the driveway, heading in from bible study.  His arms pointing, his face alight with the thrill of discovery, unbridled enthusiasm in his voice.  My sweet baby is so grown up... *sad face...*
He potty trained himself in the last few days.  I didn't use a timer, I didn't have a party, I didn't do a single thing except bribe him a bit with M-n-M's and convince him that since he was wearing Scooby undies, he shouldn't poop on Scooby...
That conversation went a little like this...
Me: "So, Sammy.  Look!  Your underwear has Scooby on it!  I have a question...Would Scooby poop on you?"
Sam: "NO!"
Me: "Well then, you certainly shouldn't poop on Scooby then!  It would be really rude."
Sam:  shaking his head yes and looking very serious...
Me:  "Where do you put your poo poo?"
Sam: "In the toilet!!!" (pronounced emphatically...TOY-let!  love this kid...)
Me:  "Will you poop on Scooby?"
Sam:  "NO!"
Me:  "If you go the whole day without pooping on Scooby, I'll buy you a light saber!  And I'll buy Max one too so you can battle each other!"
Sam: "Mommy, I have my light saber now?"
Me: "Only if you don't poop on Scooby!"

End result?  One whole day of no pooping/peeing on Scooby which resulted in $40 spent on light sabers...
Today?  Scooby got pooped on.
I am laughing my butt off right now, since I was happily shopping alone at the commissary while my sweet, unsuspecting husband was trapped in the PX food court bathroom with our 2 sons, one who had pooped on Scooby and the other one who just has to poop in public.  (Flashback to yesterday when I was trapped in the Rack Room Shoes bathroom while both my boys AND MERCY had to poop.)

I am seriously not making this up.  I could not possibly make this up.

I really do love my life.  Especially now that it doesn't involve diapers...
Maybe it's time for #6 & 7?
I'm leaving the little years kicking and screaming, so if anyone would like to send me #6 & 7, please feel free to drop them off with a change of clothes and lots of little angel kisses.

I think I am officially insane.

Happy August! Enjoy the last moments of summer, they'll be gone in a flash!  Just like my little years.
*sad face*

love,
tiff

Homeschooling is...

a funny thing.
I know, I know.  I say lots of things are funny things.  Well, having 5 kids has robbed me of my ability to use a thesaurus correctly, and despite my year of teaching my child to write rather eloquently, I can't seem to find a better way to say it.  SO, Homeschooling really is a funny thing.  (Note the use of the capital H, indicating Homeschooling as proper noun.  As it should be, since I consider homeschooling to be a special, properly crazy thing to do...)
Well, let me begin again.  We are fixing to head into our 4th, (yes, I made it this far...) year of learning at home.  Ironically, it will be the first year I am teaching 4 students.  Yup, just like my family expansion, I am doubling my number of students...Does this mean I can double my wine consumption?  (Well, that's a given.  DUH.)
Having just wrapped up our 3 day practicum with our homeschooling group, Classical Conversations, I find myself in an unexpected place.
I actually didn't NEED this practicum to get motivated this year.
Huh?
Now, let me just preface this by saying that I am not going to write one of those irritating, "Oh my goodness, homeschooling is just the best thing ever and I am just so lucky to be doing this!!!" blogs that make most of us homeschooling harpies want to vomit.
Homeschooling is HARD!  Exhausting, overwhelming, frustrating, time consuming, expensive!
But...it's also pretty stinkin' wonderful.  I (mostly) love spending my days watching my kids learn the things that God designed them for.  I love watching the "lightbulb" go on when they get it.  I love the fact that Charles & I determine the rhythm of our days and the priorities of our lives.  Most of all, I love that I get to follow God's design for raising "arrows."
But, I'll be truthful here...it's taken me almost 4 years to get to the point that I don't need anyone to motivate me, I don't need to dissect the classical model into 800 little parts and I certainly don't need to understand the Quadrivium, (I'm still trying to figure out the bloody Trivium...) to get me all pumped up so I can survive another year.
I'm good.
We (Charles & I) do this because we feel called to!  And... I finally accepted the fact that because He called us to it, He is seeing us through it.  He has surrounded me (& my family) with an extroardinary community of Christian families who endeavor in the same way, for the same reason, to the same end.  We do this because we believe God has called us to.
We do this to raise our children to know God and make Him known.
And, finally, we believe that raising children to love to learn and have the tools to learn whatever God leads them to do is our greatest calling.
Somewhere along the way, in this slightly odd summer, I got it.
So, thank you, Classical Conversations, for your wonderful parent practicums and your amazing staff...but...
This time, I could have just gone to the beach.
And that, my friends, is the best feeling ever.

