the clan mccawley

A little help...

2012-01-14T17:58:00.000-08:00

goes a long, long, way when you are sick, exhausted and at your limit.

I've got no wit tonight, nothing profound. Just a simple...

Thank. You. Wonderful. Friends.

for an afternoon of much needed rest, quiet and an opportunity to just be.

God is so Good. Just so Good.

His gifts are many.

His love is endless.

And I am just so grateful.

Because he brought these people into my life. Those who helped me today, those who help me other days, those who lift me up, dry my tears, encourage me, love my children, cut up my trees, fix my fence, change my light bulbs, cart my kids around, bring me soup, eat dinner with me & my crazy clan...

and those who just listen with a willing and giving heart.

Thank you, each and every one of you.

You all know who you are.

My love goes out to each of you with a beholden heart.

love,

tiff

18 Years Ago Today, Part 2...

2012-01-01T11:55:00.000-08:00

Okay, so please don't expect a grand, eloquent blog post. I do not have a way with words like my beautiful wife. But when I logged on this morning after church and read her beautiful post, I just wanted to write a few things here about the love of my life.

See, before we even went on our first date I had to work up the courage just to ask her out and even then I arranged it so that we went out with a group of friends. But as we went on more dates, I truly realized that I had found the woman of my dreams.

She mentioned the first night I that New Year's Eve when I told her "I Love You. I really do." She mentioned that it took me a while to "get there" and that she left once, sure she wanted to be free. And how I was patient, kind, forgiving, and loved her unconditionally.

What she didn't mention was how much of a pain I was during our first few years together, while dating. It was during these years, that she was the patient, kind, forgiving, and yes most of all, the one who loved me unconditionally. She put up with a lot from me during those first years. Times when any other woman would have probably given up and told me it was time to leave.

When I look back, I am the one who thanks God that she hung in there and did not give up on me.

We have been blessed in so many ways these past 18 years. And yes we are closer than ever. We share a rare bond, that holds us close even when apart.

Tiffany, I thank you for your wonderful post, it lifted me up when I needed it most. It was hard being away from you during this time of year. As I was walking back to my room last night, I was thinking of that night, 18 years ago, in that honky-tonk when I first told you, "I Love You" and also how we renewed our vows, 11 years ago, in Solana Beach. Then I wake and find your lovely post. Coincidence? I think not! I believe it is two hearts that love each other so much, that nothing can keep them apart!

I am counting the days until I return home and hold you in my arms so you can whisper...

I Love You Darling

And I'll be there.

18 years ago today...

2011-12-31T07:22:00.000-08:00

in a corner booth at a noisy honky-tonk in Jacksonville, NC...Collin Raye was blaring over the speakers, singing "If You Get There Before I Do..." and my future husband turned to me with tears in his eyes and told me..."I Love You. I really do."

And it was funny, I had been there for so long. I knew the instant we went on our first date, where he two-stepped with me to Garth Brooks in a dive bar in Havelock, whispering in my ear..."how could a man like me get so lucky to go on a date with a woman like you?" that he was the man I would marry. I woke up the very next day to the sound of ringing phone. Auntie Re was on the other line, calling from a visit with my Mom & family and I told her, I said, "I just went on a date with the man I'm going to marry." I just knew it. It took him a while to "get there," but I thank God every day that he did.

I left once. I walked away, sure I wanted to be free. I wasn't there anymore. But he was. He "got there" before I did and he waited. He was patient, kind, forgiving, and most of all, he loved me unconditionally, with his whole heart. He waited. And I came back.

11 years ago today, we stood with my family in Solana Beach and got "married" all over again, starting new, starting fresh.

And today, 18 years later, here we are, separated by 7000 miles...closer than ever, bonded for life and blessed with the 5 most amazing children any parents could ever ask for.

Charles, I miss you more than I could ever express with written words. My heart hurts when you are not here and I don't feel whole. I can't wait to see you again and whisper in your ear..."how could a woman like me get so lucky to have a man like you?"

Happy "I Love You" Anniversary, my love.

I'll be waiting.

Me.

The reason for the season...

2011-12-10T18:48:00.000-08:00

was beautiful tonight.

My little blessings and I attended the live nativity at Emmanuel Baptist Church in Cedar Point tonight. Yep, I decided taking 5 small children to a place with fire, live animals, cookies, donuts and hot cider was a smashing idea.

WELL, ha. I was right.

It was just lovely. Of course, I got all teary eyed at the end when I took a pic of my minis to send to their Daddy. But...I'm quite pleased that I didn't cave to my overwhelming desire to stay home in my jammies and do a lot of cleaning (OR nothing...)

What a gift to my littles to have a little bit of an understanding of what it must have been like so many years ago for Mary & Joseph to travel to a strange place to do God's work. What faith they must have possessed! And how overwhelming, pregnant with no place to go and no warm bed to lie upon. It gave me much pause to realize how truly gifted we are in our time.

Charley, that sweet bean, says as she is getting tucked in tonight..."Mommy, was that the real Bethlehem?"

Mercy, light of this little family, was quite the lady this eve. Asked by our "shepperd" if she knew who was born on Christmas day, she piped back with "Baby Jesus was!"

Max, my man, was a little overwhelmed with all the business about, so he stuck to me like glue but watched with great interest.

Eva was quite impressed and made me promise to take her back again next year. :-)

Sam...well he was Sam. Tried to rip the stroller apart to escape, tore his cookie in half before he ate it and entertained the masses with his antics.

As for me?

Just too blessed to be stressed. I'm going to bed with a messy house. And when I say messy...I mean it.

Oy.

Merry CHRISTmas, my friends.

love,

clan mac mama

Oh, my mini macs...

2011-10-14T20:10:00.001-07:00

Mommy is just so darn sorry. I've let so much time pass by with no news of you. So much has happened and the time has flown by...

Sam... you let Mommy rock you to sleep now. IT is just the sweetest time. You are quite the stubborn little Mac...wonder where you get THAT from?

Mercy... you are the littlest mommy with the sweetest heart... and the most heartbreaking sadness over your Daddy being gone.

Max...You are just a little turkey butt. Fakey Fakerton is my most favorite term of endearment for you. Stubborn, smart and DETERMINED. Your smile melts my heart and the kisses you give are sweeter than any candy.

Charley...my heart just almost bursts when you tell me you'll always live next door. I'm going to hold you to that! Math is your favorite part of the day, which completely CRACKS me up, since I'm the one teaching you and really...you should be teaching me!

Eva...my sweet, amazing firstborn baby. It's been a little tough lately...and your capacity to love, forgive and stay strong is SO inspiring to Mommy. I love you more than you can ever know...well, until you have your own little mini-me. Thank you, sweet bean, for your sweet soul.

Charles...I miss you so much it hurts. I'm lonely and I need a hug. Send me one from across the miles...I"m sending one to you.

2 months down. Thank You Jesus!

love,

tiff & the many mini macs

ahhh......i'm still breathing....

2011-10-12T20:35:00.000-07:00

sort of. Mostly I'm probably hyperventilating, alternating with praying...yelling...praying...yelling...

Um, it's sort of like the deployment hamster wheel of the wife of the deployed Marine who is just looney enough to homeschool, run a home business AND maintain a level of TYPE A that is really treatable with just enough wine....

and then, I'm stupid enough to page back through my old posts. Yes, I just said STUPID. Don't page back through old posts that are funny, cute and quite memorable when you are completely incapable of posting even a blurb about your kids because you are so tired most of the time that you forget how to speak properly...

All wittiness aside...all clan mac moments here in a nutshell!

Eva:

Chapterbookaholic...

Has developed a sassiness that could cost her one of her nine lives...

BUT, is so sweet and helpful when I let her be. (Yes, I just said that too. I'm having a control freak problem right now...)

Loves. Loves. Loves! the other mini macs! Loves to chat with me, Loves to dress her little sib, Mercy. Wishes with every fiber of her being that I could spend more time with her. Breaks my heart that I can't figure out how. (Cloning? Am I the next Dolly?)

Amazes me constantly with how capable she is. Gets ALL of her littles up and dressed with just a little prompting from the Mommy. What, oh what, would I do without her?

Eva...you ROCK!

A flitting, funny, fabulous whirl of a girl!

Charley...

Oh, what can you say about a whirling dervish of a tomboy who thinks that wearing a dress is a punishment? Seriously...we just ended a 3 day run of dress punishment. When I told her she could pick out her own clothes for tomorrow, you'd have thought she won the lego lottery. On the flip side, a math lesson is like a treat and her math book is a coveted work of love. Her heart is so big it gives me goosebumps and her temper is so epic it takes every ounce of my self control not too just bust out laughing every time she stomps out of the room with her arms crossed and her lower lip so far out she's almost tripping on it...

Like a sponge, she just absorbs all that surrounds her and constantly astounds me with what pops out of those rosebud lips of hers. She too, is a little mommy. Although...she tends to be more of an arm wrestling, JUST DO IT NOW, kind of little mommy. (Hmmm, who could she be like?)

Mercy...

Little miss sassy señorita smarty pants...heart of gold, uber-sensitive, brutally honest, unfailingly sweet and VERY old soul. She randomly decided about 2 weeks ago that she'd like to be potty trained...and she did it almost entirely on her own. THANK YOU JESUS. For all of you who doubt his essential existence and grace...have 3 kids in diapers while your hubby is deployed, then have one decide to cut you a break and actually deposit her own by-products into a toilet...you WILL believe. forever. I promise.

Listening to her speak in paragraphs and try to mother each and every one of her siblings is the sweetest sound. I'm confounded on a minute by minute basis by her maturity of speech and ability to know EXACTLY what she is doing. She is the most calculated child I've given birth to yet...CRAP. I'm in for it in a major way.

Max...

All boy...almost all the time. The poor kid is certain that he is adrift in a sea of estrogen. He is finally starting to realize that he and Sam must be a testosterone team if they have any hope of surviving the ovarian regime in which they are drowning...He'll push the stroller with his dog in it, but he will TAKE YOU OUT if you try to steal it away. Picky...picky...picky eater, it would be easier if I just pureed his favorite foods and fed him through a straw. But, oh wow, can he make a mama feel special. His kisses are like winning the lottery and that smile is magazine cover material! Trucks, cars and dirt are his best friends, just make sure you are ready with the soap when he finally realizes he's dirty! Oh, and did I mention exactly how he gives those kisses? He fixes you with those eyeballs...tilts his head just a bit, leans in as smooth as silk, places his hands on your cheeks and plants one on ya. and lingers like a little lothario. Watch it, chickies!

Sam...

Sam, sweet Sam. Or should I say, Tank, BIG TANK. Fighting for his place, he is quite certain that none of this family is going to steamroll over him! When I say tank, I am NOT kidding. That kid has a grip that could take down the world arm wrestling champ, a right hook that is golden gloves worthy and an appetite that is bottomless. Big man does NOT miss a meal. There is currently a phase happening in which he allows me the privilege of rocking him every night...PLEASE GOD, don't let this phase pass...it is my most cherished moment of the day. I really don't know how I made it this far into motherhood without this. None of the other beans loved rocking quite as much as Sam. Mercy was a close second, Charley & Max tied for 3rd, Eva did NOT like it. :-( Sam is making up for it all. Thank you Jesus. Sam Sam is not happy unless he is in the middle of the chaos, learning how to jump off the play table or roll end to end on the couch right along with the big kids. He's repeating tons of words, so I guess I'd better quite cursing like a sailor...and the best thing of all? He SMACKS his lips when I bring him his bottles. IT is stinking fabulous. The little turkey never does it for the camera, so I guess I"ll have to remember it in my mind movie mode. Smilin' Sam, I just love that God knew I needed you.

Happy Fall, ya'll!

love,

clan mac mama

Found this one and realized I never hit publish...On January 20, 2009...

2011-09-19T20:30:00.000-07:00

at just about a quarter to nine,
they told us that you'd soon be here.
So with just a bit of fear, we let out a great big cheer!
Mercy arrived at 1:02,
followed in a bit by baby two.
Little Max took his own sweet time,
arriving later at one one nine.
Thus began life as a family of six,
a crazy,wacky, maniacal mix!
In the whirlwind chaos of your first 12 months,
you grew into such adorable runts!
Completed our family is what you did,
your effervescent joy made us flip our lid!
Happy Birthday to Mercy,
Happy Birthday to Max,
Our wonderful, adorable, twin mini macs!!

Sweet Sam fell asleep...

2011-09-04T17:46:00.001-07:00

in my arms tonight. He gave me kisses, hugs, snuggles and love. He let me sing and stroke his hair, then let me rock him right to sleep. And we rocked & rocked and rocked. I'd still be rocking if the M-n-M's hadn't needed me to send them off to dreamland. My sweet boy hasn't given me that gift since he was still nursing.

God, you knew I needed that. Thank you, God. Because I really did.

Love,

Tiff

Where have all the babies gone....

2011-05-29T11:27:00.000-07:00

?
In one week, just one, from today...Tank will be 1 year old. ONE. He will officially cross over to the not-so-snuggly, don't need you as much, too busy to hug you, too busy to sit in your lap, almost toddling stage. And that's it. 8 years of babies, 3 in 2 years and I'm finally a woman with no babies.
WHAT?
I am not so sure about this. I mean I'm SURE I am NOT EVER going to want to give birth again, have big leaky boobs again, be big and unwieldy again and be up half the night again. But, I'm not sure how to be a Mama with no snuggly little blobs of love.
Oh, I know. I can sleep all night. I can occasionally venture out with all 5. If I want a real treat, I try to hit Sam's Club and Walmart on the same shopping day with the Fire Team and Spare (Tank.) It's always an adventure...punctuated by "are those all YOUR children?" "Wow, you are blessed!" "Um, do you know how this happens?" Yup, to all of the above. Oh, and lest I forget..."wow, you sure are brave." Nope, just a glutton for lots of love.
I realized something lately. I haven't been a whole lot of fun for a really long time. Instead of embracing this life God has chosen for me, I've been fighting it. TOOTH AND NAIL. Mostly just like an irritated horse surrounded by buzzing flies, I've been randomly swiping at my life. I'd venture to say I was a Hostile Homeschooling Harpie.
Well, in the words of my esteemed pal Sara, God has had a little convo with me, during which He informed me He is not pleased with my hostility. And, well, He's right. SO. In her footsteps I follow, telling the Hostile Homeschooling Harpie to take a Hike, to be replaced by Zen Master Cool Homeschooler Extroardinaire.
As I embark on this journey of calm in the face of all things Crazy Clan Mac, wish me peace and a quiet voice... I find that the little dervishes actually listen a little better when I whisper their proposed exile/punishment. Well, that and I'm just tired of yelling over the din. Chaos be gone. Or if it insists on staying, stay out of my way! I'm on a Zen mission.

Breathing deeply and surrounded by zen-ness,
Clan Mac Mama
p.s. No, my blog was not hijacked by Angi. :-)

Dear Mercy,

2011-05-01T18:59:00.001-07:00

Mommy was so inspired by you today! Out of nowhere, you started dancing just like a ballerina, complete with hand movements and tippy toes, twirling about the playroom, you face the picture of sweet peace and bliss. You followed this sweetness with many snuggles for Mommy right before you informed me you wanted to take your nap. (!)
When you woke from your self imposed slumber, we took a stroll out front to enjoy the evening. After you made your way down the front steps, you spied your favorite neighbors on their porch and proceeded to greet them with a princess worthy wave and a "Hi!" (You repeated this several times, enhancing the cuteness factor...)
I was then informed that you wished to go for a walk. Off we went. Our stroll was sadly cut short by a scooter-bike collision between your sisters, so we headed in for some vittles. Much to your joy, one of the fave neighbor children "A" helped us shepard our supersized clan in for the evening. Suprisingly, you then settled at the table with some colored pencils and a book instead of tagging along after "A." I brought you some paper to help you "write" the ABC's, since you seem to feel that you must dictate letters frequently and we must repeat them. In order, I might add. Here you sat until I served you & Max your gourmet meal of taters, fish sticks and steamed broccoli. I told you both to pray before you ate and...by golly, you did! You blessed your food and thanked God. I think my heart cried a little with happiness.
My sweet child, I love you so much. What joy you bring to my life. Thank the Lord, He blessed me with you.
Love,
Mommy
p.s. You can also count to ten, speak in paragraphs, follow lots of instructions, sing ABC's, Twinkle Twinkle, Ring around the Rosy, My Favorite Things and so many other songs! And best of all, you exude sweetness from every pore. (Except when you are instigating your brother...) Oh, and when Mommy asks, "Mercy, who's your twin?" You love to say, "Max, my twin!" AND, I almost forgot, you love to ask Max to chase you, boss him around, take care of babydolls, carry purses, wear lots of jewelry, clothe yourself in only dresses, carry your own purse, change clothes often, pick your own hair pretties, and try on all the "big girl" shoes. :-)

2011-04-05T04:32:00.000-07:00

Just so all of our loyal followers know...This is not a post from my loving wife Tiff. So do not expect to read a witty, funny, or bring a tear to your eyes posting. Tiff is the writer in the family not dear old Dad. So now that the disclaimer is out of the way... I just wanted to post out here how proud I am as a husband and father. Ever since we decided to take this journey of home schooling our Mini Macs through Classical Conversations, a little part of me has always harbored resistance to the idea. But after seeing our two eldest lil angels up on that stage last night at the Classical Conversations year end presentations, that last bit of resistance was effectively squashed. To see my lil Charley bean who all evening long, including before we left the house, was saying that she did not want to get up on the stage...To see her right out in front of her class during their presentation just filled me with a sense of pride and joy. And to see Eva up their as the spokesperson for her class, giving the introduction for her class on what they learned during the year in geography had me bursting with pride and joy. It was amazing to see my 8 year old up there not afraid one bit to speak in front of a large group of people, to take the lead for her class. And I would never have been able to see them do this if wasn't for Tiff. She has known all along that she wanted to home school our kids. She has been the driving force behind their education and has done a tremendous job this year. It may not have always been easy, but she has stuck with her dedication and her efforts. And seeing our lil ones up there last night just reinforces in me that home schooling was the route to take for our family. Now I just have to figure out how to finish the upstairs so that Tiff and the kids can have a dedicated space for home schooling. I Love Ya Tiff!

Moments to love...

2011-03-06T12:51:00.000-08:00

from the last few months of clan mac chaos!

Max and Mercy holding hands as they play outside, taking a stroll...

Sam sitting up!

The first time Mercy uttered my favorite words...I Love You Mama...which she then taught to her sweet brother...sometime in February. How perfect!

Mercy talking a blue streak...and I can understand!

Max gibbering at me with such an earnest look on his face that I must decipher what he says, even if it takes all day.

Sam grabbing my face with BOTH hands and planting the sloppiest of baby kisses...sometime in February. How perfect...again!!

Walking in the door to see my son with a ponytail sticking off the top of his head...the poor dude couldn't see through his bangs anymore and kept tripping. Thus the ponytail crafted by our fave 3rd parent...Becca.

Watching Secretariat with my Big Beans on a rainy afternoon...yelling at the TV and jumping up and down when he wins!

Seeing the look on the my doctor's face when he asked if I enjoyed the drive down to Wilmington without the kiddos and I said...
"Well, when Mercy handed me her poop yesterday, I decided I just couldn't wait to get here!"

Chalk Art in the driveway on those (finally) sunny days!

My heart swelling with pride when my 8 year old gave a presentation on our family Mission project at school... in front of over 100 people!

Days that Mercy leaves her diaper on with it's contents intact.

Discovering that Charley is starting to read!

Listening to Eva learn to play the piano!

Hearing Mercy try to sing our "school."

Seeing Sam with a toothy grin, thanks to his first 2 teeth, who made their appearance as a duo in early March...

Sweet kisses between tantrums from my Charley bean...

Watching the same Charley bean deciphering words...

