television sucks my brain dry...

Actually, I think it's my kids that do that, so that by the end of the day, all the energy I have left is the ability to use my right index finger for channel flipping and my left hand for drinking a glass of wine or eating chocolate or some other evil little snack that will go straight to my... whatever. So it all starts innocently. I'm tired, so I figure I'll watch a little boob tube while I fold laundry, clean up my room or just SIT for one minute. Well, one minute bleeds into the next and the next and the next, until I find myself watching discovery health about 8 foot tall people or 2 foot tall people or people who are 2 foot tall and give birth or babies born without stuff or with extra stuff. Well you get the point. Or I could end up cheering those crazy people who think American Gladiators is a worthwhile life goal or the lucky people on deal or no deal who ALWAYS manage to screw up a good thing. The point is...
I'm wasting too much time glued to the idiot box. Just about every day, I check the blogs of my friends. I'm always amazed that Lucia and Michelle (the busiest human working mom on the planet) manage to post almost daily. I think I've figured out why. Either they are doing illegal drugs, they've cloned themselves OR the real reason... they don't tune in to tune out at night! I used to only turn on the TV for my fave shows. Well, this stupid writer's strike left me adrift and show-less. SO, I spend my time now surfing for replacements, which leads to the discovery health thing, which leads a lot of freaking out about getting pregnant again or searching the internet to see if I'm really a dwarf or have some strange and rare condition that will cause me to turn blue and grow a third eye... to WASTED time!
What, you ask, do I wish to do with this time? Sew, read, take a bath, talk to my hubby, talk to my friends, POST on this blog! Anything.
Well, what to do? I SUPPOSE, I'll just turn the damn thing off. I might need moral support. I might need medication. Or I might just really enjoy the quiet.
TV... is evil.
(Unless it's showing Desperate Housewives or Lost or Survivor.) Crap, this is going to be hard.
HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tiff
p.s. Happy Valentine's Day. I did manage to turn off the boob tube long enough to make THOSE dresses.

Fighting fire with...

GARTH BROOKS!
As most of you are aware, we had a heck of a fire season here. Along with many others, we were evacuated when the fires began threatening our homes. The Horno Fire came within a few miles of us and was a frightening site for several days. Leaving our home in the middle of night, fire on the horizon, smoke in the air and ashes raining from the sky, was one of the most frightening and sad events in my life. As a military family, I believe our possessions hold even more value to our hearts than the average family. We don't have a home base, a structure to call our own, so we make each place we land our home. We do so with the physical reminders of our unique lives and our travels and homes over the U.S. and the world. While I am the first one to purge the unnecessary from my home, I am also the champion of the sentimental. I've left behind family, friends, beloved pets, the homes I brought my babies to for the first time, the church I married in, the beloved island that brought me the best 3 years of my life. In each sentimental object, I find a memory. Whether it be love, laughter, sorrow, joy, or any other emotion, the memories triggered are the tapestry of our life.
When the evacuation became a reality, I frantically darted in and out of the rooms of this home, desperately trying to decide what really mattered to me. Was it pictures? The teddy bear my mother painted when pregnant with me? The crucifixes given to my children for their baptism? My baby book? Grandma Eva's artwork? Books that changed my life? The teddy bear I slept with until the fur was gone and the stuffing has fallen out? Letters from old friends?
As we departed our home for what could be the last time, backlit by the orange haze on the ridgeline behind our homes, it felt as thought I left behind parts of the soul of my family. Had we brought the most important things? I'm sure some of you are scoffing at this internal debate, thinking, "it's only stuff! The most important thing is that you were safe!" And, you know what? You're right. That was the most important thing. But the second most important thing to me is the place I wake up to each day and lay my head to rest each night.
It's the place I raise my children, love my husband and cherish my friends. And without all that stuff, I didn't know how I would make a home, remember the days past and create a haven for the days of the future. I still don't know, but what I do know is that God was watching over so many of us during that dismal week. We were safe, our homes were saved and life moved on. God was watching and the firefighters were channeling his power to find the strength and perseverance to keep fighting til victory was theirs. And theirs it was.
So where, you ask, does Garth Brooks fit into all this?
With one hell of a benefit concert (actually 5 of them in 3 days!) with all proceeds benefiting the Fire Intervention Relief Effort. Click here to donate or read about it...
http://www.rrmtf.org/2008firerelief/default.aspx
Thanks to my MOST fabulous Uncle Ted and Aunt Deb, we were lucky enough to see this amazing tribute and benefit. And I took a picture just before the concert of all of us. It's another memory to add to add to my tapestry, something else I'd grab just before the next fire, flood, hurricane, typhoon, earthquake...