love,
tiff
p.s. disclaimer here...I love the CC practicums, I love the community, the wealth of knowledge we share, the time with my friends, the joy of a common goal & the time to refresh and recharge, I'm just super pumped that, for the first time ever, I was motivated anyway! HAHA!

Saving Samuel...

for her 7th birthday, Charley gave a gift I couldn't have fathomed in my worst dream...She saved her brother.
Indoor Pool.
Echoes of voices, din of shouting, steam rising.
Mommies chatting, kids playing.
Spiderman everywhere...
littles sitting on the steps.
Shouting!
"Mommy, Sammy is underwater!"
Charley, goggles on, gasping for breath as she pushes him up.
Tolly, pulling him out, flipping him over, making him breathe.
Sammy, pale, eyes glazed, lips blue.
Gasping.
I'm frozen.
I can't write the rest of it without dissolving into tears.  Suffice it to say this.  Charley saved her brother.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, God for giving her eyes to see and the wisdom to know what to do.  Thank you, Jesus, for saving my sweet baby boy.

Amen.

Spring Snow!

Mercy, in wonder at the snow pouring from the sky in late march at my parent's house.  :-)
"Nanny, the frost is coming down!"

Max, my caveman of few words... "I like the snow!".

Sammy..."Mommy, they put snow on your car!" 

He just took me out...

Apparently, I needed a TIME OUT.  

Well, I got one.  For a WEEK.  An entire week of sick.  An entire week to realize how little time I really spend WITH my kids.   This week I taught sewing, watched movies, played games, built Lego cars, assembled puzzles, read stories....

And I loved it.  Thank you, God.  This time out was....

Perfect.  

Now if you'd just take the cough away...I've got the point. :-). 

Outtakes from sick Mommy's Say Yes to the Dress Marathon...

prefacing this with...
I got SO sick over New Year's that I was actually in bed for almost a week.  THAT NEVER HAPPENS. EVER.  So, I coped by watching 8 million episodes of Say Yes to the Dress, which resulted in the following conversation...

Eva:  "Mommy, I know exactly what I want my dress to look like!  

No strap on one shoulder and a strap on the other with pretty, fluffy flowers on it.  Then I want the middle to fit me and then it will flare out here (pointing to her hips) into a BIG skirt." 

very cute, but following by this laughably disturbing exchange after I failed to notice the gaggle of male "bridesmen" accompanying a particular bride...

Eva:  "Mommy, what's a gay bar?  

Me: it's a place where people celebrate & are really happy!  

Finally...

Charley, piping up from her spot on the couch where she is ignoring the show and playing a music game on Eva's iPod:  I'm not wearing a dress when I get married!  

Me: are you going to wear jeans?  

Charley: no. 

Me: cargo pants?  

Charley: No.

Me: well, what ARE you going to wear?  

Charley: a tuxedo!  And I'm going to make alll the boys wear dresses!  

Meanwhile....max is snuggled in next to me taking this entire thing in....

They need to stay little.  For a long time.  

love, 

tiff 

Merry Christmas to all...

and to all a Happy New Year!

As per the usual, I was running a bit behind on cards this year, so I decided to forgo the killing of a tree and publish an online version of our Christmas letter....

SO.  It's been a busy year for the Clan Mac.  We ended a deployment with a happy reunion, traveled more times than I can count, surprised my big "lil" bro for his birthday, went to an amazing family camp, got Sam & Jim Ed hitched, hosted Thanksgiving for my family & had an amazing Christmas!  I'm sure I missed much in that little synopsis, but I only have so many operational brain cells during the week after Christmas... and here are the updates!