AND...Remembering that these are the little years. Figuring out ways to love them. And being so grateful that I accidentally got 5 instead of 3. :-0

I live for...

2011-03-05T04:52:00.001-08:00

little moments like that....
You know that country song? Sing it just a bit for me. Then read all about the moments whose time and date escapes me, but whose details, praise the Lord, don't.

Sam sat up, now he sits...and he rolls...and he scooches a bit. He has this hysterical method of rolling his fat little body from side to side with his giantly cloth diapered butt high in the air as he tries mightily to reach whatever object is just outside his little stratosphere...It's almost like a crippled caterpillar. HA, I love baby ingenuity! His appetite is epic for this family of light eaters (save for Charley,) his demeanor beyond sweet, and his presence in our family? Precious! So very precious.

He's my last sweet, snuggly, smooshy, smunchy baby. And my bigs are getting so much bigger...I'll blink and before I know it, they'll be grown and I'll wonder where all the time has gone.

And then I'll look at pictures and read this silly blog...and I"ll remember.

Love,
The Mommy

So many moments...

2011-02-25T09:26:00.000-08:00

so little time to remember them. :-(

And life is just whizzing by here in our maniacal mac clan...

Sam is almost 10 months old....
Max and Mercy talk, listen when it strikes their fancy, demand with clarity and just generally aren't even remotely babies anymore.
Charley...well she talks like a 20 year old and behaves like a 2 year old.
Eva? Chapter books, spa parties, mommying to her sibs and helping her mommy. (all the time...what a gift she is.)

I had a funny chat with a friend last night, during which we were discussing issues with finding specialist doc care for kiddos in a military town. I recalled my ease in finding a pediatric ortho doc to look at Mercy when she was doing something odd when she walked...I couldn't for the life of me recall if it was walking like a duck or walking on her toes. Well, my good friend remembered it in detail...So I decided then and there that I should stop trying to recall every little thing and record it and simply pass my kids baby books around (well...if they all had them, not just the first 2) and let my "village" fill it in.
So here is my request of all of you that get to see my kiddos grow up...if you remember something, anything....even just a smidget of info that I can pretend I remember, would you just shoot me a little reminder so I can then copy and paste it to this blog, change it up a bit and pretend I actually wrote it down? Thanks so much. It will save me thousands in therapy bills when they are older. Or not. They'll probably read this post and realize I just made it all up.

Seriously. It's time to move on to what I actually do remember...

Sam...
He sits, he rolls, he eats, he laughs like a maniac, babbles a blue streak, smiles so big you think your heart will just burst with love every time you see it, he chews...on anything he stuff into his mouth (still no sign of any toothers though!)
He adores his sibs, cannot stand to be left alone (he is so unused to quiet and alone time that he just doesn't know how to act when it happens...).
He lives for the snuggles and sleeps like a bear.

And that about covers it for today's memory cells...

Love,
Clan Mac Mama

Watching my son sleep...

2011-01-26T20:06:00.000-08:00

is poetic and joyful, soft and sweet. An image burned like a brand in my mind until I'm no longer.
When my sweet Sam is so tired, I lay him on his back for one last grin and big slobbery kiss...
then I heft him over (he is a bit BIG...)
He stretches his whole body out, face down, arms extended, butt in the air...
then rubs his soft smooshy little face back and forth, back and forth...
all the while softly squinching his chubby little hands over and over on the chamois sheet...
sometimes he reaches out for his mi mi, popping it into his mouth...
mostly he just drops right off the planet...peaceful and quiet.
The most beautiful sight I have ever seen.

Attempting to avoid status updates...

2011-01-06T03:40:00.000-08:00

and start more blogging again, so here I am. A quick note...
SO.
This week just seems to be the yin/yang of life. A fabulous help has been dropped on my family from above and without her I just don't think I'd be able to make it through my weeks. On the flip side, I'm not reacting well to the new meds and think I may have to drop them. Crap...looney lady may be making a comeback. Pray she stays in the proverbial box and we get this worked out. :-) I've also got a few sick little kiddos who have needed WAY more attention than normal and nights here just have Charles and I looking at each other and communicating telepathically....
CALGON TAKE ME AWAY.
Seriously, the crying was so ridiculous the last few evenings that I really just had to laugh. It was like I was right in the middle of some birth control ad to scare errant teens into abstaining...for the REST of their lives.
Back on the other blessing side...an opportunity to help out another homeschooling family just dropped into my lap and the way it all worked out? Totally a God thing.
SO. Today. The first school day of our new year, Clan Mac version 5.0, and I get to go with just the bigs. What a rare treat that is. :-)
Cheers everyone, and here's to REALLY trying to always look on the bright side. (Jeepers, if I didn't, I'd spend my days wallowing and looking at vacation homes. With only ONE bedroom.)

Hope your day rocks!
Tiff

Better times are comin' our way...

2011-01-01T05:25:00.000-08:00

What is it about the New Year that makes us want to reinvent ourselves? That makes us set new goals, make resolutions, promises to ourselves and others? Ok, so 531 years ago, did some smelly renaissance man decide that he wanted to reinvent himself to win over the love of an equally smelly renaissance woman? And did he just so happen to do it on Jan 1? SO, maybe he won the love of the woman, told his friends...who told their friends...and, well you know how it goes. And here we are, some 532 years later, using the Gregorian Calendar date of Jan 1 every year to decide that, WELL, I've completely screwed up last year, so this year I'll try REALLY hard to be a brand spankin' shiny 5.0 version of myself.

And well. THAT is what I'm doing this year.

Technically, I didn't completely screw up the last year. I had a great kid, built a great house, started a great homeschool and set down roots in a great little town. I did, however, hit a wall going about 90 miles an hour a couple of months ago...which resulted in a pretty major "yep, you guessed it I'm really a lunatic..." meltdown the likes of which I have not had in a pretty long darn time. Some of you know, some of you don't, but now you all do. I'm Bipolar. Nuts, looney tunes, wacko. NO, I am not like Richard Gear in that movie, I DO NOT think I can EVER fly. But yes, I do have a certifiable DSM IV actual mental wackiness that sometimes needs a pretty major tune up. I've known most of my life that something wasn't quite right, I mean who REALLY needs all those shoes, categorized by color, heel height and season...and completely loses it when someone edges one out of place? Seriously, that's not really how it is. (well, I am like that but it's just because my Mom made me that way. LOL love ya Mom.) BUT, I have known it was something that made me different, something that wasn't "like all the others..." as my fave sesame street puppets would say. Well, my aha moment was about 11 years ago when I read a book called The Unquiet Mind by Kay Redfield Jameson. And it was like reading a book someone wrote about Me, without ever knowing Me. And it wasn't about Me. But it was about somebody like me. And my doctors told Me that I was like Her. I was Bipolar I with rapid cycling. Ok, so I cried. And I'm sure you are all thinking, "well, gee I'd be sad too if they said I was a nut job." Got news for ya. They were actually tears of joy. You try spending 29 years not knowing what the bloody blazes is wrong with you and then finding out it's something as simple as that. Something they can treat, something that makes me just wacky enough to be memorable, something that OTHER PEOPLE HAVE TOO.

SO, fast forward about 11 years later. Most of the last 9 have been pretty even. Pregnancy and nursing seems to make me sorta happy. (THAT is scary.) So, since I've been knocked up much of the last 8 years, it has helped me stay (sorta) sane. BUT, I've kind of been riding the waves since mid 2007, not very well, I might add, and this year it all blew up right in my proverbial face. I guess all the stress of the last 2 years and mostly the last year really just hit all at one time and I smashed into that wall going 90 miles an hour HARD.

So, my husband handled it like he was in the middle of a war zone. (Which, technically I guess he was.) Cool, amazing, (mostly) calm, loving, kind, giving, really, I could go ON and ON. He is such my eternal gift from my creator. My kids were marvelous. And forgiving. And a beautiful reminder that I matter, am needed and looked up to. My family was kind, generous, supportive and just generally awesome. Thanks Mom for the ear, Dad for the calls just "to check on the kids," Sam for the advice, Mark for being so excited to see us that it just made me smile through the tears and Susan & Al for riding in to give our kids some much needed one on one time and some real homecooked food.

I have to admit it was hard to go through this here, where I've fallen apart on a much grander scale once before. And it was hard not to have some of my older friends and supporters right here where I needed them. I would have given my left arm to have Cas down the street again. Kristina just a drive away. Connie around the corner. So many I miss & wish for, I can't list them all. It's hard to go through this in a place where people don't know what to do. Don't know how to react. Don't know that having a meltdown doesn't technically make you a crappy parent. It just makes you human. I also have to admit that there was some serious help from above...in human form through some divine encouragement I received from some of my park pals and prayer gals, you know who you are. And from the pal who captures the love of our family in images that bring tears to my eyes and her friendship nurtures my soul. And from one friend who swears she doesn't know what to do with all the emotional fussiness but somehow manages to be such a rock for me. You know who you are and I'll send a hug and many thanks over the cyberwaves so you don't have to deal with all that teary crap. :0)

SO. It's out there for all the word to read. Think what you will, judge if you must. (I guess some just don't get the concept of "judge not, lest ye be judged.") But know this. I am human and made in the way God intended. And I will love myself for what He made and I will seek His face to help me through and I will turn to those He has provided and I will always be honest about who I am. I lost that for a while. I found it again and I pray with every fiber of my being that I don't ever lose it again. (Literally, because the hitting the wall part of being a wackadoo really sucks.) And I promise to try VERY hard to always remember what my good pal Lisa says, "it's just a season, dear."

WELL. after that mess is all up in your hair and the bee is out of my bonnet, I thought I'd let you in on my goals for reinventing my not smelly self.

I will...
spend more time laughing with my husband and my offspring.
eat a heck of a lot better, but never deprive myself of yummy treats.
get some damn exercise. I might be skinny but, damn if I'm not jiggly. YUCK!
enjoy teaching my kids all about the world and everything in it.
spend more time blessing others and paying it forward.
get my stupid degree.

oh, and live on a stinky budget. ugh.

THIS is OUR YEAR. Clan Mac, version 5.0
Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
love,
the clan mac mama

Don't watch Deliver Me a month before your husband's vasectomy.

2010-12-19T15:55:00.000-08:00

When you're stuck "resting" because your head feels like it is going to explode, your throat is like sandpaper and your stomach is churning from postnasal drip. I am SO sure I do NOT want to ever be pregnant again, but darn if watching that show doesn't make me a little weepy and nostalgic for my preggers and newborn baby days. HOWEVER, since my youngest child is 6 months old and I'm not really too far from leaking boobs, sleepless nights and having to eat an irritating number of times a day to make milk (it's my superpower you know...) AND any more children would necessitate a cargo van and a lottery win, We're going ahead with the old snippy snip and we might even move up the date. LOL
So things are status quo here, save for me being a giant germ. Relatively happy kids, mostly sane parents AND we are almost done shopping. Pre-Christmas week baking/crafting/celebrating is about to begin!

Sam update....
Little man is strong!! And CHUBBY!! and snuggly and SO SO SO Sweet! He loves his exersaucer, chews on anything he can stuff into his mouth, has learned to tolerate the bumbo sitter, thinks his siblings are the best thing since sliced bread, does NOT like to be left alone and...can now roll from back to belly and belly to back!! Yeah Sam!! He surprised with this new skill this afternoon on his playmat while I was trying like crazy to finish my Christmas cards.

Oh, I just want to slow time to molasses-like speed. THIS is it. Our last sweet little smelly, barfing, snuggling, laughing, gurgling little boy. Oh, what a talker he is. He gurgles and blows raspberries, yells funny syllables, laughs like crazy and is SO happy that I am constantly amazed at how content he is.

We won the kid lottery. :-)

Love,
Clan Mac Mama

6 months today...

2010-12-05T19:03:00.000-08:00

How the time flies away!
My Little Sam man,
the newest member of our clan.
Your first half year has gone by...
in the blink of an eye.
You're such a cuddly little bug...
with an adorable mug!
You are happy to be...
anywhere with me.
The bigs love to play...
around you all day!
Tickles, books and smiles...
they go on for miles!

Oh, my Sam man. What a gift you are!

We love you baby boy. :-)
Happy 6 months, sweet bean!

Love,
Mommy

Sometimes all it takes is...

2010-09-21T20:02:00.001-07:00

a tier of fruit. On a pretty stand. To finally make my house feel like my home.

After a summer spent riding the ebb and flow of our new life, I think we might, just might, finally have some peace. To say that I never want to have another summer like this one would be an understatement. But the prizes that came out of this cracker jack box have been priceless.
My sweet son.
My HOME.
My little learners.
My little frick and frack.

In the words of my husband "you're like a ping pong ball on a bungee cord..." I tell you that it's been a mighty trying time. And yet... here we are. 5 contented kids, 2 REALLY exhausted parents and one very big, very merry, very blessed unit.

Tonight we sat. We viewed the telly and ate popcorn. We just were. Then my love went off to check our children and discovered our little man, Sam, sucking on his little tiny finger. And I started to cry. Because it hit me, like a little tsunami, that I might not remember this night. I might not remember that he rolled over for the first time at my parents on Labor Day weekend. I might not remember that he laughed at me when I tickled him, just after I nursed him, sitting in my chair...sometime in August. That I have almost no pictures of him, and maybe 2 of me or Charles with him. That these days, these sweet moments with my littlest baby, have rushed by in a blur of stuff, stress, wailing babies, crying mommy, stressed out daddy and overwhelmed big girls.

I haven't written about how astonished I have been as I watch my big girls with their littles. Their kindness, unconditional love and extraordinary patience has been like watching the hand of God lead my children. And it has certainly been that hand that has led us out of this craziness and into a peace. (Albeit a busy one, but a peace nonetheless.)

I haven't written about the binky wars, the fun with forks, the battle for Mommy (or Daddy, as the case may be.) The puckered up kisses of my littlest Mercy, the sweet hugs between my twinners, the maniacal laughter that fills my home, the mud wars, the MAJOR MAX MELTDOWNS (usually resulting in running, loud wailing and occasional dropping to the floor in sheer RIDICULOUSNESS.) The high pitched screeching from Mercy as she touts her displeasure, usually followed by a quick recovery and a rapid fire succession of Mercy speak that I am FINALLY starting to decipher.

I haven't told you that homeschooling is HARD. But the best thing I've ever done for my kids. That there are days I forget to pee because I haven't stopped for one second. That the first 2 weeks were like a fire house in my mouth, and the second 2 weeks are getting there. That I really love spending my days with all of my children. That I am so proud of how hard they work every day. That I love watching their little minds "get it." That I love starting my day with our devotional. That I love that they love it.

I haven't talked about how Max and Mercy will sit with us for sometimes an hour! "Reading" their books, "writing," eating playdoh, throwing rice and, on occasion, doing a timeline motion or 2. :0) I haven't told you that today, as I was prepping the brood to zip over to Evie's riding lessons, I opened the door to the M-n-M's room, only to discover Max, Mercy and Charley sitting quietly in the middle of their floor, reading books. My heart almost exploded and I knew, without one shred of doubt, that my family works like this.

I haven't shared Eva's joy for writing, reading and learning the word of God. The joy radiating from her face when she learns new verses, writes a new story or discovers a neat new book, it's phenomenal. You don't know that she is my greatest help, my little friend, my sidekick. You don't see the thirst for knowledge that has re-emerged in this last month.

The wonder that is Charley hasn't been shared with you. The astonishing memory that I have seen emerge in just 4 weeks, the quest to know and to understand. The longing to be a big girl, but with a heart that is still so sweet and little.

The old soul that is my Mercy. Always tending her baby, wearing whatever she can loop around her neck to "dress up," sporting a sweet little purse on her arm. Sitting on the front step, watching the world go by, just like her Nana and her great Nana. She is a little Carolyn and Susan all rolled into one.

The sweet, tender hearted and "oh so sensitive" Max man. His heart is bigger than the grand canyon. His sweetness, beyond inspiring. His toe bouncing run? comical! His favorite music? Hard rock or heavy metal...guess his doppelganger passed on more than his looks. :-) And he is all boy, all the time. (even when he's pushing a pink stroller loaded with bunnies, he is ramming it into a wall.)

And my marvelous, marvelous husband. The best father. Ever.

There is just so much to share and so little time to type. I hope this snippet and these photos find all of you well. I hope I can share more snippets soon...pray for more hours in my day. :-)
Love to all...
clan mac mama

Heavy Metal Head...

2010-08-06T18:33:00.000-07:00

so, my Max man is not only a physical clone of my brother, he has the same taste in music...Sitting in O'Charley's tonight for dinner (in the bar area with Charles, our 5 kids and Christy and her 3...nice.) and the "night" music gets cranked up. Head bangin', throat screamin' craziness. And there is my son. Grinning like a chesire cat, bopping up & down, swaying side to side, clapping and whacking his straw on the table. And on that note....
I need to have my own TLC show so I can have these bits of insanity preserved for posterity and all that world to see.
Micky Simons has decided that it'll be called...
Tiff plus Ten
I told him not to walk on front of my car, as I might run him over. After I finish beating him with a wooden spoon. But he has that silly video of Big Echo night in Okinawa, so I better let him live. :-)
Personally, I'm pretty sure that Tiff and Mac plus 5 is plenty, thank you very much. I still remember my name and the month, so let's not push it.

Off to watch Eureka with the spousal unit. More later!
love,
clan mac mama

ARRGHHHHHHH....

2010-07-28T08:51:00.000-07:00

It's Cap'n Charley...

That's my kid.
LOVE IT!

Dear Sam,

2010-07-09T05:03:00.000-07:00

Hello, my littlest man. I can't believe you are a month old already. As seems to be the new norm for our clan, the first month of your life has been chaos, since we have moved...YET again. Our MO seems to be, have a baby or 2, move a few times, have a baby, move. Don't try this when you are an adult. It really stinks. BUT, here we are, settled in our new home...5 kids, no pets, no plants and no nanny. (I'm okay with the no pets/no plants thing, but I REALLY could use a nanny.)

What a sweet and cuddly little man you are. All you need to make you happy is milk, snuggles and your siblings. You're quite smart and have figured out that if you are not pleased, you can squawk quite loudly and someone from this giant clan will pick you up or talk to you or read you a story... and then you are quite content again.

You curl your toes while you nurse. It makes my heart smile. And you REALLY never miss a meal. Which could explain how you weighed 9 lbs 15 oz at your one month check. :-) They said you were getting along famously and healthy as could be. (And this really makes my heart smile, since you gave us quite a scare for a while there in my tummy.)

You look just like your dad and your big sister Charley. 100% McCawley! So let's count 'em up...
Mommy clones: Eva & Mercy
Daddy clones: Charley & Sam
Uncle Markie clones: Max
SO... Mommy wins! (I get credit for the uncle markie clone since I had to put up with his torture when HE was little like Max man. :-)

You smiled at me yesterday. I think this was the 3rd time... and no the other ones were NOT gas. You smiled at me when you were 10 days old, 3 weeks old AND yesterday. I'd prefer we not space the smiles out so much and respectfully request that you make them a regular occurrence...

You've traveled quite a bit for such a small fry. Mommy and the beans scooted on up to Maryland with Nanny for a bit while Daddy moved. We drove up when you were just 2 weeks old. And you were an absolute angel on the trip! We spent almost 2 weeks with Nanny, Poppy, Aunt Sammy, Haley, Ivy and JoJo.

You were rather happy to have all that love and attention and Mommy was quite happy to have all of her favorite peeps around to hang out with and share baby duties with. We had an altogether lovely time and miss everyone boatloads already. (Thankfully, Aunt Sammy rolled in with her chitlins' last night, so I am spared the familial longings for this weekend! :-) It's so delightful to live close to the fam again.)

You've really grown quite a bit this last month, reaching 10 lbs, outgrowing your newborn diapers by 3 weeks and moving on up in the size of your charming little sleepers by 4 weeks! Like Mama said, you REALLY don't miss a meal, so this is not at all bewildering.