Thanks for the memories, all of you. I hope they forever live in my mind, my house, my boxes, on my walls and in each of you.
And a huge thanks to Aunt Deb, Uncle Ted & Becca for making this new place feel so much like home with your love, your open arms, your laughter and just being you. We love you all so much.
Sentimentally!
Tiff

Straight Stitches!

Eva's first sewing stitches!

Look at those straight lines!

So proud!

I was learning how to sew straight stitches with my Mom today. First my Mom showed me, then I did it by myself. First, I'm going to hand sew, then I'm going to sew with my sewing machine I got for Christmas from Aunt Sammy & co.
Good Bye,
Eva

MUSICAL MAYHEM...

ensued today at my Kindermusik Demo class. HOLY macaroni, the tidy bowl man leapt out of the damn toilet and grabbed my damn karma. UGH. It goes like so...
I finally get my contract with MCCS done to teach the community center.
My 20% doesn't get me much advertising, so I paper the ENTIRE housing area with fliers (1000 homes or so.)
I get not ONE measly phone call or email. UGH.
I forge ahead with my demo class because I am stubborn.
Last night, after 4 hours of searching, my Kindermusik instruments are NOWHERE to be found.
Well, can you say OH SHIT?
So, after a sleepless night, I forge ahead with the bloody demo.
At 10 am, as the 20 or so people are settling in (out of 1000 freaking families), I realize that this room I am in is an acoustical NIGHTMARE and every teeny, tiny, itty bitty sound anyone makes is amplified by like an INFINITE number of decibels. For the love of pete.
SO the chaos reigned, checkered by a few teachable moments and about 2 quiet minutes of You are My Sunshine. That was quite possibly the LONGEST 40 minutes of my teaching career. Which really stinks because I don't think the parents had any idea how a real class goes. Since a real class is usually only slightly definingly loud. and this was SO LOUD. Think Metallica concert.
Oh, happy day.
On a happier (really) note... an old friendship is on the mend. yay!

Musically deaf now,
tiff

Bad, Bad Blogger!

Ok, so here it is in a nutshell. The holidays & household projects kicked my butt, so blogging got shoved under the keyboard for a while. BUT, I'm back. I'll spare you the gory details of the last few months and let the pictures tell our story... (up to Turkey day, Christmas deserves it's own post!) Love & Happy New Year to all...


Charley analyzing her gymnastics class while
showing off her adorably fat little belly and legs!

Giving Thanks for our MANY blessings at Eva's Turkey Day Celebration

Hangin' with Uncle Ted, the ultimate 'Skins fan!

Turkey Day Fun at Aunt Deb & Uncle Ted's
Rebecca is the BEST cousin!

Charley declaring her Green Bay Packer love
to get in good with Aunt Deb, the ultimate Green
Bay FREAK!

Birthday Madness!!! Disco Days was our theme, slabs of ice cream cake our big dream!

Clan Mac Carving Madness!!

A sweet kitty and magical Pumpkin Fairy
(yes I made those costumes. YEAH, man!)

That's my clan with me dressed as California Barbie. LOL

Charley really trick or treatin'! My little chocoholic.

Tag, I'm it.

Okay, so thanks to Aimee & Michelle, here are 7 things you never wanted to know about me.

1. I have terrible stage fright and still don't believe other people really want to hear me sing.

2. I have a compulsion to write my own greeting cards and party invites. It tends to sound a lot like Dr. Seuss after a bottle of wine.

3. Unless I live within 30 miles of you, your present/card will be late, regardless of the type of holiday or whether or not I knew about it way in advance.