Charles has certainly ridden the proverbial roller coaster lately....after returning from deployment to a crazy house of excited kiddos, he returned to work at Camp LeJeune, only to be routed on over to Camp Johnson for most of the summer on a special audit project.  After returning to the regular disbursing office again, he decided it was finally time to hit the reset button on his education and finish up.  So, he became a full time student at University of Maryland once again, this time he'll be plowing through to the end since we have NO plans to add to our family again and we are NOT moving.  Yup, you heard it right.  For the first time in recorded history, the Clan Mac is going to be in one place for longer than 2 years and 11 months...(We did blow that record this year when we went over 3, but weren't sure we'd be staying past this summer.  Charles was blessed to be chosen to go the schoolhouse at Camp Johnson, where he'll be instructing.)  So, buy your lottery tickets, folks.  The universe has shifted and it's all up for grabs.  :-) 

Eva has matured in the sweetest of ways this last year.  Some of it was simply the passage of time and some was the (sad) result of being Mommy's big helper while Daddy was gone again.  It was a rough year for all of us & I don't know how I would have survived without my right hand gal.  She hit double digits in November (Mommy freaked out AND cried...,) started Essentials in our homeschool group (this is BIG, since it's an intensive writing/grammar class and is TOUGH,) performed 3 dances BEAUTIFULLY in the Nutcracker again and competed in her first Geo Bee.  She keeps busy reading constantly, singing, dancing, playing piano, enjoying her American Girls dolls, being a member of American Heritage Girls and homeschooling with all her heart.  We are a little awed every day at the young lady she is blossoming into and I'm excited (and terrified) of all the future holds for my oldest blessing.  

Charley....where to begin?  She went from reluctant kindergartner to almost 2nd grader in less than a year.  The inner workings of her brain are something I am awed by on a daily basis.  Her love of learning and all things mathematical and mysterious is quite fascinating.  She is not one bit girly (except for the dangly earrings she loves to wear...) and every BIT the tomboy.  Shirts and ties are the uniform of the day for all things formal, cargos and superhero T-shirts cover the rest of the occasions.  She lived for soccer in the fall and has already begun pestering me about spring soccer.  (I have avoided this question...I'm enjoying the lack of chaos for a bit.)  She loves playing piano and has picked it up quite quickly (alliteration there, my nerd friends...heehee)  She is also a scripture nerd... She LIVES to memorize her AWANA scripture and advance through her books.  It's so inspiring to have her ask to pray for our family, a wonderful habit she recently developed.  Underneath her tough exterior lies a heart of gold and the sweetest of intentions.  She is a little mommy to not only her siblings, but her best friend G, who is practically our 6th child.  (and she is the 3rd child to G's awesome mama.)  

Mercy, oh messy Mercy.  My little dirt magnet is the prissiest of my 3 girls.  She lives to be fancy, made up, styled, dressed to the nines and IN CHARGE.  Miss bossy pants has quite a mouth on her and often finds herself in hot water...She and her other half have developed some pretty sneaky signals and I often find myself terrified when I don't know what they are up to.  She is a complete and total fib telling queen and only tells the truth about 5% of the time.  I'm hoping she is getting it all out of her system NOW.  (If not, I'm going to need to be heavily medicated when she becomes a teenager.)  She adores dancing, school (for her this is our CC day, sunday school and story time,) her Nanny Leah, playdates with her pals, my iphone & ipad, and learning all the dances her big sis Eva choreographs for her performance.  The mannerisms that exude from sassy gal #3 are priceless...and way too grown up for such a tiny little person!  She talks from the time she gets up until she falls asleep and NEVER stops moving, shaking or twitching about...it's exhausting just to watch.  I think she stole ALL of my energy! 3 going on 30....I can't to see what year #4 and the beginning of "real" homeschooling holds for my lil' sassafrass.  