Your sibs really find you quite darling and are truly adjusting well to your presence. Mercy LOVES to call you baby and give you kisses, hugs and love pats. Max finally acknowledged your existence around your 2 week mark and now thinks you are the bee's knees. He is perfectly gentle with your little self and finds you quite fascinating. (although...he does tend to get a bit irked when you are hogging my attention.)

Charley adores holding you, chatting with you and checking up on you. She gave you quite a gift... HER BINKIES! If you knew how much Charley adored her binks, you'd be thoroughly impressed with this magnanimous act. As for your biggest sister, Eva, she is your other Mama. What an incredible assistant she is to mommy, helping me keep my head above water with all of you little beans. I have to remember every day to thank her and let her know how much I appreciate her! She loves to read you stories and keep you content throughout our deliriously kooky days.

And...you took a bath in a roasting pan on a cutting board mat at Nanny's. Who needs baby gear when Nanny has a pantry full of kitchen crap?

Well, my little son, I'd best sign off for now. You are stirring and the time is flying by. I must attend to you and your sibs.

I'll leave you with this...You filled the hole in my heart when you blessed us with your light. I thank God every day for trusting me with you. I Love You to infinity and beyond!

All my love...
Mommy

Bye Bye Binkies...

2010-07-09T04:58:00.000-07:00

Hello Big Girl!
At long last, my Charley bean has given up the binkie! The other night, I discovered that Sam likes Charley's binkies better than the soothies, so we started using some of them for him. WELL, apparently that was the kick in the proverbial pants needed to convince Charley that binkies really are for babies....woo hoo!
Soooo.... one new razor scooter and an appointment for getting ears pierced later, and we are binky free for Charley.
Times....they are a changin'!

Welcome to our clan, little Sam man.

2010-06-26T13:51:00.000-07:00

BEFORE....

For your entertainment... a little funny.

Samuel Charles McCawley completed our family June 5, 2009 at 7:55 pm. He came into this world on wings of prayer and PRAISE GOD, he is healthy, happy and here!

After!

7.9 lbs, 20 inches long
madder than a wet hen (and how mad, really, is a wet hen?)
Healthy, beautiful and perfect.

These first 3 weeks have passed in a complete blur of nursing, diapers, moving, traveling, and adjusting to life in our new circus. Now that we've done our part to populate the earth all by ourselves, we have to figure out how to keep these little midgets from taking over and locking us into the closet when we're not looking. (If you spent an afternoon with Max and Mercy you would understand this and totally see why this is a real possibility. :-)

Eva and Charley have taken the new little man in great stride, being extraordinarily helpful, understanding and easygoing. The mini macs have had their moments, but have yet to try to smother him, feed him or beat him up, so I think it's going quite swimmingly. (and, again... what exactly does swimmingly mean? for my purposes it means we are all alive, fed and not very dirty.)

Littlest man is a champion eater, pooper and snuggler. Sleeping...well, that shifts daily, but we can't have everything, now, can we? He is SO stinking cute. And every bit a McCawley. After a perusal of pics here at my parent's, we have determined that Max is Mark's mini me and Sam is Charles' mini me. His hair is so soft and dark, his eyes are alert and bright, his skin is perfect, soft and quite ruddy, his hands and feet are HUGE, and his ears are so adorable I can't stand it! What a blessing this little guy is to our family.

The clan, minus Charles, is currently ensconced at my parent's house while Charles finishes moving us into the new house in NC. My Dad headed down there thursday to help him out with some things and they will head back up here on Sunday. I can't wait to see my hubby. Feels like a thousand years have passed since we brought Sam home. Complete and utter chaos has enveloped us all and I will be so glad to have some time together as a family. The kids miss their Dad and little Sam has barely seen him! This "hey, let's move everytime we have a kid" thing is for the freakin' birds!

So, I've got to run and bathe the twins, feed little man and feed myself. So here's a few more pics... enjoy!

The sound of my children laughing...

2010-06-03T09:57:00.000-07:00

makes my heart sing!

As for those other clan mac beans...

2010-05-26T11:16:00.000-07:00

I honestly can't say I know where to begin with the bigs and the littles. Life has been so crazy that blogging and every other form of keeping up with my family has been pitched aside. So I'll do my best to sum it up...

Eva...
What a big girl I've got! She is so articulate, helpful, kind and empathetic. (most of the time...) She loves to help me, adores her playtime with friends, is reading like a champ, loves gymnastics and her riding lessons and is truly and genuinely excited about the 3 biggest clan mac events on the horizon: baby five, homeschooling and moving into our very own house. She has grown up so much this year and it amazes me every day what she is capable of and how much she is willing to learn if I just take the time to teach her.
Fave things of late...
jamming to her ipod
entertaining and tickling the M-n-M's
"directing" playtime with Charley (which usually results in screaming and MOMMMMMMM...)
hand games and rhymes (think Miss Mary Mack Mack Mack and the like. Which I STILL remember!)
Anticipating our visit up north while Daddy moves us into the new house!
And finally, counting the days until summer is here!

Charley...
Talk about a 4 year old. Kristina knows what I mean.... Stubborn, tenacious, sassy, "hard of hearing" (well, selective hearing,) too smart for her own britches, enamored of her best pal Hailey...
and beyond sweet with her kisses and hugs for every member of this clan. There is NO bossing this 4 year old around. Since my last Charley related post, she has figured out more of the electronics, taken to ignoring me when I speak, decided that screaming AHHHHHHHHHHHHH is the way to solve all issues and has grown like a weed. She shocked the poop out of me by demonstrating the ability to write her alphabet yesterday (without help or visual reference,) which she followed by a tantrum over the fact that I would not let her play a game on my computer. She completely and utterly adores her siblings and would be content to do nothing but play with them all day. As a matter of fact, I don't know what I'd do without her! She keeps Max and Mercy happy so Mommy can be the slave. :-) She had a wonderful party with her fave people here and was overjoyed to receive many car related gifts. I gave her a boy name and apparently that comes with a vested interest in boy toys. Oh, and building blocks, puzzles and legos. Future engineer or Nascar driver?

Mercy...Ah, the littlest diva. What can you say about such a tiny little person who rules the entire roost? I'll sum it up in just a few words....
dance baby dance!
THAT IS MINE!
snuggle me...please :-)
give me kisses!
WHERE is my MILK?
Can't you tell I'm HUNGRY?
What do you mean I'm messy? This food doesn't belong all over my shirt, the floor and under my butt?
oh, you were playing with that? I didn't notice when I yanked it out of your hands. oops. :-)
Mommy, what is that on top of your head? Here, let me grab 2 handfuls of your hair and yank your head down so I can see. Oh, and while I'm at it, let me grab your eyelashes and stick my fingers up your nose. Aren't I cute?
And finally....
Oh, that looks dangerous. Here Max, let me figure it out and then I'll show you too!!!!

Max...
Mighty Max
Little Linebacker
Itty Bitty Al
Super Sheepdog, ready to fly away at a moment's notice with his hairwings.
Truly, I have never seen a 1 year old boy built this way. His shoulders are ridiculous, his legs and arms are like trunks, his butt looks like he's been doing squats since the womb, and his lips? Angelina Jolie could be jealous.

Summing it up for the man...
I don't like that. I don't care if I've eaten it before, I don't care how long it took you to make it and I don't care if Mercy is eating it. If it's not sweet, fruity, perfect consistency and NOT green, I am most certainly NOT letting it past my adorable lips.
Is that soft? Can I have it? Can I throw it on the floor, then throw myself on it and then rub my sweet little face in it? Thanks!! That is my second fave thing to do.
My first fave thing is: running at full speed into the end of my crib with my head. I've now moved on to trying it out with walls AND putting myself in downward dog while I whack my head on the ground. Mind you, I laugh maniacally while doing these things.
I also think I am very funny when I run around like a maniac weeble wobble with my hands straight above my head.
AS a matter of FACT, I just think I am darn funny. I kill myself! I should be in a room with an audience of me clones...the laughter would NEVER stop!
If it can fit in my mouth, I WILL eat it. If I can shove the whole thing in there, even better. That lego tasted darn good and so do those puzzle pieces! Why don't you serve THOSE for dinner, MOM?
And finally,
I love my Dad. He's the best. AND he's my fave person on the planet. (next to my stuffed blue dog.)

As for me? Pregnant, tired, ready to move and ready to meet five.
As for my better half? Tired, tired of me being pregnant, ready to move and ready to meet five.
For both of us? Amazed at our chaos, our family and our amazing kids. God is Good!

And so we wait.

2010-05-21T17:42:00.000-07:00

For our little man. No test results have given us any indication of a reason for the polyhydramnios. I've seen both my doctors and they've agreed upon June 4 as an induction date, barring any other developments. Today I learned that my little man had a few soft markers for down's syndrome at my 20 week anatomy scan, but that they seem to have resolved. After a bit of googling, I decided I just wasn't going to read any more. I need to remember my pledge to have faith and wait for God to reveal his plan for our family and this child.
The waiting just sucks. 2 more weeks. Pray for the time to fly and our positive resolve to remain strong.
I promise to post some fun pics and anecdotes about the 4 bigger mini macs soon!
Thanks to all of you for your thoughtful calls, emails, prayers and comments. They have made a huge impact on our family and our hearts.
Love to all,
Clan Mac Mama + 1

Trust is a funny thing...

2010-05-16T05:30:00.000-07:00

and I often find myself having the least amount of trust where I should have the most. NOOOO....I am not talking about my sweet hubby, that is just a given. :-) I am talking about trust in God, the ultimate source of all that is right, all that is comforting, all that we are blessed with as a family.
This latest little crisis with five has helped me turn a corner, reach a peace, find my center again. Thursday was awful after we left the doctor's office. I felt overwhelmed, discouraged, scared, angry, sad. So many things. Determined not to raise the alarm, I was only going to talk to my Moms & a few friends about what was going on. Well, as I sat on the couch late into the night, watching my shows and feeling my little man flip, twist and try to eviscerate my internal parts...I had a bit of a light bulb moment. That little sh*t with the horns was sitting directly on my shoulder, filling me with doubt, sadness and every one of those fears that was propelling my tears. Well! You all know how I hate being told what to do, so I just turned a bit, flicked that little sh*t off my shoulder and decided that the only person who could tell me what to do was telling me. He was whispering it in my ear. Faith. Have Faith. Trust in Me. Believe in Me. Know Me.

So here's what I did. I asked my Moms to pray for us. I posted it here. I posted it on facebook. And I'm going to tell everyone I can think of. I'm going to spread it near and far, widely disseminating our need for prayer. Because if I do, if I trust in Him, willingly accept whatever He thinks our family can handle, then we can. We can handle it. Through Him, in Him, with Him.

And I feel at peace. I sleep at night. I don't have dreams of what might be. (I do dream about water and pressure, then wake up and realize it's just me having to pee AGAIN...)
Am I still nervous? Yep. Am I still filled with questions? You betcha. Do I still feel like my life is about to implode? Nope. Because I know this. If He takes you to it, He will lead you through it. (Thanks Kristin!)

So, please keep praying. Please keep us in your hearts. Please cover us with all of the faith we need. It gives us peace.

And the biggest thank you's in all of this go to my husband, who has not wavered once in his faith that we can handle whatever God sends our way. To my Moms, who have lifted us up in prayer and in faith that our son will be just fine. And to my friend Kristin, whose blog about her adoptions and her faith journey reminded me that I need to walk with God, not just occasionally drop in for a visit.
And finally, to that little sh*t, for sitting on my shoulder and thinking he could tell me what to do. You little idiot. If you knew anything at all about me (as my God does,) you'd know better! Ha Ha Ha Ha. God WINS again!!!!!

What our family needs right now is,

2010-05-13T19:26:00.000-07:00

prayer.
I had no intentions of posting this or sharing this news. I expressed to both my Mom & Mom in law today that I didn't really want to share this with anyone, that I really just needed them to put their prayer warrior hats on and get that pipeline to God moving. And then I realized that if I don't share it, I don't get all of those prayers that I know we need right now.
I found out monday that I have polyhydramnios. (In a nutshell, too much amniotic fluid.) The cause is as yet unknown, pending some tests I've had and will have tomorrow. We are praying mightily that the cause lies with me and not our little bean. Without getting into details, there are many possible causes for this condition, some that stem from me and some from the baby. And then there are those that have no reason at all (idiopathic.) If my test results are negative, we will have to wait for my little man's birth to ensure that he is ok. So, for the first time ever in my life, I am praying hard for something to be wrong with me. Just me. Not our baby, my little bean, my five.
Please understand if I don't want to talk to much about this. I have to figure out how to get through the next few weeks until they induce me without thinking about this every second of every day. Please just put us in your prayers and send all of the positive thoughts you can our way. Please. Just pray.

With all of our love,
the clan mac

Dear Mom,

2010-05-08T20:49:00.000-07:00

Mom and her girls

I never knew, until Eva was born, how much you loved me. I never knew, until she went off to her first day of school, how scared you felt when it was my first day. I never knew, until I had Charley, that all that fear I felt about loving the 2nd as much as the 1st was just silly. I never knew, until I had Max & Mercy, that I could have enough room in my heart for them too.
There is so much I never knew. And so much more that I am grateful for. And so much more I have to learn. And so much I can learn just from being your daughter.
My Mom gives of herself even when she has nothing left to give.
My Mom supports me, listens to me, tells me the way it is.
My Mom makes my kids feel like they are the utter and absolute center of her universe. Just like she made me feel when I was growing up.
My Mom always makes me feel like I can do "it," whatever "it" is.
My Mom accepts me. For me. Loves me the way I am.
My Mom drops everything when her kids need her.
My Mom dropped everything when her Mom needed her. And showed my siblings and I what it truly means to unconditionally love your family. In a way that words cannot describe, but that my heart knows is utterly amazing.
My Mom means more to me than I could ever tell her.
She is my rock.
She is my friend.
She is my counselor.
She is my Mom.
And on this day, like every day, I am blessed. I am grateful. I am loved.
By my one, my only, my best. Mom.

I love you so much Mom! Happy Mother's Day!!

Nana and her girls!

This is usually what happens on holidays. My Mom cooks and we act like idiots. :-)

Nana and my girls after a very successful egg hunt!

Nana and Charley searching for more loot!

Charley Mac turned four today!

2010-05-04T18:29:00.000-07:00

She celebrated with lots of play!
First morning gifts and cards to open,
For many presents she was a-hopin.'
A taste of the sky, a run in the rain,

This joy, I pray, will never wane.
If you need proof that God exists,
Just witness this child's pure bliss.
A date to play with 2 great friends,
A day of fun she hopes never ends.
Toys cars, a movie, some bendaroos,
a watch, flip flops, pretty charms too!
We capped her day with chick fil-a,
favorite chicken, ice cream and lots more play! Surrounded by mini macs and big sis Eva,
She's such a sweet lil' girl, never a diva!
Happy Birthday, my bean. My little sidekick.
My days with you are always a kick!
I'm 4 today, you said with pride,
it made my heart swell just like the tide.
I'm almost grown up! You said to Grandpa,
Tearing the heart right out of your Ma!
Happy Birthday to you, Charley Anne,
Love your Mama, your biggest fan!

Timing is...

2010-04-11T22:11:00.000-07:00

everything. And, truthfully, not one bit in our control. As a society of people striving for the "American Dream," we endeavor to time each and every parcel of our lives to fit our neatly planned future.
Well, guess what. I'm here to tell you that....
timing really isn't everything.
Let me tell you about mine.
I tried to time the birth of my first little bean with the end of my senior year in college. Figured it would take a while. Guess what? NOT SO MUCH. Which is exactly why I am exactly one year away from the end of my senior year and that 8.5 x 11 piece of parchment paper that tells me I finished something besides my dessert, workout rotations and Marine Corps bootcamp.
Well, then I figured I could time little bean #2 to be just the right number of years younger than #1. HA. 18 months of fertility struggles, one ridiculous allergic reaction and a trip to Hawaii later and #2 was way behind schedule.
So, then I figured #3 should be right on the heels of #2 and lo and behold, he almost was. Sadly, my baby bean was an angel before I ever met him. I may have never held my little boy, but he holds my heart squarely in his tiny little palm.
WELL, you all know what happened next. Another round of help and we're onto the clan mac twin beans. Right smack in the middle of an Iraq deployment and TBS. (don't forget the cross country move and PCS to NC.)
To top it all off? Clan Mac bean #5 slides into home base for the final run.
Let's add building a house, homeschooling and attempting to reclaim myself? HOLY CRAP, that is some serious chaos.

The point? Timing really isn't up to us. So quit trying to plan life to the nth degree and enjoy it for what it is right now. (I'm really talking to myself here and if you get the point, well GREAT!) Really, we think we're in control and REALLY, we're not. HE is. So, sit back, relax, fasten your seat belts and ENJOY THE RIDE. :-)

off to not plan another day...
(hah!)
tiff

Toddling, Teaching and Tummies...oh, and houses.

2010-04-07T04:49:00.001-07:00

are the focus of life in the clan mac right now!

Max the MAN is toddling around, lumbering from one toy to the next, arms up for balance, looking quite like the monkey. Mercy, on the other hand, refuses to walk, preferring to speed crawl or use her walker to get to her destination.

I am putting my teaching hat back on and taking the plunge...homeschool clan mac is officially opening up for business in the fall.

My tummy is growing by the day with our latest -as yet unnamed- little blessing.

AND, our house is plugging along, all gazillion square feet of it. We're praying all stays on schedule and we are in like by flynn by June 30.

So let me start my little update by simply saying...
1. No, I am not worried about socializing my children b/c they will be homeschooled. I don't WANT them socialized in our screwed up modern day version of Soddom and Gomorrah, that's WHY I am homeschooling.
2. No, I do not think that I am better than the wonderful teachers that dedicate their lives to our children. I think our system is broken and they do the absolute best they can. I just want something different for my kids.
3. No, I do not think my kids will be weird. I'm not weird. Charles isn't weird. And who cares, really, if they are? All kinds of folks make up the world, so what on earth would this world be like without some really cool weird kids to invent all the stuff that makes our lives so convenient? (Pretty sure Bill Gates was a total weirdo geek. Would LOVE to have his brains and money.)
4. Yes, I know I'll be busy. Pretty sure I am right now, since I have 4 kids that are 7, 3, 15 mos and 15 mos AND I am an incubator again. What's one more to the chaos? Heck, it can't get any more crazy. What's a little breastmilk and some more poopy diapers to add to the fun of our days?
5. And finally, I'm tired of trying to explain dieting, earrings in boys, broken rules, crappy school food options, "no those pants don't make you look fat," why they don't pray before meals and how to fend off mean bus brats.
6. Oh, and one more finally. WE know that we can't raise our children in a bubble, but we can raise them in our faith, with our values and with the education we wish them to have. And this is how we choose to do it. Not as an indictment of our school systems or any other family's choices. Each family has to do what it takes to make their unit work. And this choice is ours.

As for my tummy? My little man just keeps getting bigger and bigger! I'm frequently informed that I look like I've swallowed a basketball. I'm not sure what they'll call it in another month... "Oh, aren't you cute? You're all baby! It's just like you swallowed a ... (fill in the blank here with a giant round object of your choice.)"

And, lastly, for the dream house we've waited almost 20 years for? Well, folks....

Here it is!!
Pray for June 15 closing!!

Well, that's all for now folks!
love,
the clan mac mama +1

Binkie Wars...