4. Seasons are essential for my happiness. Lately, I've taken to likening cloudy cool days to winter and I get really peeved when the sun does come out!

5. I secretly want to nominate myself for what not to wear so I can get a new wardrobe.

6. You all know this already: I am WAY too organized and OCD. However, my time management skills TOTALLY stink. So I'm organized, but always late. UGH.

7. I am an extremely loyal friend who tends to get crapped on because I'll stand up to a rude macy's clerk, but won't stand up for myself with friends because I don't like confrontation with people I care about.

AND...a bonus #8
I secretly wish (about 50%) of the time that I'd stayed in the Marine Corps. I guess it's true what they say, Once a Marine, Always a Marine.

AND, Angie, TAG YOU'RE IT. (This might be the closest we ever get to talking, since my timing for calling stinks and you probably can't find the phone, what with all the paraphanalia from your hundred kids covering your house.)

Semper Fi!
Love to all,
Tiff

A weekend without...

organizing, picture hanging, cleaning, purging, rearranging, shopping or ANYTHING ELSE move-in related. A month or so ago, I signed myself up for a Pampered Chef party, so the 4 days preceeding this momentous event were spent in a whirlwind of activity as I attempted to clear out the chaos and make my home look presentable. Needless to say, I have never been so happy to be at week's end. The party was a success, the food was great, my house is FINALLY almost done and I spent my weekend socializing, attending a winefest with the spousal unit, attending a birthday/welcome home party, sitting around a firepit with new friends AND best of all... sitting on my BUTT!!

The Mac Chicks just bustin' out of the egg!
The look on Eva's face as Charley nails her one to get ahead
pretty much sums up my life these days.


So, you ask, what is new with the clan mac? Where, oh where to begin. Amidst the chaos of settling in, many new adventures have come our way. Evie has settled in to her new school, wishing she could attend every day. Her teachers are amazing. They are so clearly enamored of these sweet children and their obvious joy in their work is inspiring. I've been inspired to look for new ways to make my home and our life more adventurous for my mini macs. I hope this only leads to tons of fun & lots of field trips for our clan.

Speaking of, we took one last week to my childhood home of Santa Ana. Just a short 35 minutes north of here lies the elementary school where I learned my ABC's, the church where I took my first communion, the home whose address I still remember. What a sweet adventure it turned out to be.

Me & My gals at my elementary school!

Eva in my childhood church

Eva's 1st trip to Chuck E. Cheese

I won mother of the year for that treat!

Evie is back into gymnastics & loving every minute. Last week, she also informed me she would like to take up tennis and disco dancing. Move over, John Travolta, Evie Mac is on her way! In the midst of these discussions regarding new interests, she also decided that a DISCO party is the way to ring in year #5. I am SO excited! You know I'm trying to figure out how to make a disco ball cake. Any ideas?
Every day, she is bursting with excitement to work on letters, numbers and aw, crap, worksheets.
Many of you know I feel like worksheets are the bane of american education, but my little sponge loves the accomplishment of completion & being right!! She discovered a packet from last school year and zipped through all 20 or so of the sheets in like a day. oy, i am in for it. It is so invigorating to see her so curious and ready to absorb everything around her. She is VERY interested in learning to read, so we are planning to focus more time on that goal very soon. Although, I'm not sure how I'll communicate with other adults if I can't spell stuff "over" her head.

Oh, and Charley. What can I say about Charley? That child is a trip. Half the time her hair is stuck to her face with her boogers. The other half, she looks like a little oompa loompa with her water spout hair, curls over her ears, teetering around the house on her fat little tree stump legs. Her newest form of communication is the point, yell and grunt.
Never mind that she knows like 50 gazillion signs and can actually say quite a few words, including bellybutton (sounds like beh bah.) I think she just likes to yell. And you should see her get really mad. I love it when she makes this super mad face in the mirror, yells at herself, then grinds her little face into the mirror while baring her teeth. I have got to get this on video. It is SO funny I can't even take her seriously when she does it. As a matter of fact, she is so crazy, I don't think I'll ever take her seriously. Guess she takes after me, huh?
Enjoy the pics!
Love to all!
Tiff & co.
p.s. yes, we were evacuated. it stunk. watching the hillside behind my house burn was a BIT nerve-wracking. I thank God every day since that we were blessed enough to be able to return home. Thanks for all the well wishes and prayers!