Max...Max...Max!  Superhero in disguise...Completely his father's child.  Happy alone or with his sibs, he is my early riser and breakfast buddy.  I cherish my sweet mornings with my lil' man.  Although...when he first started popping out of bed so early, he had a sneaky habit of relocating the candy and cereal to his closet!  His voice is amazingly cool and his accent on certain words just makes me melt.  (see previous post about  Maxism's...)  He is a carbon copy of my brother and interestingly enough, has many of the same idiosyncrasies...thanks for that, God.  LOL  He's regularly corrupted by his sneaky twin and it cracks me up to catch him in his little schemes...He's completely Type A, (sorry dude, you're stuck with that from Mommy,) extremely bright and incredibly sweet.  For him, the universe rocks when it's filled with legos, trains, superheroes, cars, transformers, books and his "hawk."  (slang term for his faux hawk hair style that is amazingly COOL.)  He too, loves "school" and I am excited to begin the learning journey with my oldest boy.  

Sam.  Wow.  That boy is ON FIRE.  He is such a little turkey.  Stares right at ya while he's breaking the rules and just grins, daring you to catch him.  And, oh boy, when he is caught... end of the world, melting, yelling, fit time.  It's just so lovely.  (not.)  He is every bit the big boy when he's playing with his sibs and every bit my baby boy when it's time to rock and snuggle before bed.  He is currently on a hunger strike unless he gets exactly what he wants to eat, so I'm not sure how he weighs 35 lbs and feels like he weighs 50.  I think Max might be sneaking him candy....He had a rough 3rd Thanksgiving when he knelt down on a fish hook and had a subsequent ambulance ride and removal of said impaled object.  He shocked both Charles and I with how well he did during the whole ordeal!  I think we were more traumatized than he was.  He is really not so little anymore....  :-(   And definitely not your typical youngest child.  He is very vocal, tough and well spoken.  His voice is so sweet and amazing...I love to listen to him chatter on.  This next year will be the end of an era for our family as our littlest man grows out of toddlerhood.  I'm excited...and a little sad!  

As for me?  Well, it's been one heck of a year.  I survived the deployment, year #2 of homeschooling, started year #3, traveled so much I'm determined to stay home (possibly without leaving my house... for a LONG time), grew a little wiser, discovered that I just might be able to dip my toe back into the world, and decided that it was time to slow things down just a little (or maybe A LOT.) Charles and I entered into this year of homeschooling with a firm belief in this calling for our family and a dedication that has helped change both the tone and the focus of our little one room schoolhouse.  We're in it for the long haul, folks.  And what a blessing this year has been.  I've come to the end of 2012 with a renewed awareness of God's all-encompassing presence in our lives, gratitude beyond words for my husband and children, thankfulness for friends who ARE family and joy in the fullness of my life. Beyond it all, I am thankful for the blessing of Christmas and the ultimate gift brought to earth from our Lord, His Son that we celebrate!

I thank each and every one of you for your friendship, love, and kindness throughout the years.  I hope this "letter" finds you and yours well!  Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!

With Love, 

Tiff  

  

The End...

piped up my Charley bean, just after the preacher had Sam & Jim Ed recite their vows, to the delight of the crowd gathered to celebrate with them...

Eva danced the night away with Rebecca...spinning, shaking and dancing tandem "Gundam Style" with Ivy (who stole the show with her dance moves!) 

Charley stole Daddy's tie, learned the particulars of pool from Uncle Markie, snacked on cupcakes, shook the second floor of Rosewood with Jake & Luke...

Ivy spoke sweet words to her Mom & new StepDad, Jim Ed...

I cried.  I laughed.  I smiled so much my face hurt.  And I was filled to the core with gratitude for the happiness that radiated from my sister & her darling husband on their amazing day.

And then I saw a picture of Charles and I dancing...and I knew with every fiber of my being that my sister and her husband have that something....that invisible tether...that permanence of love that God has blessed Charles and I with.  I know that no matter what, forever, she will love him as I love Charles.

Blessings, so many blessings.

& the jeep was staged in the middle of the road...

the miniature driver staring me down in a contest of wills as I creeped down the street....when all of sudden he jumped out of his vehicle, toddled to my truck, greeted me with his usual "Hi, Mommy!!) and then proceeded to instruct to "Wait, Mommy, I move it!" as he pushed the jeep out of the way for me to pass by...

Truly, it was one of those moments I wish I could replay over and over and over!   

Turning Double Digits...

silly little midgets...
chapter books...

fishhooks...