2010-02-25T04:58:00.000-08:00

and silly faces!
Having 4 kids is like having your own stand up comedy show troupe. Yesterday was particularly entertaining as I got to watch Mercy repeatedly steal Charley's binky, which Charley promptly stole back. In the midst of this, my frighteningly smart 3 year old is spelling out my name (not Mom, Tiffany...) on her leapster while Mercy attempts to put in her own letters and eat the leapster pen. All accompanied by Max's maniacal laugh once he got involved and got Charley going on the "spit out binkie with projectile force to make Max giggle" project. This was later followed by the "push and shove" contest to see which mini mac could attack Mommy first. I must say, Max is no longer taking Mercy' crap. He plows right over her if the mood strikes. Ah, the complexities of twindom. Things are getting very interesting...

Here's some cutie patootie pics to prove my kids are adorable...

Mercy...making a "can I make it to open this cabinet before she catches me" face. Either that or it's the poop face.

Mercy...making the "look, I'm smiling for the camera" sploosh face. THIS is why I have no smiling pics of that little terd.

Eva & Charley making the "it snowed, we're cold and we conned Mom into hot cocoa, marshmallows and cookies...what can we get out of her next..." faces. :-)

Max...the "seriously, you are going to take a picture of this?" face.

Proof that these little terds NEVER let me take a pic with 2 smiling babies.

ah... "self portrait with favored stuffed animal of the moment..." by Eva

What happens when your kids steal your camera. :-)

well...that's it for now. Gotta post on the mini mac birthday and all the latest for our clan. I'll get there....
love,
clan mac mama + 1

Febrile Seizures are horrible.

2010-02-17T04:01:00.000-08:00

As Charles and I now know firsthand. Yesterday afternoon, our little man suffered one when he spiked a high fever. Charles was home alone with the minis and Charley when Max had the seizure. Thank the Lord he had the presence of mind to stay calm, dial 911, keep Mercy from heading downstairs alone and follow the 911 operators instructions while waiting for the paramedics. I can't honestly say I'd have been as calm.

Praise God that he seems to be fine. They ran some tests yesterday at the hospital and sent him home in the early evening. After an hour or 2 of lethargic crankiness, he seemed to perk up and be back to his usual happy, hungry and silly self. I never thought seeing the smile of one of my children could make me get down on my knees and Praise God for His goodness while I sobbed.

To my friends Michelle and Brian: I am in awe of you both. How you have stayed strong and faithful while each of your children have dealt with 22Q and cancer, respectively, I will never know. What amazing parents you are. Yesterday opened my eyes in a totally new way to a world of parents who have to dig to the depths of their souls to stay strong enough to raise sick children. One febrile seizure and I was ready to fall apart. And I'm still a little shaky. Fell asleep thanking God and woke up tearful this morning, still thanking God. Charles looked at me last night and said, "I think it's going to be a while before I can get that image of Max out of my head." I feel so horrible that he went through that alone. Just another testament to the strength and grace of my husband as a father. You are amazing, Love.

My children are my life. It's not always an easy life, but it is one I wouldn't trade for anything. Nothing. Not one single solitary thing could change my love and desire to be their mother. Thank you Lord, for keeping my baby safe. Thank you for my husband. Thank you for every amazing person who has walked through my life because of these beautiful souls you have given me.
Thank you God. For keeping my Max safe.

Honing in on the beacon...

2010-02-15T05:21:00.000-08:00

that locates me. Hoping that regular blogging will return me to myself. Might try to sew a seam or two, turn off the tv, call a friend...
I used to think that I'd always find the time for the things that define me, the things I enjoy. I read some of my friends blogs and they are filled with wonderful crafts, family adventures, traditions, books to read, you name it. And I wonder if they have clones I'm unaware of, nannies hidden in the rafters? Hmmmmm.
But really, I think I'm just pregnant (AGAIN) and really really really really tired. And being so sick certainly didn't help.
Is it sad that I count the years until the younger 4 are like Eva? Self sufficient, willing to eat what I make, able to dress, wash, wipe, brush, fix food, use the remote, find stuff for me? I do appreciate the wonders of the little years, but sometimes I think they just get lost in all the crazies of many children under 4.
Ah, the day has flown by in a whirlwind of activity and this blog has sat...lonely and neglected, until it's owner has returned. Too tired to write anything else and ready to stare at the tv in mindless wonder.
send me home when you find me. :-)

love,
clan mac mama + 1

Down the rabbit hole...

2010-02-13T17:31:00.000-08:00

I have gone. Sometimes I think that I've completely lost myself in this crazy busy life. I don't write, I don't sew, I don't sing, I don't teach. Where Have I Gone? If you find me, can you send me back? I miss Me.
Me has been replaced by a short order cook, chauffer, maid, incubator, maid...etc...
I wear the same clothes all the time because I am pregnant AGAIN and nothing is comfortable.
I am too tired to do anything but stare at the tv when I am not fulfilling previously aforementioned roles.
I forget birthdays.
I don't answer emails.
I don't buy cards for people.
I don't remember to call people back.
I don't remember to be nice as much as I would like to be.
I don't have any idea how I am going to function after June.
Ugh.
I'm going to stare at the tv.

Women's Healthcare Associates of Jacksonville...

2010-02-07T17:49:00.000-08:00

is irresponsible and incompetent. Following are the details of my letter to the head of the practice.

Mrs. Tiffany McCawley
303 Trappers Rd
Hubert, NC 28539
Phone (910) 333-0461

February 8, 2010

Dr. Timothy Edwards
Women’s Health Associates
…..
Jacksonville, NC 28540

Dear Dr. Edwards,

Today I received a registered form letter from your office, terminating my care. To say that I was taken aback by such action would be an understatement. Frankly, I am utterly shocked that as a physician you would take such action with consulting with me first. I feel that the events that occurred this week in connection with my medical care have been extremely distressing, to say the least.

If you have reviewed my chart, which I doubt, you would have learned that I am pregnant with my 5th child, and that my other children are aged 7, 3 and 1 year old (my twins.) I have been ill for over a month and have done everything in my power to get well. I have rested, I have taken approved medications, I have consulted doctors. You would have also learned that I have a history of HELLP syndrome, which I experienced with my second child. In my previous pregnancy with the twins and with this pregnancy, I was warned by my maternal fetal medicine specialists to be especially aware of any time I was ill, since bacterial infections and illness can increase the risk of an occurrence or reccurence of HELLP. At my most recent appointment with Dr. Middleton, I was prescribed Augmentin (my second course of antiobiotics, the first was Zithromax just 2 ½ weeks earlier) for a sinus infection. By the time of my visit with Dr. Wright 12 days later, I was still not well and had finished my course of Augmentin. Dr. Wright told me that I needed to get my sinus issues under control and recommended I get a referral for ENT. He also told me that I should be vigilant for signs of HELLP. While I had a few days where I thought I was on the road to recovery, by Saturday of last week, I was back to feeling terrible again. I spent all day Sunday and most of Monday sick in bed. On Tuesday my husband put in for leave so that I could see the doctor and hopefully find a solution to put me on the road to recovery. I called your office to make an appointment and was told that I could not be seen in the office because I might “contaminate” it. I explained to both the receptionist and the nurse that I did not think I had the flu, but that I was continuing to have issues with my sinuses. I was told again that I could not be seen in the office and that I was to go to either the urgent care clinic or the ER/L&D. I finally just gave up and said I would go to the ER/L&D. I wished to be seen by my OB to ensure that everything was still ok with the baby and that my body was not having any adverse reactions to my extended illness. Due to my history of HELLP and my 3 miscarriages, I tend to be a bit on the skittish side. If you had made any effort to communicate with me prior to the letter you sent, you would have been aware of this.

As this is my 5th child and 7th pregnancy (in 3 different states and 1 foreign country), I have seen several different Obstetricians both on and off base. Each of those physicians has been caring, concerned, thorough and patient. After my first visit to your office and with Dr. Middleton, I was under the impression that I had again found a good fit for my situation. I came to your office from the Crist Clinic, which I left for 2 reasons. They are not child friendly and abortions are performed in office, which I am uncomfortable with. I did not leave due to any conflict or lack of acceptable medical care. Especially with my limited options here in Jacksonville, I am distressed that you would take this action without having spoken with me or researched this matter any further. If Tanya or Peggy was offended that I was so upset, I apologize. However, I think you have to understand that I have been extremely ill and by now, quite concerned about my health. I was very sick in much this same fashion during my pregnancy with Charley and that was when I developed the HELLP syndrome. To add to my stress and concern, I was refused an appointment because your staff was told they could be fired for allowing a patient with flu symptoms to come into the office (which I tried to tell them I did NOT have), I was sent to L/D where I was told to go home, rest and “get a babysitter,” then given misinformation regarding follow up care. (I was told that Hazel would try to get my referral pushed through and that she would try to see if she could help me get an ENT appointment right away.) In addition, during my visit to L/D Peggy told me she didn’t understand why I was even refused the appointment and that if I was not better by Friday, I should come back in to the office. I called your office on Friday to find out that status of the referral request and ENT appointment, as I was told when I spoke with TriCare that they had no record of a request. When I called I was informed that Hazel was not there, that there was no record of any of this in my chart and that there was nothing that could be done to help me. I asked why I was not called and told that they could not help me with the referral or ENT and was told that no one in the office knew what the situation was and that they could not help me as they were just “stuck in the middle.”
I am sure that I could continue to address this issue further, as I am quite upset with this situation, but I feel that I have made my point. Your actions and the actions of your office were irresponsible and unacceptable. I will be sending a copy of this letter to TriCare, Onslow County Memorial, the State Board and to the Naval Hospital. At the very least, I feel that I deserve an apology for your unwillingness to research this issue before you took it upon yourself to terminate my care. As my chart should have told you, I am high risk for several reasons and your actions only served to exacerbate my stress. Although pregnancy is a wonderful and joyous celebration, there are times when it can cause or increase levels of stress. As a physician, you and your staff should be aware of and understanding of situations that increase or contribute to those factors. As a physician, I thought you took an oath to “first do no harm.” You may want to reread that oath when dealing with patients already under great stress.
And just in case you were wondering, I got rest and a babysitter, as well as my husband taking almost a week off of work. And I am still sick. Do you suppose an ENT referral and a visit with a doctor who actually addressed my symptoms might have been helpful had I been afforded that opportunity? And just for your information, my OB in previous pregnancies addressed any and all illnesses that arose that might lead to an issue with myself or my unborn child.

Sincerely,

Tiffany M. McCawley

Riddlelove and a free ergo baby carrier...

2010-02-03T05:53:00.000-08:00

are on this great blog: riddlelove
I subscribe to the newsletter for the homegrown family, and received a blurb about an ergo baby carrier giveway. SO, I decided to pass the word on (welul, it was my way of entering the contest AND passing the word about 2 great blogs) to those of you who might be in need of a baby carrier. Which, based on the fact that I am one of the only people left still having children, is probably about 3 of you. :-) But, hey, 3 peeps is better than none!
SO, check them out for great recipes, great baby gear and great blogging.
Enjoy!
Clan Mac Mama

The bottomless pit and the human brick turn 1...

2010-01-24T06:18:00.000-08:00

with, unfortunately, a minimum of fun. :-( Poor Maxman was sick and not up for cake, so we decided to forgo any cake crazies until the big party. Which, I PROMISE, I am planning. I refuse to give my children reasons to see a therapist later in life, so a big 1 year party it is. LOL

Shock and awe. Pretty much sums up year 1 of the mini macs! Well, I could also say it was amazing, beautiful, challenging, tiring, energizing, surprising.... so many things. Have you ever looked something up on microfiche in the library? As you look through the reel it just zooms by, a blur of headlines, faces, pictures and words. THAT is what year one of the mini macs felt like to me. An awesome blur of big moments, little triumphs, helpful faces, beautiful images, sweet sounds and words of memories that flit by at the speed of "microfiche."

We started in an amazing series of moments that brought my little beans safely into the world, where they were surrounded by the love of an amazing cast of helpful characters who kept Mommy and kiddos (all of them) alive and fed while Daddy had to depart for far away places once again. We threw a few moves in there to keep things crazy, fell over from shock when we found out "five" was on his way, decided that building a house to move into the same month we meet five was a smashingly good idea and have spent an amazing year watching all of our children become the most fantastic little unit.

I'll never forget the fear I felt when I laid down on that table in my doctors office, just waiting to hear if there was even a heartbeat of the baby we thought we were having. I thought I was going to fall off the table when the nurse quietly smiled as she looked up and told us, "well, it's good news! both babies look great." For the first time in my life, I think I was utterly speechless. Sometimes I get that way all over again, when I'm struck by how much joy and light these 2 little miracles have brought into our lives.

So Thank You God, for my babies. All of them. Here's to you and your blessings!!

And now on to the update...

The bottomless pit...
I know you're thinking this can't be Mercy, that dainty little thing! HAH! That child might be tiny, but she is anything BUT dainty. She shovels food by the fistfuls, speed eating her way through every meal, where she manages to scoot herself far enough over to steal her brother's food (to which he responds by pulling off her bib and grabbing her hand..."hey, that's MINE!") or she pushes herself far enough back from the table to reach down and forage in her seat for all the food she has scattered down there during the shoveling process. I have no earthly idea where all that food goes, but man can she eat!
She is still a petite bean, but I think the food she eats is increasing her lung capacity daily. I thought Charley had a set of lungs. HOLY COW, this child is DEAFENING. And the frequency of which she voices her displeasure (quite often, I might add) is the "pluck mommy's last nerve" one. The upside to this? There will never, ever, ever, ever, be a bully stupid enough to mess with my Mercy. Add the screaming to the size of her brother? Scary!
So what, pray tell, has this little bean been doing of late? Well....
Speed crawling to the nearest "object de intereste." The speed increases if she thinks her brother will get to it first.
Dancing. On her butt, on her feet, in her seat, in the air, she is dancing everywhere! IF there is music in any level of earshot, she is a movin' and a groovin'. It's FABulous. and hysterical.
Pulling up on every imaginable stable and unstable surface she can get her grubby little hands on.
Cruising the hallways with her new walking toys, as she has deemed this is more efficient than actually learning to walk.
Checking out her hair, especially when her hands are covered with food... Punk.
Teething, teething and more teething...especially at 3 am. Ugh.
Smiles, Kisses, Hugs, tons of laughter and endless love for all things McCawley, especially her big sisters!

And now, drum roll please..........
The Human Brick.
And yes, I do mean brick. Carrying that little caveman is like hefting a cinder block around all day. I have NEVER met a baby that solid. Even my brother, who was definitely a big boy as a baby, had NOTHING on the stay puff man. Solid, ankleless and wristless, with shoulders like a linebacker, I have not one shred of doubt that my little man is headed for big boy land!
I have also not ever seen a baby eat that deliberately in my life. I think he's just trying to avoid smearing his ever present green snot into his mouth, so he is VERY careful about how he picks up and ingests his little bites. And as for eating? What a picky little terd. I must say, he has definitely inherited my aversion to anything green and healthy. Thankfully, he has also inherited my love of anything fruity and healthy. So, we might not eat too much green, but holy cow we tear through some fruit.
Butt bouncing like Tigger is his hysteria inducing trait. I just want to dress him in orange and black and attach a tail! :-) He also LOVES to plow over his sister in any effort to get to a toy first, get her toy, take her binkie, knock her over and NOW, steal her food too. And he does it all with this great, big, sh*t eating grin. It keeps the rest of us extremely entertained!
A ham, he is the most photogenic of all the clan mac minis and I am pretty sure he has never taken a bad picture. If there is a camera in a 30 feet radius, he is either looking at with a silly grin, a funny face or a serious "uh, what's up here?" look OR he is attempting to steal the camera to eat it. :-)
Speaking of eating things, he is the ultimate tiny taste tester. He will put anything, and I do mean anything, into his mouth. And he does it with lightning speed. Tends to send me into fits of screaming "open your mouth, spit it out, what the heck is that? DON'T EAT THAT!!" Watching my kiniptions is almost as comical as watching Max crawl over and yank Mercy's binkie from her mouth and pop it into his own. (Another favorite twin terror tactic.)
He will sleep through a surprising amount of chaos and always smiling when you pop the door open in the morning.
All boy, he other favorite pasttime is beating, throwing and banging just about anything he can get his hands on. He and Charley have a most wonderful time attempting scar up the few nice things I have managed to keep the military from wrecking over the years!

These twin terrors are certainly nothing like I expected, everything I love and, quite possibly, the best thing to happen to every member of this family. They have taught us patience and perseverance, they have increased our love in this family more than I ever thought possible and they have made me believe that I can do anything, including have yet another little bean!

Happy Birthday my sweet sweet sweet baby beans.
We Love You!!!
Here it is... Your very first birthday poem!

On January 20, 2009...
at just about a quarter to nine,
they told us that you'd soon be here.
So with just a bit of fear, we let out a great big cheer!
Mercy arrived at 1:02,
followed in a bit by baby two.
Little Max took his own sweet time,
arriving later at one one nine.
Thus began life as a family of six,
a crazy, kooky, wacky, maniacal mix!
In the whirlwind chaos of your 12 months,
you grew into such adorable runts!
Completed our family is what you did,
your effervescent joy made us flip our lid!
Happy Birthday to Mercy,
Happy Birthday to Max,
Our wonderful, adorable, twin mini macs!!

Putting it in writing...

2010-01-06T17:28:00.000-08:00

For 2010!
I promise to TRY very hard to....

1. not be late for stuff with my kids (this may necessitate shaving my head and not wearing make-up. Oh, the sacrifices we make for our spawn.)

2. make it to the gym 3 mornings a week at 8:30. (this is necessitated by preggo state #5, my dropping behind and the crap I crave on a regular basis.)

3. live on a budget. (I REALLY WANT MY OWN HOUSE. enough said.)

4. get my God MOJO rolling again. (This means all my GOD MOJO mamas need to move here... so get packing Nancy, Cheryle, Vanessa, Shannon, Franca, Holly & Emily!)

5. be even more organized. (Yes, I know this is a sickness. But I do NOT wish to be medicated. It just makes me happy to be a complete neat freak. and organizational freak. and...well, I'm just REALLY type A.)

6. appreciate my children right now. in this moment. even when I am ready to go all bonzo on them and my fun meter is pegged. :-)

SO... what about you? What will you do in the New Year?

Love,
the pregopotamus

The little bean makes the Christmas letter green...

2009-12-25T13:42:00.000-08:00

Well, thanks to PITR, (I'll let you decipher...) the Clan Mac Christmas letter is officially paperless and (pat myself on the cloth diapering back...) green this year. If I really like all of you, I might still send out the photo so you can see how ridiculously cute the kids are this year. Can you tell I'm a bit punchy at this point? Up till 2, 4 kids in my room at 3:45 am informing me that it's Christmas, to which I responded something I will not put in print, up again at 7, then 7:45 and finally down to Santa's goodies at 8:30. Opening til TWELVE (and more when the m-n-m's woke from their nap,) cooking, snacking, chatting... and well, I am just plum exhausted. As is the rest of this extended clan.
My family all joined us this year for the holidays and we are blessed to be able to celebrate this important day together. So many members of my extended family are celebrating alone this year and many friends are celebrating without their husbands, so I feel especially blessed to have more than my share of family to revel in the joy of Christmas with.
And now, without further adieu, the clan Mac Christmas letter...

December 13, 2009

HA! I’m doing it! I am writing this Christmas letter AND sending a picture. THAT is a true Christmas miracle. Considering the demographic of our ever expanding family, the fact that we even took a picture in matching clothing should be enough to elevate us to superhuman status. So enough patting myself on the back and on to the more important things in life!

2009 has been a year that will live in infamy for the clan mac. I feel like I just survived a war or something. Well, I guess we sort of did! Deployment, promotion, 2 babies, 3 moves, stolen jewelry, 6 new teeth, solid feeding, cloth diapering and a whole list of other crazy stuff! But in the midst of all that craziness, I find myself extremely grateful and blessed this Christmas season as we celebrate with our bigger, better and soon to be expanding clan! Yep, in case you hadn’t heard yet, clan mac mini #5 is due June 17. I was reassured today by a mom of TEN that it all kind of runs together after #3, so I think we might survive. We are (finally) very excited and praying fervently for a healthy, happy baby… nope we don’t know yet! And yes, we will find out, since I must be high to think I can possibly wait. I am WAY too impatient for that!