My Mom...

Nana with her munchkins
THIS is your legacy. Be proud! We are!

is the BEST mom. Today is her birthday, so I celebrate her with...

an ODE.



when i was very tiny

you wiped my hiney.



when i grew grew to your knees

you made me eat my peas.



when i reached your hip

you wouldn't take my lip!



when i reached your waist

you taught me to cook, post haste.



when i reached your rib

you taught me to be glib!



when i reached your shoulder

you wished i would never get older.



when i looked you in the eye

you taught me to reach for the sky!



now i'm so much older

a mother now myself.

i spend my days with little me's

making them eat their peas.

and everytime i look in their eyes,

it makes me heave a sigh.

to know the love you feel for me

and how hard it was to set me free.



you sang to me when i was small

you heard me sing as i grew tall.



you tucked me in and cracked the door

3 fingers open, not one bit more.



each night when my babes go to sleep

i pray the lord their souls to keep

i pray to thank him for MY mother

truly, she is unlike any other.

the blessings of your love run deep

i have them forever to keep.



i love you mom.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

PICS!!!

Ivy so grown up!

Eva modeling her improvised bikini

the clan mac and wetherill chicks carrying on the lewis tradition of swimming til you are pruned, even if it's dark!

kisses for aunt sammy!

swimming with papa (never without the bink, even in the pool!)

tickling the funnies with Nana

Good times & Great Friends!

Distance never dulls the love of a good friend :-)

Papa & JoJo puzzling out the pieces

Home again, home again, jiggety jog

I HAVE A HOME!!!! I have never in my life (boot camp, mos school excepted) lived so long without a place to call home. I cannot tell you the emotions that bubbled over when I finally got to walk into MY home. Granted, it looks like a tornado hit a toy store, a kitchen supply, a clothing boutique and a furniture store, then dumped it squarely in my new house. I've been digging my way out, one mess at a time, since I woke up on tuesday.
Saturday, September 1st
Well, it's now a week later and I'm still digging. I had made some pretty awesome progress until the movers finally arrived with my storage shipment. If I didn't need this stuff for 3 years, forgot what I had and am now just irritated with most of it, what was the point of storing it? AHA, this brings me to my "thought of the day..."
seriously. Americans have TOO MUCH CRAP. case in point: my garage is overrun with enough books to stock a library, an entire extra set of living room furniture, office furniture and countless boxes of stuff I am afraid to even open. and I am NOT even a pack rat (anymore.) I've learned one thing from my seemingly endless cycle of relocation...
ONLY keep it if:
it is functional for making your life easier
it makes you look like a BILLION bucks
you will fall apart if you no longer own it (this applies only to childhood memorabilia, inherited items & your kid's memorabilia)
aforementioned memorabilia needs to be kept to a REASONABLE level, i.e. a few things from each year for your kiddos and a few for you.
your spouse will divorce you if you chuck it (unless the single life is oddly appealing and you are sick of doing tons of laundry)

PURGE it if:
you have no idea what it is
you can't remember why you bought it to begin with
it creates a fire hazard

SELL it if:
you can retire on the proceeds of the sale OR
you are broke. (hmm, wonder where i got that thought, since i just spent enough money at target to feed my family for 2 months. donations can be mailed to... :-)

okay. so purge your crap, streamline your life and spend more time laughing, loving and living.
AND. don't be mad about stupid crap. life is too short.
hi ho, hi ho, it's off to drink wine i go. i'm all "sorted" out.
til tommorow, that is.

i promise to post pics next time.