Eyeball head lullabies....

Charley spinning to the sky, 

Sammy giggling at his big sis, 

Mommy making a little wish. 

Memories, please stay sharp & clear...

so near...so dear...

Little girls spinning round and round,
Hark the Herald Angels Sing in the background.
Baby Jesus held so high,
sweet little voices singing nigh ...

Goodnight Moon and Twinkle Star,
Reading with Mommy, repeating every word
Mommy, I turn the page?
Mommy, see that balloon?
Mommy, the balloon all gone!

Twinkle, Twinkle little star,
you are my bright and shining star.
Alight in your sweet voice,
spark is your favorite word of choice.

Tonight you tended to your own sweet baby.
A tiny lollipop you carried in your hand.
I asked your baby's name,
you looked at me so matter of factly and just said, "baby!"
I asked you if we could give your baby a name and you said "ok!"
I queried, "Can we call him Jasper?"
"Ok," was your reply.
Just when I thought you couldn't melt my heart any more, you handed me your baby's lollipop, pulled your toy phone from your back pocket, told your baby to "call Jasper, baby!" and held the phone to your baby's ear.
Mommy's sweet Sam...snuggly love, baby boy, don't grow up yet.

MOM, there is NO NOTHING in there!

...and other "Maxisms"

MOM!  You wipe my butt?! (Grover voice...)

MOM!  I don't like that shirt, it has buttons on it!  (whiney voice, not cute!)

MOM!  I HAVE TO GO POTTY! (Grover voice with urgency, similar to Grover when he is attempting to be Super Grover and fly, which never turns out well...)

MOM!  I watch a tiny movie?  (said while showing me tiny with his fingers...exactly what is a tiny movie?  Do you watch it on a tiny screen?  I'm pretty sure it's Max's way of convincing me that it's not a big deal to watch TV AGAIN.)

MOM!  (note all quotes begin with MOM, because he never just says, Hey Mom, Can I ....It's MOM with an exclamation point and Grover voice...)
You come over HERE! (here said just like King of the Hill or some other southern cartoon character I can't understand without a southern dictionary...)

Suffice it to say...I love listening to his sweet and amazing voice, I shed a little tear every time his voice gets a little more grown up and his grammar gets a little better...
Love my lil' southern gentleman!

I think I'll remember, but really...

I'll have to read this blog...

 to envision my sweet Charley all nestled in her bed, gloves on & glowing brightly red, sound asleep while the room around is lit in shadows from those crazy..glowing..skeleton gloves she so proudly conned her Dad into today.

 to remember the site of my oldest child all nestled in her bed, still such a little one at heart...

 to recall how much Sam LOVES his blue bear, how he must have him to go to sleep and how he insists we rock and sing "Happy" (Twinkle, Twinkle...) every night before bed....

to realize that one day my twins just grew up and grew out of those cribs and into big kid beds with "NO SIDES, MOM!"  (This was a direct result of the fact that they jumped in their cribs so much, so often and so hard that they actually BROKE them...)  and that Mercy looks deceptively sweet and laid back (and quiet...since that child talks from the time she gets up until she passes out at night...) while she snoozes on her double pillow pets with her mimi right where she might need it.

And to laugh as I remember how Max must sleep with the full compliment of animals, pillow pet, blankets and blue dog..."Mom, there is not enough animals...(spoken in the Grover voice, which just so happens to be my FAVE Sesame Street Character, so the fact that my sweet boy talks just like him completely ROCKS!)

But mostly, I'll just want to remember how softly they would breathe, how sweetly they would snuggle,  and how I love them so much my heart bursts a little every time I see them sleeping...innocent and precious, just the way God created them & gave them to me.  (Oh, and Charles...LOL)

Sweet dreams...
Tiff

Give me a KISS!!!

LOOK AT THAT FACE!!! 

said the owner of that ADORABLE face, as he tried to rip my pants down tonight getting my attention...

apparently things are so loud and crazy here in clan mac land that my youngest little bean felt it necessary to display his affection loudly and with enthusiasm, thus ensuring his spot as favorite youngest child.  (each of my kids is my favorite at least once a day...depends on who gives me the most kisses or snuggles!)  