The kids are amazing. I can’t believe how much they have changed in this last year.

Eva...

My 1st baby girl, is now a 1^st grader, learning like a maniac and loving (almost) every minute of school. Her new school is wonderful so far and she has settled right in, making new friends and becoming an expert on all things Queens Creek. Still in gymnastics, She has now taken up horseback riding and loves her weekly time with Mr. Butch and Becky. But, I have to say that by far, Awana is Eva’s favorite activity each week. She loves learning her verses and spending the extra time at church. I really get the riot act from her when we miss Sunday service! Ever the social butterfly, she adores playing with her new friends and going on (rare) outings with Mommy. Over the last few months, she has really turned a corner and really loves to help me with the babies, the house and... CHORES!! How do I perpetuate this attitude into the teen years? If you have the secret, I'll pay dearly for it... :-)

Charley...

has grown like a weed in this last year. And not just physically! She has gone from toddler to preschooler in the blink of an eye. Sometimes I just plain forget that she can conversate with me on the level of her first grade sister and am surprised at the compound sentences she spews at me randomly. While she may have left toddlerhood in the dust, she has certainly not left Mommy in the dust and prefers to spend most of her time with me. Although, She has finally decided that a weekly 3 hour gymnastics/craft program and a standing playdate with Haley are an acceptable break from the Mom, she still has not ONE ounce of desire to spend her days at school. And she certainly doesn't need the instruction, since she has managed to teach herself just about any skill you can think of, to include ABC's & 123's (by sight, almost written and definitely phonetically,) how to work my camera, Charles' phone and the overly complicated dish network remote (just to name a few!) She adores helping Mommy and Daddy, playing with her sibs and jumping like a bean all over the house (to include the furniture...ARGH.) She and Eva are obsessed with Scooby and fill their limited tv time with the adventures of Scooby and the gang. And finally, what would Christmas be without a funny from Charley..Last night as we left the church proper and headed over to pick up the bigs, Charley came tearing down the hallways with her big sis and cousin. When I had the audacity to instruct her to put on her coat, she promptly told me to "put a sock in it!" While I'm pretty sure I don't say that regularly, I must have uttered it at least once. Oops.

Mercy...

by far the most social, most demanding, loudest and quickest of all my kiddos. That child has a set of lungs that could blow out an opera house. And she is SO not shy about using them. All the time. Whenever she feels she needs attention, whenever she wants Mommy, whenever she's hungry... well pretty much all the time. That child is such a stinker punk. Too smart for her own drawers, she is a bit frightening in a not fully babyproofed house. (which is definitely the downside of renting...) She is constantly in motion, whether she is on the move after something or someone or just dancing around. And I do mean dancing. It is the cutest thing I swear I've ever seen. (well maybe not cuter than Max bouncing like tigger on his butt...) If there is music in earshot, she is a movin'! Tiny, she weighs a full 6 lbs less than her (big) little brother. You'd never know how much food she manages to shovel in and how often she "doth protest" when she is hungry. She also likes to snatch Max's toys and thinks his hair is a pull toy. That poor little man...

Speaking of

MAX...

man. my big little caveman. Man of Max. The Maxster. The stay puff marshmallow man. My little brick house. Oh that sweet little man. He is, by far, the happiest and sweetest child I have given birth too. His smiles could melt the heart of the devil. And definitely of every one he meets. He's a bit of a doppelganger for MY "big" little brother, right down to the lewis eyebrows and the silly sideways smile. He taste tests everything in his path and scares the crap of a momma of girls who LOVE toys with VERY chokeable parts. So far, I've popped out a chewed up tag, a rubber ball, a letter dice, and a grape. I REALLY need to update my CPR/First Aid certs. The hazards of parenthood... He loves to snuggle, ADORES his dad, loves to stand up (now that he has finally hauled his chubby butt up) and is, oddly enough, a VERY neat eater!

As for both of them in this last year...

6 teeth for Max

Almost 6 for Mercy

Speed crawling (Mercy)

lumbering slowly with rest stops in between (Max

tried and rejected baby food (both)

LOVE real food

1st visit to library storytime

ear infections

baths in the big tub

BIG wet kisses, sweet huggy snuggles

pumpkin pickin, trick or treating, visits with Santa , a few road trips, 3 moves... and finally...

a new little mini mac to pick on come June.

As for me and the man...

we are tired, happy, blessed, busy, and more in love today than ever before. On the worst of days, I am happier now than I've ever been. I don't have time to read, sew, blog, work out, hang out or even take a shower some days. But I'll get there. And the four (soon to be five) little macs that fill my days with love and wonder make it all worth it.

What a year it has been...filled with wonder, love, turmoil, change, and not a little bit of angst. But as it draws to a close, I am amazed at how it has all wrapped up.

A baby bean.

A wedding ring

the joy my family brings

A simple poem that says it all. I hope this season of joy finds all of you blessed and grateful for what the Lord has provided. I am thankful for each and every one of you that reads this, as you have touched my life and my family and continue to do so. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to each of you! And to the Saperstein Family, Happy Hanukkah!

With Love,

The Incubating Pregopotamus and Clan Mac Mama

Turkey, pie and a spark in my eye....

2009-12-09T04:52:00.001-08:00

Mommy and Max

Dude, what is up with that hair?
(Mini Mercy is FASCINATED with hair!)

Nana and the minis

Whew! Crazy days of packing, traveling, visiting, eating, shopping, more packing, more traveling, attempting to decorate for Christmas and remember to breathe and eat...
Jeepers. Sometimes I feel like one of those little balls that jumps around in a machine, pinging off all the sides but never stops. Well, actually I do feel like that. All the time. Which leads to my lack of posting, calling, decorating and well, just about everything except keeping my head above the laundry stacks.
I have a sewing room. It has a sewing machine, notions and tons of fabric. It's very pretty. The only thing I ever use it for is to sit at my computer and pay bills or something. Certainly don't use it to blog. LOL
I have a BIG yard. It has toys strewn all over the back of it and we look like the NC version of the beverly hillbillies. I'm sure my neighbors love us.
I have a front yard with flower beds. The shrubs are hideous and I refuse to spend my money landscaping yet another house that isn't mine, so we just keep trimming them back, hoping they don't look as bad as we think they do. Add the never ending weeds and OOOHHHH, I might win "trashy yard of the month."
I have a brain. It's fried. Because of the very cute little people you see below. I might be stupid now, but these kids sure are great, so it's all worth it. :-)

Playroom Chaos...

Playtime!

Ivy and the Max Man

Evie and Aunt Sammy mugging for self shots!

Nana and her littlest diva

Type A mini tiff in training!

Seriously? Who is cuter?
Even with the major snot?

How does she do that? I wanna do it!

Aunt Sammy and Haley with the littlest beans.

Eva, Charley, JoJo & Ivy, proudly posing with Eva's new horse for her Julie doll. This time of year is like a gift-a-palooza for my oldest bean! Happy Birthday!! The best gift of all was her cousins, Aunt Sammy and Nana surprising her for a weekend visit! More on that soon...

And finally, our biggest surprise of all....

Clan Mac bean #5

And yes, there is only one.
And yes, I know how this happens.
And no, we did NOT plan it.
And yes, I will be busy. (am i not already?)
Now taking reservations for live in help for next summer. And well, forever.
Send donations for the suburban fund to...
Wish us luck! and pray for sanity!

Love to all,
the clan mac mama (+1. again.)

Turkey Day is zooming in...

2009-11-23T05:17:00.000-08:00

so I guess I'd better post Halloween pics!

Our (doubled from last year!) clan pumpkin picking at Mike's Farm

2 Happy Halloweenies celebrating with face paint at the carnival!

Halloween Storytime with Mason the Dragon!
I TOTALLY conned Charley into wearing this costume because I selfishly still love it, since it was my first endeavor into making stuff for my kiddos!

BIG BABY BUMBLEBEE and his petite little flower...

Our crazy little beans ready for some candy huntin'!

OOOOOOHHHHHHHH....scary punkins!

One VERY scary little ghost and the Princess of the Ice Kingdom
(Makes sense since Charley scares the crap out of me most of the time and Eva has boiling water in her veins.)

The bigs returning from round #2 of treating... Daddy is so much nicer than Mommy. I made them walk, like I HAD to when I was a kid. See, my parents were mean and made me & my sister walk to all the houses. My brother, on the other hand, got a chauffered hayride around the neighborhood. Hee Hee Hee....

Eva, TOTALLY brave, and so not scared of this awesome haunted house. (although...she did have a death grip on my hand...)

SO...
The night before Halloween, we had a great time visiting Mike's Farm. The hayride was a blast for the kiddos, picking pumpkins was a 1st for the kids and they loved it!... the food at that place was UNBELIEVABLE and the little carnival was just right for the night.

And Halloween was fun. The bigs got just enough candy to be happy and not so much that I had to haul it away in a wheelbarrow. Evie got to visit with Lauren, Brooke, Shawn and the gang after treating while Mommy raided her candy stash and hung out with my pals. I DO so miss the camaraderie and craziness of trick o' treating on base. These last 6 years have been so much fun and this year was definitely different... I think next year we'll just head over to Mandy's neighborhood for our crazy fix! That place is hoppin' on halloween!

Charley had a blast BOOING everyone and Eva was quite the Princess in her finery and high heel shoes. Mercy did some treating with her sisters for a bit while Max handed out candy (somewhat appropriate I guess... the tiny one goes on the run and the caveman grunts and chucks candy at kids...) with Daddy. Next year should be REALLY interesting with FOUR little tricksters running around!

It was so wonderful to have our whole family together for such a fun weekend! Can't wait for next year...I'm planning the costumes already!

Enjoy the pics!
love,
the clan mac mama

Eva Grace is now seven...

2009-11-11T18:26:00.000-08:00

crazy bigs at outback to celebrate!

what a gift she is from heaven!
Funny, sweet and silly too,
Help is what she loves to do!
Growing up, but not too fast,
I hope these years are not soon past!
So much joy my firstborn brings,
I especially love to hear her sing!
It fills me to the brim with pride
whenever she is by my side!
Such compassion and grace are in her heart,
She'll never set others apart!
Her laughter tinkles like the sweetest of bells,
Especially when a joke she tells!
Oh, my sweet little Eva Grace,
you make this world such a better place.
Thank you for the love you share,
and how often you truly show you care.
We love you more each and every day,
and are awed by your sweet and sunny rays!

Happy 7th Birthday Evie Grace. WE LOVE YOU!!

Mommy, Daddy, Charley, Max and Mercy

Birthday baking before the sugar sets in...

And after!!

Mommy and Mercy posing for photographer Charley...
(yes, she really took this. I swear she takes better pics than me!)

My other "set" of twins.
(might be easier to see if Mercy wasn't trying to eat the buzzer, but hey, we were all starving!)

Fall...

2009-11-08T06:48:00.000-08:00

is here! And, let me tell you, I am happier than a pig in you-know-what. It has been SIX years since I have lived with seasons, SIX years since I saw leaves change, smelled the scents of fall, went to a real pumpkin patch, rode on hay in a wagon, WELL, you get the picture! I am such a seasonal person and I am SO happy to be back east again. (And yes, I know our seasons here in NC are a bit less dramatic than you lucky ones up north, but I'll take what I can get!)

Life is mach 4 with our hair on fire most of the time. These minis keep up running. We are VERY lucky to have a wonderful babysitter who comes 2x per week, so we actually do get a bit of grown up time now and then. I think I'd eat mac and cheese every night to afford her. (well that wouldn't be too much of a stretch, since I actually love mac and cheese, possibly even more than my kids do.)

My life seems to be settling in to something of a routine. I'm really thankful to have several old friends and a few new ones around these parts, most that are just as crazy as me or are at least entertained by my antics! Our new church is nice, (the kids love it and Charles is clearly comforted by the preacher's words, since he is comfy enough to fall asleep there pretty regularly...) As for me, I'm surprised every day how much I actually like living here again. Never thought those words would come out of my mouth (or from my rapidly typing fingers.) Guess it's the slower pace of life, the lack of plastic people, the salt of the earthness of the locals and the simple weekends that make my heart smile. (Now, mind you, I am still in mourning for my CA shopping and pining for Nordstrom, but I am holding out for a trip home to satisfy my "how may I kiss your butt" shopping experience.)

As for my minis....
Oh boy, oh boy. Is Max a real boy! Truly a caveman, he has hamhocks bigger than my biceps, not a shred of neck, cheeks that are incredibly kissable AND the most devilish eyebrows I've seen since my brother Mark was a baby. (And he really favors Mark & he favors Charles too, so the best of the handsomest men in my life!) He has his bottom 2 teeth now, and seems to be chewing his way across the house, so i'm guessing a few more teeth are inbound. He has FINALLY started to figure out how to get his hefty self mobile, so he is "sort of" crawling/scooching/rolling his way around.

He is truly the happiest baby I have had and could spend hours chewing on some random object while staring at the ceiling fan and laughing. My personal fave is when flips onto his back and "stiffly" waves his arms and legs all over the place. He looks like a bug stuck on it's back, trying desperately to flip rightside. It is hysterical! (It's also reminiscent of boot camp for me, when they would yell grenade and if you didn't dive for cover fast enough, they'd make your roll over and act like a dead bug. Ah, those fondly humiliating memories...)

Mercy, Mercy, Mercy. The littlest estrogen member of this clan is most definitely the DIVA. Mostly a very happy little bean, she is prone to random silly crying, all the while staring at Mommy (or occasionally Daddy,) like, "can't you see I'm upset here? PICK ME UP!" This does impede my ability to multitask and do all my maidly duties. So, the laundry and dirt does pile up a bit more than my freakishly clean self would like. She is incredibly mobile, exploring EVERY nook and cranny of this house, squeezing her tiny self through every blockade I attempt to impose.

And tiny she is. Just now 17 lbs, she is still solidly in 3-6 mos and mostly feels like I'm holding air when I sweep her up. (Now, Max on the other hand...that's like holding a bowling ball. or two.) She is also VERY curious and wants to be aware of what's going on in every corner of the house. She has a little loop she makes around the downstairs to check everything out. She is not going to be pleased when she wakes up and discovers the new gates the handy hubby has set up. :-) I really enjoy watching caveman and the diva fight over toys now. Super cute and very entertaining. I also love watching them grab and smoosh each other. AND, finally... imagine my umm.... shock? when I walked into her room and discovered her standing up, holding on to the side of her crib yesterday. Oh, yeah. little terd. Oh, and she does FINALLY have her first tooth, lower left!

As for my bigs? WELL...................

that will have to wait for the next post. I am out of steam and need to attack the 154 piles of laundry awaiting my attention.
stay tuned for more fall adventures and the trick or treat update....

love,
tiff

here's the scoop...

2009-10-14T17:47:00.000-07:00

The M-n-M's are VERY BIG. (well max anyway. TWENTY-ONE lbs, Mercy a petite 16.)
They sit, they roll, they grab, they yell, they REALLY want to eat food.
Max officially has his first tooth, lower right front!
Mercy is mobile and off on her very own adventures of shoe eating and floor smacking.
Max eats everything. and I do mean everything.
Mercy, not so much. She just gives it a taste most of the time.
Max blows raspberry's and yells quite like a caveman.
Mercy NEVER stops yelling dadadadadadadada and I think we've added babababababababa.
WHERE is MAMAMAMAMA? I gave birth. to both of them. the way God intended. So don't feed me that malarky about dada and baba being easier to say.

Eva can READ! She can add/subtract, figure out tons of science stuff, spin a mean yarn (a tall tale, a great read...) be very compassionate (at school only, apparently) say "i forgot" to just about every single thing I tell her and melt me at one very sweet hug and "I love you mama."

Charley.... potty trained herself a few weeks ago. A few M-n-M's and a lot of positive encouragement and we are down to 2 in diapers. Just a few steps behind her big sis in the reading department, I do believe. Loves the mini's to death (and I do mean to death at times....)
loves to play with her pals at playgroup, thinks gymnastics is the coolest thing ever and is quite possible the sassiest little stinker in this family. My fave? "DON'T TALK TO ME!"

So, this is my idea of a catch up post.

love to all!
the crazy clan mac mama

Military Families facing yet another crisis...

2009-09-26T07:15:00.001-07:00

that our government holds at arm's length. Please read this blog:

http://continue-to-march.blogspot.com

Tracy Peterson & her family are in dire financial straits and are being forced into foreclosure and financial disaster. Please read her blog and contact your senators and representatives DEMANDING that the Homeowners' Assistance Program (http://hap.usace.army.mil/homepage.html), part of the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009, be fully funded and operational immediately.
It is bad enough that our country is in this financial mess, but when our servicemembers and their families are in a crisis that our government can resolve and should resolve, it makes my blood boil.

Funny, on my end, I spent most of yesterday morning on the phone arguing with a civilian and and a sergeant in the TMO office about our household goods weight entitlement. I KNOW what we rate, I KNOW we can resolve this issue and I KNOW that I cannot afford to have the government check my husband's pay for $2400 because they cannot manage to administer military moves in an effective manner. The red tape and hurdles that we have to jump through as military families are ridiculous. I have 4 children under 7, I have moved 5 times in 2 years, I was a Marine when that idiot sergeant was in diapers and I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS SH*T.

I am beyond proud that I served my country as a Marine, that my husband continues to serve and that our family continually supports him. I love my life most of the time. But it's times like these that make me want to drive a tank up on capitol hill and force every one of the overpaid and underworked "representatives" of our american people to LISTEN to our military families. I tell you what, if you gave me, Tracy and Michelle 15 minutes on Capitol Hill, it might just make life a little easier for our military and a whole lot more real to those who have no idea what it's like to live this life.

Goodbye Eva, See you later!

2009-09-24T04:47:00.001-07:00

chirps Charley, standing on the front porch, her hand waving like a pennant in the wind at the big yellow bus.

I'd freeze these moments, like frames in my mind's eye.
All of a sudden it feels like time is whipping by.
my sweet baby beans are shifting and changing
daily, my life, it is rearranging.
i don't want to wake with regret
that things they've done, i might forget.
lately i notice i don't hold my babies,
i don't stop what i'm doing, i'm constantly crazy.
what if tommorow comes way too fast
these precious times gone at last.
Lord, slow the clock and let it crawl
lest this mama miss it all.

The total tiff transformation...

2009-09-20T05:45:00.000-07:00

Change is in the air, I think. Must be the change of seasons, or the shock of life with 4 kids under 7, or well, just because I darn well feel like it!
So, for those of you who are aware of my attachment to long hair, this may shock you. So sit down or you'll fall down....
Before....

Middle...

After!

And I LOVE IT!!

in the blink of an eye...

2009-09-11T19:31:00.000-07:00

your children grow up. they change in a skinny minute. So many days I want to slow time to a crawl and burn the image of each moment in my brain.

Eva running across the front yard with the grace of a young filly, her hair a golden ribbon in the wind, her laugh tinkling like the sweetest of bells.

Charley standing at the door, clad in pink overalls and cowboy boots, her hair curling softly at her shoulders, "I go wich you, Mommy?"

Mercy sound asleep, curled on her side with her little fingers cupping her cheek, softly snoring.

Max turning to look at me as he wakes, serious and focused, his sweet face slowly curling a grin that simply melts my heart, his eyes lighting up and his eyebrows lifted to the sky.

If you have ever doubted the existence of God, look into the eyes of a child. You will see He lives there. And he entrusted these souls to you. Love them, Laugh with them, Linger in life with them.

Funny, how things never turn out the way you think they will...