luv to all
tiffers

love travels

i'm sitting in my parents kitchen, surrounded by my kids, my nieces, my mom & dad and a LOT of chaos. it is the best place to be. the only thing missing is the men. Charles, Terry and Markie. WE MISS YOU!
this time here has gone an awfully long way toward helping me learn to deal with the loss of my little one. i was doing fairly well until today. i spoke with my doctor today, who had the results of my genetic testing. i think it may have been easier if i had just blindly gone on thinking that something had to have been wrong for this to happen. turns out i was wrong. he was perfect, normal. i'm trying awfully hard to convince myself that it is beyond my control, that it is God's will, that I WILL get to have another baby. i guess i just need time.
my family has been amazingly loving, giving and helpful in this time. I cannot imagine life without their love and support. eva and charley have had a fantastic time, i have enjoyed every moment with them. i've been lucky enough to visit with my extended family as well as my friends from oki and from here. THANKS so much to angi, debbi & michelle for driving out to visit. my connection to each of you has not diminished one iota and i so miss you!
i've learned something else from this visit. life is not about what happens to you, it is about how you choose to live with it. every one of us has a moment or a situation that seems unbearable. just a few minutes ago, i had the thought that i just had to wake up soon, that this couldn't be my life. then i realized that i just have to be thankful, i have to be grateful, i have to appreciate each and every part of my life. the good and the bad. i have the 2 most amazing children and a husband so incredible i often wonder how on earth i could have landed him.
so i guess it all boils down to time. it's what i need to heal and what i need to realize my dream of more children. thanks to you all for your love, support, kind words and most of all, the gift of your time.
luv,
tiff

When will I...

stop waking up and wishing I was in Oki? stop waking up and wishing I didn't feel like I have to barf? Funny. I've been off island for 10 weeks now and I just keep thinking it's time to get back on the plane. Funny. I've been pregnant for 8 weeks now (wow, that long already?) and I just keep thinking it's time TO FEEL BETTER.
Battling bronchitis, moving blues and morning (all day, really) sickness is not my idea of a fun summer. Plus, it's bloody COLD here! I don't want to swim, I want a fire and a blanket.
Oh, boy. I'm really whining here, huh?
Okay, so bright spots. Annie & Tami are here! We basically spent the weekend at Mission Beach w/Annie & co. and all of her family. What a wonderfully lazy weekend. We haven't seen Tami & co yet, but are hopeful this week we'll work out some visiting.

More GIANT bright spots. Charley is standing! Albeit, only when she feels like it, but she is standing nonetheless. Oh & I'm not deaf yet from her shrieking, so that's always a bonus. THAT child has the LOUDEST, SHRILLEST, MOST OBNOXIOUS shriek on the planet. And I promise you, no matter what you are thinking, it is true. I have actually gotten a headache the last 2 days in the car from her SHRIEKING. And, truly, she saves it up for the car and restaurants. It's just lovely and so endearing. It's darn good she's really FREAKING cute.

Speaking of cute. Eva really just shines with adorable-ness when she isn't acting like a mini version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. We alternate our days with: "oh, mommy. you're my best friend. thanks for making me my favorite lunch and reading my stories." OR "i don't like this food. and you making me eat it is just MEAN. that's why i don't want to live in this family ANYMORE!" Seriously, she has been just great this weekend. I think seeing some familiar faces and having LOTS of beach time really helped. I know it helped me!

Evie started a short summer program at her school this past week & has loved it. Her teacher is just wonderful and has made Eva feel welcome and loved. I'm so blessed in that respect. She is TOTALLY on par with Bender and that is more than I could have hoped for. (Bender was Eva's beloved teacher her 1st year of pre-school.) It's been a nice pasttime for her (and me) as I wade my way through the 1st trimester, re-enroll in college, attempt to get moved into our place, plan more travel and adjust to life on the sunny (HAHA) coast.

Oy. It's totally late and my bean is making me tired, so off to dreamland I skip. More later.
Love to all.
Tiff +1

pics!!

Enjoy. More to follow soon!

My last class. Bittersweet. I miss my mini musicians!

Evie, Maggie & Sami at Abigail's Princess Extravaganza! What a great bash!

Eva, Maggie & Elisabeth with Miss Jennifer at their final Kindermusik Class. We miss you, everyone!

ROCK STAR BABY!!

Eva & Mrs. Emerson on Eva's last day at All Soul's

Happy 1st Birthday Charley Cupcake!

LOVE MY CAKE!!