THAT Sam...what can I possibly say about him that might give you just the slightest glimpse into the miasma of personality that is my youngest son?  

Hmmm.  

Most importantly, he LOVES TO LOVE....gives mucho kisses, over and over, snuggles with big hugs and ADORES playing with my face.  

At my Mom's last week, he "melted" into the wall in a fit of wailing because I wouldn't let him go out by the pool by himself.  I almost peed myself laughing.  

Right before that, when my good friend T stopped by to pick up her daughter, his utterance of an 8 word sentence (EIGHT WORDS....he's TWO..."Mommy, I want water with ice in it.") prompted her to count the words and proclaim her astonishment.   (She is his pediatrician, so that actually means a lot!)  That time, I was so proud, I had permagrin.  

He can utter 8 word sentences, but really just screams his head off like any good 2 year old would whenever he is not receiving things in a timely fashion, is given food he does not prefer, is overlooked for affection or cannot have his way with a toy/truck/ball/etc....This happens about every 5 minutes or so...I'm being fitted for hearing aids next week.  

He is a BULLY and really enjoys aggravating the poop out of his brother, which he then alternates with giving Max hugs and love.  (And he wonders why Max is NOT super enthused about hanging out with him most of the time...)

His favorite food at the moment is... OATMOLE! (Oatmeal for those of you who don't speak Sam.)  Which is closely seconded by chocolate, as was evidenced by the screaming tantrum he threw tonight when I told him the M-n-M's were all gone.  Thankfully, the glass on my pantry door is pretty toddler-proof... 

He is built like a brick house and carrying him around is tantamount to lugging a sack of potatoes that refuses to support it's own weight.  I'm beginning to list to one side, which will only serve to make me even shorter.  (Yeah!  More short jokes from my family coming right up!)

Being a big boy is top on his list of priorities...he eats with silverware, wants to try out the potty, must brush teeth with his big sibs, LOVES to "read" books. and gets p*ssed when I make him use a sippy cup.  (And I mean P*SSED!)   

Although, when we are outside playing, he is happy to be the little brother and be chauffeured around the block in any of the fleet of toddler vehicles we have here on my street of 20 kids under 15.  (I'm not kidding....2 sets of twins 3 and under!)  I particularly love it when he is riding shotgun in the pink Barbie Corvette while Mercy is 4-wheeling it like a maniac.  (She actually makes it catch "wheel...")  

Ah...and the melodious odes to pour forth from his lips...He LOVES to sing!!  Baa Baa Black Sheep, Happy Birthday to You (which he sings as Happy to you!), Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star!  The sweetest little notes are his voice!

Finally....he occasionally gives me a Mommy melt when he lets me rock and sing to him.  That little ANGEL let me do it today.  And when Mama didn't feel good, that was the cure I needed.  

Ah, my sweet Sam Sam....

tho' you're a bit like Bam Bam,  

inside you're all squishy...

you love to give a kisseee,

2 years have whizzed by...

in the blink of an eye, 

no longer my wee one...

your baby years are done,

alas, in my heart you'll always be....

my tiny baby bee, 

for now and for always...

for the rest of my days.  

Happy 2 years to you... 

my sweet bugaboo, 

don't grow up to fast...

Mommy prays this time to last, 

In your words, my little love....HAPPY TO YOU!!!!  HAPPY TO YOU!!! 

Love you forever...

Mama

A sweet birthday...

of cookies &; fire trucks...

chick-fil-a...

fries...

crazy play with wonderful friends...

toys-r-us and legos...

out of this world cookies at barnes and noble....

trains...

books...

animal crackers...

veggies tales...

cereal for dinner...

snuggles with sibs!

of love...

laughter...

My M-n-M's singing Happy Birthday to each other...swapping birthday kisses and hugs...

Me...remembering the moment we brought them into this world and being Thankful, so Thankful....that God trusted us with them.

Happy 3rd Birthday Max &; Mercy...

Love,
Mama & Daddy

Max...

Mom, let me do it!

Mom, I GO POOP!

Mom, I farted.

Mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Look at me, Mom!

I want my jammies!

Dude.  You ROCK! 

Love, 

Mama