2009-09-09T20:33:00.000-07:00

when you leave friends. or friends leave you. When you move as often as I do, you make friends fast and close. Your friends become your family. They keep your kids when you're in the hospital. They spend turkey day in your concrete dwelling, making one big family from so many little ones. They throw you surprise parties and baby showers. They dry your tears, laugh with you and at you. Drink too many bottles of wine and spill years old, painful secrets. They eat enough garlic to kill a horse with you at an all garlic restaurant, then head out to a club to play pool, sing karaoke and knock other drunks out with our smell. Their hubbies become your friends too, making sure you are so loopy getting ready to go into surgery that you have NO idea what embarrasing crap you spilled before they took a chunk out of your nose.
They love your kids like their own. They love you like a sister. And when it's time to go, you all swear you'll see each other every year. You'll talk often. You won't lose touch.
And you don't. at first. then everyone gets busy. the calls and the emails get fewer and farther apart. until you just don't even know what you'll say when you call or write. so you just don't. and then you really miss them.
you run into a friend from an old place, someone who knew everyone you did, but didn't "hang" with you. you get to talking and those old pangs of sadness just hit you like a brick. and you think about all the friends you've loved like family and wonder just how many of them you'll really ever see again.
and you wish you had more time (and a magic wand to make the world smaller...)
and you remember all the good times, the bad times and the in between times.
and you're thankful.
that you knew them, that you know them, that someday maybe you'll see them again. and you wish your phone had, like, 100 speed dial options...
So many friends, so many years, so many moves. such a wonderful family I've made with my friends. Just hope too many years don't pass by before we meet again. With love to each of you... you all know who you are.

tiffers

Oh, the piles of crap...

2009-09-05T21:32:00.000-07:00

I manage to accumulate. Add to that no purging for almost 2 years (since my life has been in chaos...) and it all equals saturday night spent sorting crap so I can walk through my future sewing/office/writing/scrapping room. Tack on a mini meltdown about moving and you have a perfect recipe for an empty bottle of wine and one tired mama.
I often wonder if we'll ever live somewhere long enough for me to really use the damn sewing/office/writing/scrapping room. I am really SO SICK of moving, packing, unpacking, sorting, painting, hanging, decorating, shopping. Yes, I said shopping. I think I am totally burnt out. To the point of considering never leaving North Carolina ever again. And for those of you who really know me... that is a shocker. Hope you were sitting down.
Off to collapse into a (hopefully) deep sleep.
Tiffers

one enlistment, 2 global moves, 3 weddings, 4 kids and 20 years later...

2009-08-31T09:25:00.000-07:00

The man I married 3 times...and would marry all over again!

and here I am. And who knew a reunion with the people I knew during the most anxiety ridden stage of my life would be SO MUCH FUN!!
So, high school just wasn't all that fun for me. I spent so much damn time worrying about other people's opinions, my social status, my wardrobe and my love life that I just plain forgot to enjoy it. Not to say that 4 years went by with nary a fun time...but really, I don't recall a ton of fun. I remember being completely consumed with worry and anxiety A LOT. Although, I must say my best year was my senior year. Steph, Wes, Stacey and I were the coolest music geeks around and we had an absolute blast. SO, I guess in retrospect...
as Michelle so eloquently put it "Good Lord, we're all adults now, who gives a shit what happened twenty years ago!"
I second that!!
My reunion was hysterical. Suffice it to say that there was a discussion regarding a lack of underwear, a ridiculously long walk in the dark...over a fence...through some woods...to a VERY closed bar, a push up contest (in my finery with my best friend,) NEED I GO ON? A ridiculously good time was had and I will definitely sign up for the next one. BUT next time I vote for a whole weekend of stupidity.
I must say, I was really bummed not to have more time to talk to many old friends. There were many people I was SO looking forward to catching up with. And before I could blink, the night was over and I had not one more minute to chat. So, if I missed catching up with ya, hope to see you at the next one!
And Kristine Eisenacher...girl you rock. Bringing a sweet baby and an even more wonderful hubby to keep that baby...that is awesome! Wish we could have chatted more than 3 words on the way out!
So, now enjoy these ridiculous pics and feel free to comment... I'd love to hear from you.

My oldest and bestest friend....

4 friends VERY late in the par-tay mode!

Why am I the only one who still has hair?

Karena, Jen and Me...damn we some young chicks!! LOL

The fab four...together again for the first time in TWENTY years!

My sweet, wonderful, very missed pal...Shawn. Missed you all these years!

Steph and me... watch it or we might break into song...again!

The first boy I ever kissed (behind a barn in the 7th grade!)... Jason

Man, that Randy is a lucky dude!! Hee Hee :-)
Note the bar crawl ringleader (Sheila) hiding in the center...

Sheila's hubby Marty...always trying to get in the BED!

I do have other children...

2009-08-24T18:35:00.000-07:00

you know. It seems like lately all posts have been about the minis...and to avoid the excessive cost of therapy to address the lack of posts regarding the bigs, I figured it was about time I chronicled their happenings...
Seriously, the guilt is killing me. Where has the summer gone? Where are all my funny snippets about the queen Eva and her loyal subject...tyrant Charley? With an undying patience that will undoubtedly come back to me in spades when they are teenagers, they have endured a most crappy year. I have been continually amazed by their gumbylike adaptation to every new situation/home/school/friend/etc...etc... we have vaulted them into in the last 13 months. And if you really want to go back...It's only been 2 years since we left Oki. SO, let's count... we've moved 5 times in the last 2 years. No wonder my brain is fried & I can't decide where to hang a picture, set a book, plant a bush, set a lamp... at least I still retain the ability to alphabetize spices. :-)
So, the truth is, my bigs are amazing. Eva has endured the lack of extracurriculars, playdates, "field trips," mommy time, daddy time, well, just about EVERYTHING she is used to, with a sweetness that defies the odds. I swear this child is from an alternate universe. (well, there was that one time in target that she jumped up and down & threw a fit that had my mother picking her jaw up off the floor.)

She has morphed into a queen bee, ready to lead the brood at a moment's notice. (when it suits her, that is.) How quickly she has gone from my shy kindergartner to an outspoken and sassy first grader. While mostly endearing, it does try my patience on occasion... A newfound fascination with horses has lead her to repeatedly request riding lessons, horse themed clothing and a ridiculous number of stuffed horses. So, at my own financial peril...I am caving. Riding lessons it is. And in deference to my texan family, western pleasure it will be. It's bad enough my husband married a yankee, if I let her learn to ride english, I would be summarily excommunicated from all things Texan. And that would suck. So, western it is! The other most exciting part of her day is constantly messing with her hair. I am honestly quite amazed at her ability to "do" her hair. Most of the time I thank God, since it is one less grooming task I must be responsible for. She is still a bit "out there" with her wardrobe, but truthfully, I find it so endearing that I really don't look forward to the day she grows out of it. Tommorow is the big day... off to first grade. Wish me luck and pray for the sake of the teacher that all goes smoothly for my baby bug. :-)

As for Charley. Well, what can you say about a child that yells louder than you do when she's in trouble, beats regularly (but with love) on her siblings, has the aim of a major league pitcher with whatever she is launching at you...but refuses to give up her binkie or potty train because she wants to be little. And you know it's just because she wants more of you than you can figure out how to give. My sweet, sweet baby bean. That child is on fire.

And mostly in a good way. Brighter than a thousand bulbs, if you give it to her, she will figure it out. A phone, a camera, a leapster, a game, a puzzle, you name it. I am considering asking her to teach me how to use my new phone. I still don't know how to turn the ringer off... She is sweet beyond anything I have ever seen in a child that young. She craves and gives love so magnanimously that is just makes your heart want to explode. I think mine does at least a few times a day. Her favorite activity lately is dressing up in Eva's clothing. This usually results in one of 2 things... she either looks so cute you want to eat her or she looks like a poster child for horrible hand me downs. And I simply don't have the heart to ever make her change (well mostly never,) so I head out on the town with the brood, dressed like a bunch of street people and hope no one is surreptitiously snapping our photo to use as an ad for birth control. :-) You should have seen the looks we got when JoJo was here... It was like a clown car every time we went to unload. I should have stuffed a pillow under my dress and pretended to be pregnant. Now that would have been fun...
So, I resolve to try to turn over a new leaf. I pray every day for a fairy to arrive and put away all this crap that is stressing me out and making me consider psychedelic drugs. I have to figure out how to step back and do a little at a time. I need some PATIENCE. So if you have either that or a nanny you can spare for a week, let me know! But until then, I'll just try to keep from going slowly insane...
in my brain.

and so, tonight i retire
in the midst of this quagmire

determined to rest
to wake my best

to enjoy my offspring
with lots of zing

wish me lots of luck
pray I don't get stuck

in one of these piles
that goes on for miles

someone please send a nanny
to save my fanny!

in sheer and utter insanity, i sign off...
madcap mom of the many mini macs!

The Adventures of Stick Baby and the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man...

2009-08-13T18:17:00.001-07:00

happy stay puff and giggly stick baby...

my crazy clan of kiddos...

Sittin' babies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ah, the time it is a scootin'. So, I swear yesterday I was one BIG belly and all of sudden I have babies who sit up, hold their own bottles, babble like crazy, roll all over the place (Mercy only on this one, Max is too fat and can only roll front to back and then he's stuck...)

SO, Stick Baby is first in the lineup...
As you may have guessed by my fat comment re:Max, Mercy is AKA "Stick Baby"
Just like her older sister, she is such a petite little bean, only possessing one fat roll per side at the very top of her little thighs. No potbelly or double chin on this baby bug. She is COMPLETELY addicted to her johnny jumper, perfectly content to spend at least an hour twisting, jumping, doing the "lick and wipe" and generally observing the clan mac happenings.

Observing, preparing the "lick and wipe..."

licked, and ready to wipe...where is mommy? is she still dry? I can fix that.... :-)

A happy observer...

She is mostly NOT happy if you leave her to her own devices on the floor. Since that is simply not acceptable, she tends to hog the mommy during the day, since her brother would be happy staring at the ceiling fan for hours on end. She is most picky about the temperature of her food and is known to "demand" a reheat on the bottle. This usually consists of pushing the bottle out of her mouth, letting formula dribble off her chin, and the occassional squawk. She is also QUITE loud, preferring to spend her days yelling random syllables at anyone or any stuffed animal in eyesight. I'm in deep doodoo when she starts talking. I may have to wear earmuffs. or take more pills. or drink more wine. or... well you get the idea!!
She simply adores bathtime, getting quite the charge out of drenching mommy and every near surface with feet that NEVER stop moving. I envision a future in serious martial arts. That child is NEVER still! She makes rolling revolutions around her crib, the floor and every other surface she can stand for a few minutes. Truthfully, this adorable, smiling, giggling, super ticklish and snuggly sweet bean SCARES the ever loving cr*p out of me. I have a feeling she is going to give me a serious run for my money... (more pills...more wine... :-)

And now for the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man...
For those of you who are trying to figure out who that is... see Ghostbusters again...you'll get it. Now imagine that dude shrunk to baby size and wasn't pasty white and had blonde hair...that is my Max man. He is all rolls, all the time. Rolls on his arms, rolls on his belly, rolls on his legs, rolls on his fat little fingers, even rolls on his ankles! And his chin, that is the cutest of them all! My little man is, bar none, the happiest baby ever. The only thing that pegs his fun meter is loud noises, poopy diapers and a delay in nourishment. I swear he is convinced his stuffed puppy is real. He spends inordinate amounts of time chatting with and chewing on that poor dog. Bedtime consists of the face plant, followed by the face rub, followed by a binky and settling into the middle of the bed flat on his belly where he will remain unmoved until morning when he might flip himself over if he can get enough leverage...and then he's stuck since he hasn't figured out how to get enough leverage to flip back over. The good thing about those adorable rolls is that they are darn helpful in keeping him upright when he's trying to sit! The funniest part of this little marshmallow must be the expressions on his face. I swear he is looking at us half the time, like: "What the heck where you thinking," or "What on earth is this silly thing you just stuck in my face? Do I look that dense?" and my personal favorite: "just what is HER problem NOW?!" I'm relatively certain this dude will spend his formative years hiding out from his sisters to avoid estrogen overload. Poor guy.

"What the heck where you thinking?"

"really? I think not."

"Hmmm, what trouble can I get into now..."

So for the Stay Puff/Stick Baby major moments:

July 2: Max can hold his own bottle!
July 20: separate cribs...I cried.
August 2: Max sat up!
August 7: Mercy sat up!
August 8: First torture session at Chuck E. Cheese...(oh the things we do for our children)
August 11: First official road trip not related to moving in any way. Headed home to Maryland for fun time with crazy extended family...

So, that's it for now. Yes, I still have the Bigs who deserve their own post... and my 20 year reunion... THAT is a post in the making...
Stay tuned!

tiffers

so, here's the situation...

2009-08-02T04:12:00.000-07:00

i need to get away for a week's vacation.
wish i could drive a brand new porsche...

AYEEE, i'm showing my number! I hate it when a song gets stuck in my head. Or a poem, or a kid's rhyme. My type-A brain just runs it over and over and over and over, well... you get the idea.
Seriously, I am SO looking forward to a week at my parents to relax and ENJOY my offspring. this time is just whizzing by and i feel like i'm missing all the good stuff. actually I am missing all the good stuff. my littles are getting so big & my bigs are so grown up. I can't stand it and yet, it's so awesome. my new resolution is to STOP THE MADNESS and enjoy the stillness. Because it could be gone before I even realize it.
So, I'll try to update this silly blog soon, so my kids won't need extra therapy sessions when they are older because mom dropped the ball on blaring their lives to the world.

And an update on me...
It's been a tough month for us. My Aunt Millie passed unexpectedly several weeks ago. Since the INDIVIDUAL that was in the "driver's seat" at Charles' school has no life and not one ounce of sense, we were told he could not take off so we could attend the funeral. Uh, he'd be teaching this stupid ass school if he were still a Gunny, so what exactly is it he can't miss? Then we moved into the house and, as you know, my rings and bracelet were stolen. (the bracelet is a new development. discovered it after they fingerprinted my armoire. UGH.) In the midst of all this, I'm trying to unpack and set up this house with 4 kiddos underfoot all day. Needless to say, my wine consumption has been at alarming levels... Then last weekend, I received a call that my cousin had passed away suddenly, at age 39. Leaving behind the love of his life and 3 children. Talk about a kick in the ass. Still can't take time off, so we didn't go.
Well, thursday night was it for me. I finally found out where my jewelry was pawned, when and who did it. I haven't gotten it back, but I'm praying. Regardless of the outcome... I learned this. (Thank you Lord, for hitting me with the proverbial baseball bat of sense and reason.)
I might think I can control my life, but really God is ultimately in the driver's seat and he has a purpose for every event.
The event might make you sad, tick you off, confuse the ever loving daylights out of you, make you doubt, BUT if you stop wallowing in self pity and start letting Him lead you, He'll show you the purpose.
Now, here's where I get to control my life...
I can listen. Or not.
I choose to listen.
And this is why.
Life is entirely too quick. We never know what is around the corner and how it will change us. Am I sad my rings and bracelet are gone? You bet your bootie. Would I change it? Nope. Why? Because it somehow taught me that I wasn't paying attention to my life or the amazing people in it. I was mired in my own stresses, my own worries, letting my fears and impulses lead me around by the nose. For the love of Pete (who is Pete, by the way?) I have the MOST amazing husband and 4 beautiful gifts from God. It's time I learned to live a life of Praise instead of pity. (thank you Beth Moore!)
My rings were the outward symbol of a marriage that has survived some pretty heavy junk. They were beautiful and made me smile.
My kids & Charles are more beautiful.
I'll celebrate that.
Off to Praise.
with love,
the clan mac mama

boxes, bins and little tiny things...

2009-07-28T18:09:00.000-07:00

Boxes suck.
I have more bins than anyone in the world. including legoland. this is a problem they probably have meds for. meds that i need.
little tiny things are the story of my life with 4 little tiny people. polly pockets are the spawn of the devil, my little pony are their cousins and barbie is the devil. :-)
SO, there are now many boxes with many tiny things headed for the garage sale. :-)

And someday I will be done unpacking, just in time to move again. Truly, if it weren't for my unexplainable love of the marine corps and most importantly...my Marine, I would SO be done with this moving crap. As a matter of fact, I am actually considering settling here (which is completely bizarre if you have known me a long time,) just so I don't have to do this again...and again...and again. Of course, I do have an intense desire to go back to Okinawa, so I guess we'll just have to wait and see... REALLY, if God and the Commandant could each just send me an email with their plans, it would certainly make life a bit easier for my planning purposes. Ah, but people in hell also want ice water. :-)

Okay, so on to better things. I am really not operating with all my faculties lately, so I won't even try to provide a witty commentary to make you pee your pants with laughter as you peruse all my cute photos of my fireteam. I will simply let my sweet beans beam at you from cyberspace, then I'll send a quiz email to see if you can figure out what the hell we are doing.
JUST KIDDING. (man, i kill myself. I am just so stinking witty...)
SO, here's a quick rundown of the last month...

Big Boy...independently stuffing his face!

Seriously? Max...ready for reading? I think he's studying

up on how to pray for sanity for Mommy. :-)

July 2, 2009
Wilmington Kid's Museum

Future mad scientists?

Making our very own maze...maybe it will lead us to a house?

Daddy Mac and his littlest princess...Crabby Patty :-)

Evie, checking out the cool "campground"

Charley, "kayaking" her way to the camp

Eva, waiting to be served...

or not.
Charley sassy pants requested to be waited on. :-)

Mercy, checking out the cots...
God forbid we smile for the camera...
Little Terd. :-)

Max... grinning because he just totally filled up his diaper for me. Isn't that sweet?

Storytime in the tent...
This book stunk.
Seriously.
Who writes a book for kids about weather that is this boring?
Can we make it at least a little entertaining?

July 4, 2009
Celebrating? How about relaxing!
Freedom from househunting today!

The future first female Commandant trying on her uniform...

July 12, 2009
Rattling around in our new space!

Playtime in our new home!

My sweet, always happy (unless he's hungry...) BIG boy

Miss Mercy Elaine, with her ever present glob of spit...
her babysitter calls her the "lick and wipe" queen.
She LOVES to lick the devil out of her fingers and then
wipe it ALL over you. It's just so pleasant. :-)

Adventures in the rain...
In our new, fenced football field of a yard!

2 sweet sisters snuggling and snickering in the rain.

my sweet mini macs, snuggled up for some playtime fun!

Happy Birthday Taylor!
The bigs...hanging out for some fun party time!

The littles in thier bumbo seats for some fun...

Seriously? Little stinker.

Cookie time with the bigs! SO much more fun (and tasty,) than unpacking boxes!!

Moving sucks and I'll tell you why...

2009-07-16T20:14:00.000-07:00

Because you trust that people will take care of your stuff. And, truthfully, they did their best on this end. However, while they were taking such good flipping care of my stuff, one of them managed to steal my wedding rings. I was NICE. I BAKED THEM F**ing COOKIES. I FED THEM LUNCH AND KEPT THEM HYDRATED. Oh, thank you so much ma'am. Let me just steal the one thing that will break your heart. Gee, wasn't that sweet of them.
So, I filed the police report. cried. cried some more. called the insurance company. cried a bit more. checked a few pawn shops and then had to buy myself a wedding band. from a pawn shop. cried more.
It's not the monetary value. It's not the diamond. It's the story behind the rings. They have been with me for 15 years. 15 years of marriage. A hard fought marriage that has seen some serious times and survived them all. A marriage that I knew would happen from the moment I laid eyes on my Charles. A marriage that he never gave up on, even when I did. And the symbol of that love that we had blessed before God has been taken. But you know what that person didn't take from me? Every bit of faith I have that the very best part of my marriage isn't a ring or a thing or a house or anything else. It's the 4 beautiful children that are living proof of our love. The 4 sweet souls the Lord has entrusted us with. So, listen here... You can take the ring, but you can never take away the circle of love and life they represent. So, I hope you get what you need from them. And I hope someday you will understand that what you took was heartbreaking, but this is what you could NEVER take. My faith. My belief that people are inherently good. My trust in people. And my unshakeable, neverending, endless love for my husband and my belief in our marriage.
SO TAKE THAT. Ha. I win. Rings or no rings. I WIN.
I'd still love to have them back...so pray for that. But if I don't see them again, I just pray that the love we had spills over onto the next wearer of that beautiful, shimmering stone.
i'm off to pass out from moving overload.

with a sigh and a bit of a cry...
tiff

"First God, then the Marine Corps...

2009-07-09T04:42:00.000-07:00

right mommy?" This wrapped up the discussion I was having with Eva this morning as I explained why we were renting house, how long we might live there and if we were going back to Okinawa. My astute 6 year old has figured out that first, God has a plan... and second, so does the Marine Corps. Jeepers, this life is crazy! Try explaining it to a 6 year old. :-)

Many Thanks....

2009-07-08T17:53:00.000-07:00

for the many wonderful and thoughtful gifts we have received these last 6 months from so many. I am horrified that I have yet to write any thank-yous for the gifts received after my shower. Ever since my wedding gift thank you snafu, I have been a thank you note nazi, so suffice it say...I am sadly, a thank you note loser, once again. Here are a few pics of some of our neat gifts...

Thanks, Des! Old friends send great new gifts...

Thanks, Uncle Larry and Aunt Pam!
My babies are ridin' in style!
(And I can actually go places sometimes.)

Thank you Soldier's Angels and Operation TopKnot,
for the many lovely things we received!

Thanks...Debbi, Angi, My Mom's pals (The Prayer Family), Cheryle, Susie, Operation Top Knot, Soldier's Angels, Mom's Day Out families, Aunt Ruthie, Kim, Katy, Aunt Ruth & Uncle Sam, Aunt Gloria & Uncle Bob, Marge & Joe, Danielle, The GFWC Antelope North County Women's Club, Vicki, Kristen, Holly, Jeana, Tommye, Kristina... the list goes on! We are so grateful and so blessed by each of you.

Stay tuned for more updates soon...
love,
tiff

The thunder rolls...

2009-06-29T04:26:00.000-07:00

and the fat boy flips! My sweet little man FINALLY rolled his stout little bootie over! Yesterday morning Charles discovered him wide eyed and spastic armed, staring up at the ceiling. So far, it is a one time thing, but not for lack of trying on his part. Sadly, I didn't get a snapshot, but I do have this picture that pretty accurately shows the look on his face! He really has the most expressive face! Way to go, little man!!!

House Hunting Sucks.

2009-06-21T20:16:00.000-07:00

And I truly mean that. There is nothing exciting about it. Nothing that makes me giddy. Nothing, Nothing, NOTHING. As you are ALL aware, I am about one of the pickiest people on this earth, equaled only by my mother, Kristina & Debbi. SO, needless to say, trying to buy a home that some other non type A person designed and then proceeded to build with not a single thought to layout, functionality or aesthetics is ANNOYING. Add to that: my beach house is nearly an hour from the area we are looking in, I have 4 children who are SICK of the car and I do NOT like driving long distances, my husband CANNOT help with this due to his schedule, and gee golly, life sure is a barrel of laughs right now. Oh, did I mention the 2 ginormous flights of stairs I run up and down 25 times every time we are leaving? And for any of you who are going to throw some stinking platitude at me right now about anything, I will say, oh say nicely.... Stick it where the sun don't shine.
Ah, that felt better. NOW, I better find a damn house within the week or it's gonna get ugly 'round here.
And, yes I am truly grateful to have my whole clan together, but that sure doesn't mean I can't be annoyed that I can't seem to find a decent damn house.

the beach...

2009-06-18T19:14:00.001-07:00

is a block away, I can see the Atlantic from my deck. The Intercoastal in 100 feet out my back yard. And yet...my poor bigs have only been there twice in almost a week for an hour at a time. I haven't yet figured out how to squeeze beach time, house hunting, laundry, feedings, grocery shopping, beach, park, pool, library, movie nights and LIFE in general into my paltry 24 hour day. We are on the hunt for our new home and I have a great realtor, so pray this process zips along, b/c I NEED a home. Living at the beach is great...but I need a yard and a swingset and MY STUFF! (I should probably refer myself back to my stuff post a few years ago to encourage myself to just ditch all that crap and live in a cardboard box, stop shaving my legs and only eat recycled or organic food. Okay, did I just say recycled food? Um, isn't that poop? Not what I meant and just a really a bad idea. I digress.)
SO...since I have no brain cells left to make any of you fart in your pants with laughter, I'll just give up and post some cutie pics.

The first jump of summer into the iceberg that doubles as the pool at my parents.
My children have boiling water in their veins (from Susan...)

JoJo, taking off for the shallow end

Charley bean, ringing the summer in with glee!

My sweet peas, just bein' cute!

My biggest big, snuggling miss Mercy.

My little sis, holding the littlest mac sis.

My godmother, my fave aunt, my reesie, snuggling my littlest bean.

My bigs, helping Mommy out, feeding the M-n-M's.
What would a mommy of twins do without her bigs?
Drown in barf, formula and poop. That's what.

Eva & Charley enjoying breakfast on the deck...
viewing the intercoastal...
I love this island.

i love my kids.
i love my marine.
i really do love my life...
even if i don't always like it.

i'm gettin' there.
someday i'll be ready to leave before 1:30 in the afternoon.
we'll eat a homecooked meal again...
sometime in 2010.

my clothes will smell like poop and barf,
i might cover my hair with a silly scarf,
my nails won't be groomed,
my hair will look like wool on a loom,
my mascara might run,
no housework is done,
but i've got 4 sets of kisses,
I'm Charles' missus,
i wouldn't trade a bit,
it's the perfect fit,
for this crazy,
sometimes hazy...
obsessed with rhyme,
never on time,
prematurely gray,
alwasy got somethin' to say...
Chick.

love,
tiff

Rollin...Rollin..Rollin...

2009-05-27T19:01:00.000-07:00

man, my girl is rollin'! Mercy Elaine officially rolled over today, May 27, 2009!
She might be tiny, but she is mighty...

Other fun things in M-n-M world...
Giggles, giggles and more giggles! Nana has discovered their sweet spots and spends inordinate amounts of time coaxing little laughs from the midgets. She has also discovered how to get them to talk to each other. It is so amazing to see them notice and talk to each other. I have a feeling I'm in for it with these 2.

Mercy has a set of lungs that she LOVES to exercise at whim. For such a light eater, she sure throws a mother of a fit when she is ready to eat all 4 of the ounces she deigns to drink...provided it is just the right temperature. If I'm lucky and stop to reheat the bottle, she might eat 5 1/2 or 6. Where the fat rolls on her little legs come from is beyond me, but apparently she is eating enough to make them.
Now, when Mercy exercises said lungs, it scares the ever loving daylights out of my little man and he lets loose with an ear splitting wail that gives me hope that he might one day be my little rock star. Of course, his face turns a shade of red that I know cannot be natural and the ear splitting wail is proceeded by the silent mouthed O. You know you are in for it when the O appears. As for eating, I know where his fat rolls come from. And I have the very small bank balance to prove it. That child is an eating MACHINE.
More funnies...
Mercy has legs that move a thousand miles a minute. Future track star? I prefer to imagine a future Karate champ. (You all know I am SO not a sports fan. Hell on earth for me would be jock children.) As a matter of fact, I think I'll pretend sports don't even exist until my kids are grown and can then decide to hate sports for themselves. Either that or they'll decide I was a horrible mother because I didn't spend every waking moment shuttling them from one stupid sports practice to another. Hopefully I will have moved us all to a compound by then and they won't even know sports exist. Other than dodgeball, ping pong and the plate/trash can game.
SO, with these legs, she manages to scooch all over the crib, occasionally thwacking Max in various body parts, to which he responds with one slightly opened eye and a serious look. Then he drops back off the planet.

Speaking of off the planet...
Max is the cutest little bedtime man. You lay him down (ON HIS BELLY, YES I AM A BELLY SLEEPING MAMA, SO REPORT ME,) and he smashes his sweet little face into the super soft sheet, scrunches it back and forth, rubs his little hands around, then just drops off. Like that. No muss, no fuss, just a snooze.
As for my Mercy, after she has rubbed her little face back and forth several times as I am trying to shove her binkie in, she requires her butt in the air, her right hand pointed down toward her little belly and her left hand strategically placed to either push her binkie back in or knock it out. I venture to say she knocks it out more than in and I can prove it by the number of times per night I am required to stumble to her room to shove the bloody thing back in.

AND FINALLY...
Max grabbed Nana's nose the other day. As my Mom's nose is quite small, this shows excellent hand/eye coordination, giving me more hope for the future rock star.

Bars of an Officer...

2009-05-26T19:38:00.000-07:00

Blood of an Enlisted!
WOBC 1-09

My Mustang, WO Charles A. McCawley officially graduated from WOBC at Quantico, VA on May 21, 2009! Our clan is so proud of all he has worked so hard to accomplish and are beside ourselves with excitement to have our family back together again! Congratulations to the love of my life, my marine, my best friend and the heart and soul of our family.

2/3 of the clan mac celebrating daddy!

Daddy and his big girls, basking in the freedom of
Family Time, finally here for our clan!

Mom, the Dads, Aunt Sammy & the bigs!

WO Mac and his EXTREMELY proud parents.
Don't ever forget that he is who he is because of ya'll.
You were and are the most amazing parents!!

2 very proud Dads and one sweet little munchkin!

1 more day...

2009-05-20T09:27:00.000-07:00

until my hubby is DONE with TBS! Praise God for this time that has flown. I cannot wait until tomorrow morning at 10 am!!! I am so proud of my sweet soulmate, he has excelled! Just 24 hours until my family is whole again.

Just a few weeks until we hit Jacksonville, NC, running like crazy to find a new home. Please pray that we get base housing on Le Jeune quickly. Mama is running out of patience for family separations.
Finally...

The M-n-M's are doing great, smiling, giggling, grabbing things and growing like weeds. The big g's are settled into this new life pretty well, if I do say so myself. (Well, I do say so, then Charley starts acting like the spawn of Satan & Eva trots out the whining... and well, I guess that's life.) I have about a million pics to post, so please be patient with me!

Ok. I'm off to clean or do laundry or feed a baby or...
something.
love,
tiff

May 4, 2009

2009-05-07T04:20:00.000-07:00

On the 4th of May, two thousand and six...
you joined our crazy clan mac mix!
Out you came with a scream and a sigh,
oh, sweet love, mommy cried!
You've given us all such joy and pride...
a world without you I could not abide!
We celebrate you today with such glee...
today you are the queen of our family!
Babytime and Toddlerhood are long past...
the Preschool years are here at last!
Do you think you could learn to potty...
so mommy doesn't grow even more dotty?
In a big girl bed you now sleep...
sometimes it makes mommy weep!
trucks, trains and blocks make you smile...
you can push and build for such a long while!
throwing a ball and running some laps...
lead you take some very long naps!
numbers and letters are your favorite task,
for a sweeter child I could not ask!
So, on this day of celebration...
I declare this a Charleynation!!

Happy Birthday my sweet girl!
We love you!!
Mommy, Daddy, Eva, Max & Mercy

Return from the land of no nod...

2009-05-02T15:27:00.000-07:00

Our first Easter outnumbered... the bunny is getting pricey!

the big g's and the cousins

The first celebration O' the Irish... with our future green beer drinkers.

SO, I haven't posted simply because I'm lucky to get time to pee. or shower. or eat. THEN I started thinking that I had to do a bunch of catch up posting. And I was overwhelmed. Well, sorry about your luck, but I'm just starting from here. "I don't have time for that crap" is my new motto, so suffice it to say that I'm gonna sum it up quick and move on.

Since my last post...

We moved out of our house.

Stuff in storage.

Crashing in random houses.

(just kidding, I'm with the parental units for a while.)

Stopped lactating, started artificial nutrition.

(for those of you who knew my goal to get to six months of exclusive breastfeeding, suffice it to say that the need for sleep and sanity won out since I am the only parent around for a while. i made it to 3 months and that is pretty damn good!)

Started working out to save what few brain cells I have left.

Have no earthly idea where in the bloody he-- we are going to live in 4 weeks, when the spousal unit checks into armpit, NC (aka, Camp LeJeune.) Housing is a pain and the market is retarded down there. No worries, though, God is Good and he will provide!

(are you listening, God? I NEED A HOUSE. 4 beds, 2 baths, fenced yard, playroom, 2 car garage, playset outdoors, lots of good CLEAN neighborhood kids with excellent manners and a good school where not one child knows what bratz are. Oh, and a Gas range. Electric bites.) :-)

And finally, I may have lost my bloody mind. I have actually started contemplating adopting a little boy. Not now, but maybe in year or two. The body is CLOSED for business, but the heart is wide open. We'll see...

SO, the M-n-M's are reigning the world in twin fabulosity. They are SO bloody cute I can't stand it. Cooing, starting to laugh, eating like little champs, staring with great wonder at patterns, people, light and other fun stuff.

Max is quite a fat little man. He is tipping the scales at 11 1/2 lbs, eats like THIRTY THREE ounces a day and is trying super hard to roll over. He smiles to the side just like my pop and my bro, knits his little brow in great concentration, gets quite upset (we're talking bright red face and silent scream when startled,) spends much time staring in the mirror of the bouncer and is trying to start using his little hands for grasping something other than my hair. (guess he decided giving mommy a bald spot would not be nice and might result in a very embarrasing old yellow station wagon for his first car.)

Mercy is my petite little Eva clone. She's even dainty when she burps. She weighs in at 10 lbs 10 oz and is still solidly in tiny little newborn clothes. What a difference a pound makes! Snuggling, staring at the aquarium bouncer fish, gazing in the mirror, cooing, laughing and grabbing are her most favorite activities. She's got a bit of a squirrely central nervous system, so we have to be most careful not to let her get overstimulated. She is a champ of a night sleeper and has to be woken up most mornings to eat! Praise God for those clan mac genes that seem to permeate the sleep patterns of my many mini macs.

Charley is zooming towards 3, talking like she's 5 and fighting mightily for her place. She has finally decided she loves the M-n-M's to death and subsequently tries to kiss and hug them so hard they just go berserk. It's super fun when you have to get mad at your 3 year old for kissing
too hard and loving t0o much.

BUT, it's certainly a nice break from her trying to beat them up. :-) She is so smart she frightens me and I swear she'll be writing a novel by the time she's five. I copped out and sent her to school 5 days a week right now, while I'm adjusting to twindom. (Thanks so much to Paigee-Paigee for having the best school ever and for making a place for my baby!) She LOVES it and is totally psyched about moving to the 3's on monday and learning more letters, numbers, spanish, music, ETC.... She already knows all her letters by sight and sound, most numbers up to 20 AND memorizes just about anything you can think of. Her recall of things past is einstein like and I know I'll be paying for this for years to come.

Eva is, as usual, my little helper bee. What a sweet child to always be so willing to be Mama's right hand. She loves helping with the M-n-M's, housecleaning and cooking.

Her patience for Charley is tested moment by moment, as Charley is certainly a whirling dervish of insanity, BUT, she is a stupendous big sis and puts up with a ton. (Hmmm...she must get that from me, since my mom said Charley is a lot like Sam was.) School is her favorite part of the day and she is amazing me every day with all she learns, says and expresses interest in. Reading is the order of the day and I'm so bowled over to hear her reading to me! Her intellectual freedom is impending. She is definitely interested in growing up too fast, but I'm quick to distract from that! (still considering moving to a compound and raising my kids without that crap they call media.)

Charles is less than 3 weeks from graduation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm literally counting the days until we are together again. (suffice it to say it won't be for long, but at least the separation after this one will be quite short, just until we get a dwelling in the armpit.) He is proceeding along swimmingly and I'm SO proud of him!

As for me.... I'm gettin' there. Life with 4 is definitely crazy. Don't know how I'd have done it so far without my Ma and Pa. They have given up sanity, private time and most of their house to help me and my brood. I've said it before and I'll say it again. They are the best 'rents a girl could wish for.

And a huge shout out to my in-laws, Susan and Al, my sis Sam & girls, my sis in law, Melissa & niece Dara, my gal pals Connie and Jennifer and all my pals out west for helping me stay alive, clean, fed and semi sane for those first 3 months. Praise God for the helping hearts and hands each of you blessed my clan with.

SO, signing off with the best of intentions for lots of new blogging to come...
crazy...
crabby...
happy...
healthy...

tiffers and the many mini macs

Snippets of my Charley...

2009-04-25T19:42:00.000-07:00

THIS has not been a banner year of blogging for me. You'd think I had twins or something. Or a deployed hubby. Or a hubby at school instead of with me. Or a cross country move. Or, well, WHATEVER.
Since I have failed miserably at chronicling this last year of excitement AND Charley is fixing to be 3 on May 4, I'm gonna regale you with my favorite Charley moments of her most recent year. Brace yourself, cuz' I'm not censoring. :-)

1. FART, pronounced with long r, like a true bostonian. Kind of like... FAAAAAAHT. I plead guilty to encouraging the use of the word and attempting to video record it just for my own amusement. This pronunciation also reminds me of my pal Jodi...I'm not telling why.

2. "You do it Mom, I'm busy." Enough said.

3. "...last day." This is Charley speak for yesterday. IT is so stinking cute.

4. "Mommy, I have some Mo-chin?" Charley speak for Motrin. The punk figured out that I was totally concerned about the back of her head from when just about cracked her skull open on my Mom's bathroom floor, so she milked it for about a week until I caught on. Nothing quite like being outsmarted by a VERY cute 2 year old. Punk.

5. Putting her to bed and discovering that she knows all the lyrics to my favorite hymn and can sing them with me... ON KEY.

6. "Mommy, I have free minutes?" Bargaining from a 2 year old? This frightens me. By the time she is Eva's age, she'll be milking me out of Charles' paycheck. Crap.

7. "Mommy, you go on pirate ship with me? Me: What kind of pirate ship? "Pirates of the fru bean, Mommy. Your clothes get wet?" This followed a trip to Disneyland with Charles and Bec (I was too HUGE to navigate the home of the Mouse, so I got the rundown after they got home. Pirate of the Carribean was a fave.)

8. My girls singing to the moon and dancing in the soft light...

9. Charley sleeping in a Eva's bed for a nap for the first time. She looked so grown up...I cried.

10. Charley sleeping in her big girl bed at Nana's house, squeezed into a tiny segment of mattress since she had about 90 stuffed buddies in the bed with her.

11. "You dump it out Mommy." This follows her command for water just before bedtime. Yet, another tactic in the postponement of bedtime. Other tactics include:
"you sing one more song?"
"Don't shut the door yet!"
"You rock me, Mommy?"
"One two, buckle shoe, pick up sticks!" (demand for favorite song. must be sung just before i exit the room, leaving the door cracked.)

12. "Look, Mommy, I make a TV for you." This is after she drew a box around the edge of a mini magna doodle. This level of pretend from my 2 year old frightens the crap out of me. She is SO going to pull one over on us ALL THE TIME. Well, I guess if I don't know what she is up to, I can tool around life in a fog of stupidity. Oh, I do that anyway. Well, Ok.

Life...outnumbered!

2009-03-05T09:17:00.001-08:00

Since I have about 2 brain cells left, I'm going to use one of them to post an update of the clan mac happenings since we multiplied...

Daddy and his 2 big girls watching Scooby (their absolute favorite...)

Charley loving on Daddy
In her eyes, he is 10 feet tall, bulletproof AND his hugs cure all!

Daddy and Max, just the boys hangin' out!

Twin snuggle time!

A tiny folded up little mini mac, warm and cozy.

the other mini mac, snuggled tight on mommy's bed!

I am SO far behind on posting! My poor mini macs are going to have like this huge chunk of childhood with no crazy mama notes. I guess I can chalk it up to life with tons of kids and no hubby. More updates are pending... but a quick rundown of the early weeks with my munchkins...

Breastfeed
Change Diaper
Drink Water
Eat
Sleep (HA!)
Pay attention to other kids for 30 seconds. Other kids melt down.
Pee
Leak, Rinse and Repeat above, like 8 times a day.

PRAISE GOD for my Aunt Deb, (Marge in Charge) who stepped in and took over for the first 6 weeks of: feeding, bathing, not sleeping, cooking, cleaning, driving, listening to me cry, ETC.ETC.ETC..... (She also rocks because she is the TOTAL laundry fairy, to include cloth diapers!)

I cannot begin to express how wonderful it was to have Aunt Deb, Uncle Ted, Rebecca & Kyle so close to me, so willing to help and so loving to ALL of my children. (We are all still alive, fed and clean thanks to all of them!)

So for an update on the first six weeks with twins...
they are great nursers, great snugglers, crappy sleepers, have tiny butts (that don't fit in cloth yet,) hate baths and love mommy.

I am TOO brain dead for any other type of info. It doesn't even penetrate my lactose lobotomy.

OH, Eva and Charley are hanging in there, adjusting to life with double the number of sibs and missing Dad. More later. (i hope.)

January 20, 2009

2009-02-04T07:50:00.000-08:00

The new look of the Clan McCawley...

Our family of 6!
Mercy Elaine, 5 lbs 15 oz, 18 inches long, Fell out at 1:02 pm
Max Marvin 6 lbs, 19 inches long, Dragged out at 1:19 pm

The M-n-M's taking a snooze, waiting to be chauffered to their abode.

Snuggling up for a smooch. Better enjoy this while it lasts!!

Charles and I ready to ride off into the sunset with our newest mini macs.
THIS shirt just proves that I won the hubby lottery!
Definitely makes a postpartum mamma feel special!

AND NOW FOR THE NAME GAME...

Mercy Elaine...
During my bible study last year, I found out (after MUCH prayer) that we were expecting. THEN I found out there were TWO. So, imagine my joy as I shared my news with my sisters in Faith. So, one warm night as we shared our studies, a name popped into my head.
Mercy.
I was blessed with these amazing babies through the Mercy of our God.
And so she is Mercy.

Elaine...
is my mother-in-laws middle name. I ADORE my mother-in-law. She is kind, loving, generous, honest, faithful, and the BEST mother-in-law EVER. She never blows smoke up my butt, tells the way it is and always manages to do it with kindness. AND, she cooks better than Paula Deen!

Max Marvin...
McCawley sounds a bit like an irish rabbi, doesn't it? It is an amazingly strong name for the first grandson on my side and the first boy to carry the name on Charles' side.
Max was my great grandfather and my dad's uncle. I never knew either of them, but I love the tradition of carrying on a family name from my father's jewish roots. Jesus is my favorite jew, so this is my nod to our Savior.
Well, Marvin is my dad. My strong, loving, giving, generous, honest, cuddly as a big bear, sorta Santa, super fun, hard working, FINALLY healthy, DAD. I love my Dad and I love that my son's name is reflective of the man who influenced me most and best. He never gave up on me, hung up on me in boot camp (long story, but it was a good thing,) always believes in me when I don't AND he cooks better than Emeril!

and since I never did this explaining thing for my other 2...

Charley Anne...
Charles is a family name on the McCawley side. My father-in-law, hubby and many other Mac men are named Charles. I couldn't think of a better man than my hubby & his his wonderful father to name my daughter after. And so far, let me tell you. My little girl is all boy. She loves cars, trucks, boots, jeans, hats and is a scary little daredevil. I have a feeling she will take me on many trips to the ER. Thank the Lord her aunt is a nurse!
Anne was my Nana's middle name. (my Mom's mom.) She was a huge influence in my life. She lived with us for 7 years before she went to live with the Lord. She taught me grace, drove me on the wrong side of the road, nurtured my love of all things handmade, taught me old movies are the best movies, secretly let me watch soaps when my Mom wasn't home, and drew her last breath with My mom and I standing by her side. She was my inspiration to excel in the Marine Corps and I still miss her, 18 years later.

Eva Grace...
Eva was my grandmother. She was married to my Grandpa Mark for many years until he went to be with the Lord. She moved out to Maryland to be with us when he passed. An extroardinary woman, she emigrated from Germany after WWII, making her way successfully in her new country. Her talent as an artist was inspiring and unique. Having her artwork in my home brings me great joy and reminds me of her strength and determination. Although she and my Nana had been married to the same man, they were great friends and spent most of thier time together getting into mischief and making fun of "old" people. Thier idea of a good time was NOT spent at the Senior center. (THAT was the equivalent of chinese water torture!) Although Grandma Eva never had children of her own, her legacy will live on in my first born.
Grace was my sister's idea. She just thought it was beautiful! To me it flowed like soft silk in the wind when it rolled off my tongue. And through the grace of God I was in a wonderful marriage and expecting my first baby with the love of my life, so it just fit. And my sweet baby girl is growing into a graceful and unique child, one who floats through my life like that soft silk in the wind. Divinely inspired, I think.

I wish I could have given my children names to reflect every important person in my life, but if I did that, I would be like those obnoxious famous people who seem to think ridiculous names are thier children's birthright. SO, I picked these few. Maybe I'll have to have more kids so I can name them after my Mom, my Sis, my Bro....
Just kidding. I AM DONE. (God is probably laughing at me right now, as I try to make my own plan.)

So, I finally managed to post. No promises on how long until the next one, but I promise to try to keep up. Hope you are all well!! Thanks to everyone for well wishes, cards, flowers, gifts and most of all, YOUR LOVE!!

Signing off as a Mom of 4.
Holy Crap.
tiffers & the many mini macs

BEYOND FRUSTRATED

2009-01-17T21:58:00.001-08:00

I know I am not always the most patient person. I know I tend to obsess over things. But right now, I think I'm entitled. We have an induction scheduled for Tuesday and are awaiting ANY type of word as to whether or not Charles will be able to delay his departure (sched for Wed) for a few days so he can be here to make sure the babies and I are safe/healthy AND bring us home to settle in.
I think I have reached my limit for not knowing anything, EVER. I am so tired of wondering if the good of my family will be important to someone else. I am tired of everyone telling me things will be fine. I am TIRED TIRED TIRED OF PLATITUDES. I AM GIVING BIRTH to 2 PEOPLE. I am doubling my number of children in one fell swoop. I AM ONLY ONE PERSON. And I am not nice when I am tired. So you can see why I worry. AND, to top it off, we are moving cross country in 4 months and the list for housing is long. AND they seem to think we only need a 3 bedroom house. I'm sorry, DID YOU NOTICE THE NUMBER OF CHILDREN I HAVE? I DO not intend to cram my family into 1200 square feet. Oh, i digress...
I know the Lord will provide what we need and what is best for our family, but it sure as heck doesn't make me any less irritable, pregnant or TIRED.
Venting is good. A drink or childbirth ( WITH MY HUSBAND PRESENT) would be better.
Funny, I got a good night's sleep last night (had to take ambien to get it,) and I have been positive all day. I'm just at the point of having to go to bed and hoping that if I do sleep I'm not dreaming of this all night.
SO, in a nutshell. Pray we hear some good news regarding Charles departure delay. Pray we have 2 healthy babies on Tuesday. Pray I don't lose it. In short... Pray.

Love,
tiff
p.s. I do NOT know what we are naming them. They weigh 5 lb 12 oz (boy) and 6 lb 1 oz (girl,) I could take out a city block with my belly (according to Uncle Ted) but you cannot tell I'm preggers from behind, my belly is pretty much numb and I only have one pair of pants that don't make me feel like I'm going to pee myself AND I have NOT one shirt that actually covers my belly.
oh, happy day!
p.p.s. I do appreciate everyone's support and kind words thus far, I have just reached my internal temp of DONE. :-)

I am not a HOUSE...

2009-01-09T19:26:00.000-08:00

35 weeks and COUNTING.
I am posting these lovely (haha) pictures to dispel the myth that I am bigger than a house. Apparently I look like a small dwelling in the green dress.
And yes, the belly is big, but there are TWO in there!

And no. Our children have no names. I figure I'll just wing it.
(kidding. just have no time to decide. or rather, my brain no longer works,
so I might just go with Ben and Jeri.)

Christmas Eve

2008-12-30T08:19:00.000-08:00

Our expanding family posing for a quick pic on our way out
to Church. We ate dinner AND took a pic AND were EARLY.
No, this is not the twilight zone and I am not lying.

Eva, Charley & their good friends, in front of the tree. I'm
practicing getting 4 kids to actually look at the camera at the
same time. 3 out of 4 ain't bad!

My GREAT friend, Nancy and I, all dressed
up to celebrate the birth of Jesus!

Me, all wrapped up and ready to be delivered!
(I WISH. Just a few more weeks to go. You
all BETTER be praying for Jan 14 or I WILL
NOT post pics of these little miracles. :-)

My mini macs, all dressed up in new Christmas jammies
from Nana. SO excited to celebrate Jesus'
birthday AND put out cookies for Santa and
go to sleep to wait for his arrival! Their sweetness to
each other is inspiring!

Stay tuned, loyal readers. I have quite a video treat for you later today!

with love,
giant tiff and the many mini macs.

Merry Christmas to all....

2008-12-24T09:07:00.000-08:00

and to all, I wish for you the many blessings this season has to offer! I feel so blessed to be celebrating with my husband and children, waiting for my 2 little miracles to join our family. Those are the best gifts I could ever receive. It made me realize a few things...

We often get so caught up in the mad crush to have THE PERFECT CHRISTMAS that we forget to bless others with our time, our love, our charity and our joy. This is my first Christmas in too long to remember that doesn't feel like a madcap rush into a morning crazed with more gifts than I thought humanly possible. (Thank you twin mini macs for slowing your crazy mama down!) And you know what? It's great! I know my kids still have too many gifts under the tree and I spent too much money that I probably didn't have (and for once didn't use a bloody credit card), but I also know that we gave more to charity in this year than in any year past. As a family, we really explored the reasons for our celebration and we are teaching our children that Christmas is not about gifts and what you get, but it is a celebration of the birth of of the son of God and thereby our reason to give generously to others of our time, our funds and most of all, our love!

SO, throw those silly gift lists out the window, stop buying for the sake of spending and start celebrating with love, generosity of spirit, joy and the gift of your time!!! Imagine how much richer we'll all be.

Merry Christmas with Love from the richest woman in the world,

tiff and the many mini macs

The Best Christmas ever and so much more...

2008-12-22T09:08:00.000-08:00

For those of you who think I have fallen down the rabbit hole...
BOY ARE YOU RIGHT.
At least it certainly feels that way. After 5 months of living single parent style... my wonderful husband (and love of my life) returned on December 7. What a joy these past 2 weeks have been. My girls are head over heels happy their Dad is home and I don't know what to do with myself half the time! (Besides also being head over heels happy that he is home!)
I would gladly post pics of them together, but can't seem to find any, since I have been so busy being happy these past 2 weeks that I have barely taken any pics. Sorry about the luck. :-)
SO, just a quick update and then I will post a few pics...(yes there are a few of me showing the BELLY.)

Charles is here until Jan 21, when he leaves again for TBS at Quantico. He gets appointed a Warrant Officer on Feb 2. Of course, I won't be able to be there, but I am counting on my Dad to make the trek and show some family love!

Funny thing is, I am not due with the twin mini macs until Jan 29... SO we are praying A LOT (as is our church) (and as you should be!) for God to bring them to us on Jan 14 (or thereabouts.) SO START PRAYING. (THIS INCLUDES YOU DAD... AND MARK)

As for the Marine Corps plan for our family after this school.... I can only tell you we have been told the following info in the following order:
Camp Le Jeune
Camp Pendleton
Camp Pendleton
Camp Le Jeune
SO, as it stands right now (and it is NOT in writing yet,) we are headed to Jacksonville, NC sometime in June. THIS is what we asked for, (yes, I know I said I would NEVER set foot there again, but times, they are a-changin') so please pray for this as well! (If you don't pray regularly, I expect you to now, since I have got some pretty big requests out there, so get to it! LOL)

Well, I suppose you gawkers wanna see those preggo pics, huh? WELL, drumroll please............................................................................................................................................................

Here we are... all 32 weeks of us!

SO, I suppose you want to see pics of my kids too?
WELL, here are just a few to tide you over til my next rambling...

Santa's little elves riding the train to the north pole to build
(or borrow) some toys!

The infamous candy cane bandit...
caught RED-HANDED!

A Painted lady... ready for Christmas cookies, presents and
an appearance by the jolly old big guy!

Okay, so that's it for now. My pregnancy addled brain can only handle so much caustic wit at one time. Stay tuned for pics with Santa and more fun holiday rambling!

Love to all,
tiff and the many mini macs

Dec 2, 2008... 13 years and counting...

2008-12-01T18:41:00.000-08:00

Happy 13th Anniversary to my Wonderful Husband!

I Love your snuggles!

I Love our life!

13 years ago today
my father gave me away,
unto you
I said "I DO!"
I could never have foreseen
how you'd treat me like a queen,
giving all you can
because you're just that kind of man.
As each day passes
the time like molasses,
I imagine your embrace,
keeping me safe.
I can't wait til you're near,
til your voice I hear.
Not across the miles,
but accompanied by your smile.
I cannot begin to unfold
the love in my heart & soul,
it encompasses all
and knows no wall.
Each day when I wake as your wife,
I know this is my destined life.
For God has joined us as one,
what a blessing He has done.

Happy Anniversary My Love,
Tiff

November 11, 2008 Happy Birthday to my big girl!

2008-11-14T21:15:00.001-08:00

All dressed up and ready to party!

Crowned a birthday girl by her classmates!

Great big grins over the SUPER AWESOME ipod from all of her grandparents!

AND the cool docking station for my little music lover!

YES, I bought that. Angi, will you still talk to me?
(it got me big hugs and a you're the best, mom)
(totally worth it)

Ready to blow out candles and eat yet more treats!

Sweetly sharing with her sister! I love how great they are to each other!
(MOST of the time...)

And now, for the Evie birthday poem....

On November 11, 2002
God blessed us with you!
Our joy was unbridled
but we were OH SO TIRED!
Quickly, quickly, the years have flown by
It certainly brings a tear to our eye!
You bring so much love to our home and our hearts
We cannot remember our life before you were a part!
Sweet baby of ours, we celebrate your birth
With cheers, a few tears and lots of mirth!
As this year you are six
get ready for lots of kicks,
as our family expands
and mommy needs your hands!
I know you'll be great
so don't hesitate
to grow up just a bit
and be ready with the diaper kit!

We love you sweet bean!
Mommy, Daddy and Charley

November 11, 2003
One year old! Celebrating at Nana & Papa's house!
AND both Nana's were there! What a treat!

November 11, 2004
2 years old and already a jet-setter living in Okinawa, Japan!

November 11, 2005
Spooking it out for birthday number 3!
A ghoulishly good time was had by all!

November 11, 2006
Pretty ponies and plenty of friends ushered in the 4th year!

November 11, 2007
Disco dancing, jewelry making and tie dyed cupcakes rang in the start of year 5!

November 11, 2008
One very grown up girl, celebrating like Cinderella in her castle!
Happy 6th birthday, love!

Happy Halloween!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-10-31T08:02:00.000-07:00

Hi all,
I, the halloween queen, have taken too many pictures even in this paltry picture year....
So, here are all the cute ones from the month long celebration!

Waving Hello and Happy Halloween to Daddy!

Scary Halloween Queens in festive outfits from Nana!

Checking out the goats at the Barbers Hill Fall Festival with Grandpa

Posing with Punkins at School Conference Night
According to her teachers, Eva is an excellent student,
ready and willing to learn and soak it all in!!
Yeay! I'm so proud of you Eva!

Angelina Ballerina, all ready to show off her costume at school!

Angelina Ballerina & Annie, ready for the festivities!
Annie won most original costume. Congrats!

A Storybook Witch and A Mouse Ballerina, off to the yellow
brick road to get sweet treats!

One very sassy witch!

Gathering the first piece of loot!

2 sassy witches swapping halloween treats!

I can help myself, thank you!!

Angelina Ballerina, Bob the Builder & Elphaba (from Wicked)

A rare moment of treat seeking together! Eva was definately
in a much bigger hurry than Charley!

The month of October was filled with lots of fun and exciting events...more to follow on our trip to Texas!

Love to all,
tiff & the many mini macs

My damn opinion.

2008-10-24T21:01:00.000-07:00

Why is it, that in this country founded on the principles of free speech and religious freedom, those of us who are not liberals end up vilified for speaking our opinions, voicing our concerns, and standing by our values?
Heaven forbid that I stand for...

Life, from the moment of conception
Marriage defined as between a woman and a man
Keeping God in our pledge and on our money (uh, hello, founded on RELIGIOUS FREEDOM...)
Kicking the crap out of whoever dares to murder innocent people in the name of zealotry (of any kind!), uh, hello World Trade Center? Plane in the Pentagon? Beirut Bombing? I could go on and on and on...
GOD
The right to speak freely about what I believe without fear of reprisal.
The right to expect the population of this country to stop blaming our economy on democrats or republicans and accept responsibility for this mess WE'VE CREATED. We all did. No one party did it all alone. We are a greedy, selfish, feel good society that MUST have it all. Our economy is in the toilet due in large part to THAT!
The right to be a Christian Woman who stands for raising a family based on moral values without having it villanized by those who choose otherwise.

And guess what... I have the right to say all this I am an AMERICAN. And I've chosen to say it all because I am sick of apologizing for my beliefs.

And just because I say it all, I dare anyone to call me a religious zealot or a hate monger. I'd appreciate that title be reserved for those who keep trying to commit terrorist acts against our free country and it's citizens. THOSE are the true religious zealots and hate mongers.

SO THERE.

GO VOTE and make your voice heard. I did.

Sweet child of mine...

2008-10-15T22:13:00.001-07:00

Eva Grace.

So this has been a particularly tough week. I have yet another sinus infection, my leg is killing me most of the time, I'm exhausted and I DON'T KNOW anything about when my hubby will be home or where we're off to next year. HOWEVER...
I have this sweet 6 year old who surprises the heck out of me with her pure heart, insight and unconditional love.
So, monday I am on my way to the doc for my sinuses. Feel like poop and Charley is being a booger. My cell rings and it's Eva's school, letting me know she says she doesn't feel well and needs to come home. So I talk to her. And she sounds fine, but says she has a stuffy nose and cough and wants to go home. SO, okay. Off to school I go.
I get there and the nurse and I look at each other like... not so much, but hey, she's 5 so we'll humor her. So off we go.
After the doc and such, we head home. Charley heads to bed for nap and I head off to find my Eva. So I catch her in the kitchen. I sit on the stool and bring her over to me and just quietly ask:
Me: "Eva, tell Mommy why you really wanted to come home today?"
(As she looks at me, contemplating whether to fess up or not, I just wait patiently)
Eva: "Well, mama, sometimes I just miss you. And I want to be with you. And I knew that you needed me today."
Me: (crying) You're the sweetest little child and I LOVE YOU. Thank you for being so kind to mommy when I really need it.
Eva: "Can we watch a movie together? Just me and you?"
(At this point she could have asked for a new car and I would have charged one on my amex.)
Me: "You bet. Pick it out and let's watch!"
Eva: "No, mommy, let's both pick it. How about Mary Poppins? (she know this is one of my faves). Or Alvin and the Chipmunks, or... "
So, Alvin and the chipmunks it was.

I love being a mom.

tiff